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Your Morning Rock/New Music Tuesday – July 31st, 2007 Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in albums, jerkwheat, music, music video, New Music Tuesday, Your Morning Rock.
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It’s a pretty craptacular week for new music…ugh…

Josh Rouse – Direction

Josh Rouse is the highlight of the week (in my eyes…) and it’s already been available via eMusic for a week or so. Hit the jump for the rest of this week’s hitlist…

Your Morning Rock – July 30th, 2007 Monday, July 30, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.

Well, it’s Monday again. I’m outta here come Thursday morning, so at least I got that going for me, right? Anyhooooo, check this out and let me know what you think. I think it’s a pretty catchy pop rock song myself…

Silverchair – Straight Lines

Ask Tuffy – Ice Castles Sunday, July 29, 2007

Posted by Tuffy in ask tuffy, tuffy.

Dear Tuffy,

You seem to be pretty smart in the ways of science and alchemy, so I am writing to you in hopes that you can help me with a dream that I have been working on for many, many years. A dream so great, that if we can create it, it will bring us riches beyond our wildest dreams.

I am of course talking about –

The Water Slurpee.

In the dog days of summer, there is nothing on this green and blue marble we call home better than an ice cold Slurpee.

However, regular Slurpees are filled with sugar and calories and Blue Dye #17, and no one wants hang out with a hyped up fatty with blue teeth. Sometimes you can find Diet Pepsi Slurpees, but it’s usually in the spinner that is broken so it comes out all watery and not very Slurpee-like.

I’ve tried making Water Slurpees at home, but so far, it has not gone very well.

The first time I tried it, I just put a bowl of water in the freezer and then went back every 30 minutes with a fork and stirred up the forming ice to try to make the Water Slurpee that way, but after a couple of hours of doing that I lost track of time and fell asleep on the couch watching a Law & Order marathon on TNT. Next thing I knew, Chris Noth had been replaced by some guy who looked like he had coconut for a head and I had a bowl of frozen water.

The next time I thought I was on to something. I filled my blender with ice and then filled it half way with ice-cold water, just like when I get those Jose Cuervo margaritas in a jug. Well, I guess I wasn’t thinking about cold with cold, because when I hit “blend”, the cold water just stuck to the ice and I just got a blob in the bottom of the blender. I guess I needed another type of molecule or something in there so the H20 doesn’t mate with the other H20. I tried jabbing it with a spoon, but stupidly used one of my wooden spoons, which ended up getting ground up in the blades. Long story short, I ended up with a big ice cube with splinters.

(I thought about doing ice with hot water, but I once saw a ‘Better or Worse’ cartoon where the mom put cold water in a hot pitcher right out of the dishwasher and it broke and then bratty Michael and the dog Farley laughed at her. I’m already down a wooden spoon, and I don’t want to risk the blender too.)

Well, I’m rambling on and on here Tuffy, but if you could help me figure out a way to make Water Slurpees, I promise we can name then after you. Turpees or something. However, we’ll still split the riches.

Thanks for your help,
Turpees #1 Fan

Dear Turpee Fan Nonpareil,

Saturday Afternoon Standup Saturday, July 28, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Saturday Afternoon Standup.
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Welcome to Saturday everybody. After a full week of work listening to boringly incomprehensible presentations, I have just the thing for you: standup comedy revolving exclusively around PowerPoint. So take this time to vent your anger.. Feel free to take off your pants, open a beer, and yell at the screen. Just don’t let it become a habit, acting in a similar manner could be disastrous on Monday.

New Movie Releases – Weekend of 7/27/07 Friday, July 27, 2007

Posted by Tuffy in movies, new movie releases, tuffy.

The Simpsons Movie

Starring: Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith

Here’s all the reasons you need to see this movie:


Marge vs. the Monorail

Written by Conan O’Brien
Directed by Rich Moore

Season 4, Episode 12
Originally aired January 14, 1993

20. Homer At The Bat
19. Hurricane Neddy
18. Homer Goes to College
17. Homer’s Enemy
16. The Cartridge Family
15. 22 Short Films About Springfield
14. Treehouse of Horror II
13. El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer
12. Mr. Plow
11. Kamp Krusty
10. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk
9. Bart Sells His Soul
8. Homer the Heretic
7. Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington
6. The New Kid on the Block
5. Lisa the Greek
4. A Streetcar Named Marge
3. Last Exit To Springfield
2. One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
1. Marge vs. the Monorail

What? You’re still here? Then more movies after the jump… (more…)

Your Morning Rock – July 27th, 2007 Friday, July 27, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in Friday F**k Music, jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.

The weekend is here and so is the Simpsons Movie! Hooray! Let’s have some F**k music, shall we?

Business Time Bitches

The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: #1 Thursday, July 26, 2007

Posted by cdnmoose in CDNMoose, the simpsons, total cromulence.
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The Simpsons Movie” arrives tomorrow, and (perhaps foolishly) I have much hope.

Doing recaps of the Cromulent 20 has made my earlier cynicism vanish like Dr. Nick’s confidence at a malpractice trial, and I just can’t friggin’ wait to be in the theatre to see it all unfold.

To see if the movie will take us back to the ’90s when the show was absolutely a must-see event on Sunday…er…Thursday nights.

However, since the movie opens up tomorrow, it also brings us to the close of the big list. The list that started so “controversially” with the softball episode in the #20 slot.

Yes, SA and I know we left off some deserving episodes (I slapped my head after realizing we didn’t have any Fat Tony episodes (“Homer the Clown” or “Bart the Murderer” would both have been deserving choices), no Duffman, no Truckasaurus, no fishbulb, no eight-babied Apu, no Burns’ Heir, no Homer going on fat-guy disability on purpose…

The fact is, the show probably has 50 *great* episodes over its run, and 100 very, very good ones. They couldn’t all make the Cromulent 20.

But 19 others did, and SA’s recap of One Fish shows that it was very deserving of the #1 slot on its own, but when it came right down to it, there’s only one word that deserves to be here in the #1 spot, and most of you know exactly what that one word is…



Your Morning Rock – July 26th, 2007 Thursday, July 26, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.

Somedays, I just want to see a drummer with a giant owl head

The Elected – Not Going Home

Tied to the 90s: 7 for 7: Seven Great 1990s Songs by Seven Major Modern Rock Artists: Part III Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Posted by Yostal in 90s rock, DeadOn's Resident Pop Culture Historian, Gen X&Y, Things too long to read, Tied to the 90s, Yostal.

Tied to the 90s

Welcome back to “Tied to the 90s“, a not-very complete guide to a decade that was. I’m your host, Yostal, and once more, I’ll be taking you through the pop culture landscape of the 1990s. If you have any suggestions for future columns, please email me at GoinYostal@gmail.com or leave me a comment.

So, the very special project is coming to a close. Being July 2007, or 07-07 (and 7 being my favorite number), the plan for this month was that we’re going to look at the seven “best” 1990s songs by seven important 1990s modern rock bands. We’ll look at two a week (which means, yes, we’ll spill into August, but the 50 States, 50 Songs thing just had to go on Independence Day).

Now, the rule I did establish on this was simple, I could not pick a second song from an LP until I had picked one song from each of the LPs released during the decade. That will make for some interesting choices, I think. Also, I did not restrain myself to songs I had not already discussed in previous outings, so if there’s a repeat, I do apologize. Oh and the songs are in no particular order, they’re just seven.

So, I chose the seven bands and then put them in a hat to choose at random the order in which they would appear. This week’s selections: Dave Matthews Band, Counting Crows, and a surprise


Your Morning Rock – July 25th, 2007 Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.
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July 25th? Really? Is it really almost August already? Damn. At least we still have Your Morning Rock.

Midlake – Young Bride

The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: #2 Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Posted by Shakarean Hutchinson in SA, the balls, the simpsons, total cromulence.
Tags: , , , ,

Here we go people. In three days “The Simpsons Movie” will be out in theaters for you to enjoy. For the past 19 weeks, Moose and I have been counting down this list and I gotta admit, I’m glad it’s coming to an end. Not because I’m burnt out on The Simpsons, but because I’m lazy and knowing that I had to do this every other week is exhausting. A lot of work, these posts are.

So as my final post comes up, I must say it’s been nice taking a stroll down memory lane. And really seeing these episodes for the first time. I was nothing bu a wee child when they were first shown, so a lot of these I had to catch on syndication. Doing this let me see the full episode, many for the first time. This next episode is the perfect example of that.

So let’s go way back into the Simpsons vault and see what happens when you decide to try something new. And if you have 24 hours to live, never ever visit your parents. Those old folks get in the way.


Your Morning Rock/New Music Tuesday – July 24th, 2007 Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in albums, jerkwheat, music, music video, New Music Tuesday, Your Morning Rock.

Hope you kids don’t mind the new combination posts of YMR and NMT (they are VHT #1 POS), but with the dregs of the summer releases upon us the need to have separate posts isn’t always there. So, once again, watch a little YMR and then make like Toucan Sam and follow your nose to the jump.

Tegan and Sara – Living Room

Hey, those crazy lesbian sisters have a new album out today! But who else? JUUUUMMMMPPPPP!!!

Your Morning Rock – July 23rd, 2007 Monday, July 23, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.

Here we go again, another case of the Mondays…

The National – Mistaken For Strangers

Real World Las Vegas Reunion – It’s a Two-fer, Mofo! Sunday, July 22, 2007

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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Well my friends, the time has come (now that I’ve got that song in your head). We close out the Real World Las Vegas Reunion recaps in epic fashion, writing up the last two episodes at the same time (damn I’m talented). Why, you ask? You didn’t read that Inferno III recap, did you? I was on vacation, dammit! This is the first time I’ve been able to get around to it. I have a real life! I am not an animal! Join me after the recap for the long goodbye.


Ask Tuffy – Bad touch Sunday, July 22, 2007

Posted by Tuffy in ask tuffy, tuffy.

Man hug!

Wherein Tuffy helps the needy and oblivious for cash and prizes…

“Dear Tuffy,

I am the proud father of a two-year-old boy, my first-born. As he has learned to walk and talk, I find he is a little hug machine. He often sneak attacks me with arms outstretched. I know I should be overjoyed, but I come from a stoic family where firm handshakes were the order of the day. Hugging is not just frowned upon; it was a prelude to an intervention.

How do I learn to hug my kid so I don’t act like he’s trying to get to my spleen through my back?

Untouched in Utah”

As always, you have come to the right place, UU. Long-time fans of Ask Tuffy will certainly remember my three World Championships in Competitive Hugging in the late 90s. Those same elephants of memory will also remember my abrupt withdrawal from the 2000 championships and subsequent denouncement of the World Embrace Tour as a vile corruption of the original inventors of the hug, the Greek philosophers Snuglus and Gropion. (more…)

Saturday Afternoon Standup Saturday, July 21, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Saturday Afternoon Standup.
1 comment so far

Sorry for leaving you all without any weekend entertainment for the last month or so, I pulled a Minkus and just disappeared up the stairs for six seasons. But, I’m back now, and that’s all that important. This weekend, in honor of new beginnings, I’m getting back to our roots with the man who inspired the famous ellipsis whenever somebody mentions the collective noun for the female gender. Enjoy.

* Audible! The video here before had been taken down, so I replaced it with something similar. – steve

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Saturday, July 21, 2007

Posted by ladyandrea in harry potter, Lady Andrea.

I want to be mindful of spoilers because I know people aren’t done with the book, but I finished around 6 am this morning and am leaving for the weekend shortly. However, I’ve thrown a post up at Andrea’s Atrium that is SPOILER-LADEN and for discussion. If you’ve read the ENTIRE BOOK, head on over there.

Schrutebucks Can Lead To Actualbucks Friday, July 20, 2007

Posted by Suss-- in photoshop, suss, the office.

Everyone remembers Schrutebuck.com and the accompanying Photoshop I conjured up following the season finale of The Office, right? Good, because it sort of clarifies the following bit of news.

Luckythreadz.com, the best darn T-shirt proprietor never to engage in anepic Photoshoppery war with me, has bought the rights to make the Suss-sculptured Schrutebuck into one of those things girls wear in those contests involving water. I suppose men could also wear them, but please. Keep those suckers dry.

So buy one today! Like, right now! Makes a great office gift! And birthday gift! And oil rag! And tee shirt!

New Movie Releases – Weekend of 7/20/07 Friday, July 20, 2007

Posted by Tuffy in movies, new movie releases, tuffy.

Now where did I leave my keys…


Starring: Nikki Blonsky, John Travolta, Christopher Walken

Pitch: It’s The Producers but with less Jewy and more gaiety.

Synopsis: John Waters’ 1988 bit of joy about self-confidence, love, and acceptance spins through the Broadway musical cycle before returning to the big screen.

Target Market: The 66% of America that is overweight and wants a movie that encourages you to get that large box of popcorn. G’wan; you’re still a good person. (Unless you’re not. Then you should just eat yourself into oblivion anyway, Fatty McLoserson.)

Why You Should See This Movie: The cast is riddled with stars; the songs are strong; the story is heartwarming and earnest fun; Oprah told you to.


Starring: Cillian Murphy, Rose Byrne, Chris Evans, Danny Boyle (dir.)

Pitch: 2001: A Space Odyssey without the need for drugs to approach comprehension.

Synopsis: Sun’s about to go dark. Eight astronauts will save us with their big nuke, or so we hope; for some reason, the previous attempt seven years previous lost contact. Then things take a nasty turn…

Target Market: Sci-fi fans; people that enjoyed Boyle’s previous work. Geeks, rejoice and come forth to see your Movie!

Why You Should See This Movie: Because Fox Searchlight has struggled mightily to find a way to get your attention for this worthy film; reward yourself with a quality sci-fi film without a single Happy Meal tie-in.

Also showing:

Some movie that wants to be Billy Wilder but isn’t even Billy Madison. Skip it.

Your Morning Rock – July 20th, 2007 Friday, July 20, 2007

Posted by Jerkwheat in Friday F**k Music, jerkwheat, music, music video, Your Morning Rock.

Oh yeah….it’s back baby…we gon’ slow it down for the weekend and give you a little Friday F**k Music…

Portishead – Glory Box