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The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: #3 Thursday, July 19, 2007

Posted by SA in Reasons why I am single, SA, the balls, the simpsons, total cromulence.
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Look, I have no cute little opening for this episode. This one, like a certain other episode I did, is one of my favorites. From beginning to end it just rocks. Almost every single line is quotable. And that’s really all I need to say.

Next week, “The Simpsons Movie” opens. Which means we’re 8 days away. Can you fucking feel it people?

#3

Last Exit To Springfield

Written by Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky
Directed by Mark Kirkland

Season 4, Episode 17
Originally aired March 11, 1993

20. Homer At The Bat
19. Hurricane Neddy
18. Homer Goes to College
17. Homer’s Enemy
16. The Cartridge Family
15. 22 Short Films About Springfield
14. Treehouse of Horror II
13. El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer
12. Mr. Plow
11. Kamp Krusty
10. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk
9. Bart Sells His Soul
8. Homer the Heretic
7. Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington
6. The New Kid on the Block
5. Lisa the Greek
4. A Streetcar Named Marge
3. Last Exit To Springfield
2.
1.

Episode Synopsis

When Marge takes the kids to the dentist, the doctor tells her that Lisa needs braces. At the same time, Mr. Burns is trying to upend the Power Plant Union, and wants to take away their dental plan. Right before the union is about to agree to Mr. Burns terms, Homer realizes that he would have to pay for Lisa’s braces if they sign, and rallies the workers to oppose the new deal Burns is offering. He becomes the new Union president. The Plant then goes on strike to get back their dental plan; unfortunately Lisa must suffer through the old and ugly braces they can afford since that is what the family can afford. Eventually Homer wins out over Burns, and Lisa gets the new and clear braces.

Why This Episode Is Particularly Cromulent

Like I said before, almost every single line is quotable. It has two good storylines that intertwine. We get the big book of British smiles. And quite frankly, the best 30 seconds in the history of the show.

Notes and Observations

  • This episode is generally called the greatest Simpsons episode ever.
  • This is the last episode Jay Kogen and Wallace Wolodarsky wrote together.
  • The title for this episode is obviously a take on the novel “Last Exit to Brooklyn” written by Hubert Selby Jr.
  • The idea for the show came from Al Jean who thought the idea of the plant going on strike was funny.
  • Originally Clint Eastwood and Anthony Hopkins were offered the role of the dentist, Dr. Wolfe. Both turned it down. Anthony Perkins agreed to the job, but died before he could record. In the end, Hank Azaria did the voice of Dr. Wolfe.
  • Dr. Joyce Brothers guest stared as herself.
  • There are so many cultural parodies in this episode that it would be foolish to tell you exactly what everything is. So a brief list of all the cultural references: Yellow Submarine, Batman, Jimmy Hoffa, The Godfather II, “Moby-Dick,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” “Classical Gas,” and Buster Brown.

Memorable Quotes

What the Hell?Burns: Smithers, where’s that union representative? He’s 20 minutes late.
Smithers: I don’t know sir. He hasn’t been seen since he promised to clean up the union.
Shot to football field. Wide receiver running trips on mound of dirt with the shape of a body
Football player: What the hell?

SteelworkerSteelworker: You can’t treat the working man this way. One day, we’ll form a union and get the fair and equitable treatment we deserve! Then we’ll go too far, and get corrupt and shiftless, and the Japanese will eat us alive!

Dental PlanBurns: If only we had listen to that boy instead of walling him up in the abandoned coke oven. Well, I’m going to avenge my grandfather and take on that greedy union and get back our…dental plan.

Liar!Dr. Wolfe: Maggie’s teeth are coming in rather crooked. Has she been sucking on a pacifier?
Marge: Umm…Not to my knowledge.
Dr. Wolfe: Liar!

Dr. Wolfe: I’m also afraid little Lisa is going to need braces.
Lisa: Oh no! I’ll be socially unpopular…more so.

Bart: Cool! She’ll be a freak!
Marge: Bart!
Bart: We can stick her in a trailer, drive around the South and charge two bits a gander.

Carl: What do we want?
All: More equitable treatment at the hands of management!
Carl: When do we want it?
All: Soon!

Homer: Then I got this scar sneaking under the door of a pay toilet.

Carl: Welcome, brothers of Local 643. As you know, our president, Chuckie Fitzhugh, ain’t been seen lately. We’re all prayin’ he’ll turn up soon, alive and well.
All: [laughs]
Carl: All right, all right. But seriously.

Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces! Dental Plan! Lisa needs braces!Lenny: So long, dental plan!
Homer starts to think
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Chuckie drops a pencil into the crack of Homer’s butt
Carl: Bull’s-eye!
Homer: Thanks a lot, Carl! Now I lost my train of thought.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Lenny’s voice: Dental plan!
Marge’s voice: Lisa needs braces.
Homer: If we give up our dental plan… … …I’ll have to pay for Lisa’s braces!

“Exercising”Burns: Who is that firebrand, Smithers?
Smithers: That’s Homer Simpson.
Burns: Simpson, eh? New man?
Smithers: [brief chuckle] He thwarted your campaign for governor, you ran over his son, he saved the plant from meltdown, his wife painted you in the nude…
Burns: Doesn’t ring a bell.

Homer: Hey, what does this job pay?
Carl: Nuthin’.
Homer: D’oh!
Carl: Unless you’re crooked.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Don HomerLisa: This is your chance to get a fair shake for the working man.
Homer: And make life-long connections to the world of organized crime…
Mmmmm… organized crime.

Predate Stainless SteelDr. Wolfe: Lisa and Marge, these braces are invisible, painless, and periodically release a delightful burst of Calvin Klein’s Obsession… for Teeth.
Marge: Uhh, Doctor? We don’t have a dental plan right now, so we’ll need something a little more…affordable.
Dr. Wolfe: These predate stainless steel, so you can’t get them wet.

Negotiations make strange bedfellows…Burns: We don’t have to be adversaries, Homer. We both want a fair union contract.
Homer: thinking Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
Burns: And if you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.
Homer: thinking Wait a minute. Is he coming onto me?
Burns: I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what’s the harm?
Homer: thinking My God! He is coming onto me!
Burns: After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows.
[chuckle] [wink]
Homer: thinking Aaaaaagh!
aloud Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don’t go in for these back door shenanigans. Sure, I’m flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!

LSnDRingo: Look, fellas!
It’s Lisa in the sky!
.
Paul: No diamonds though…
.

Burns: This is a thousand monkey working at a thousand typewriters. Soon they well have written the greatest novel known to man. Let’s see…reading ‘It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times.’ You stupid monkey!

BasementBurns: And this is my basement.
Homer: Gee, it’s not as nice as the other rooms.
Burns: Yes, I really should stop ending the tour with it.
Burns: Now, let’s get down to business.
Homer: thinks Oh, man. I have to go to the bathroom. Why did I have all that beer and coffee and watermelon?
water drips in the background, Smithers pours a cup of coffee
Burns: Now Homer, I know what you’re thinking. I want to take the pressure off. Now, it doesn’t take a `whiz’ to know that you’re looking out for `Number One’. Well, listen to me, and you’ll make a big splash very soon.

Burns: Find the bathroom all right?
Homer: Uhh….Yeahhhhhhh.

Lisa: singing So we’ll march day and night by the big cooling tower. They have the plant but we have the power.
Lenny: Now play “Classical Gas.”

Kent Brockman: Um, my director is telling me not to talk to you any more.
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Monty GrinchBurns: Look at them all, through the darkness I’m bringing.
They’re not sad at all. They’re actually singing!
They sing without juicers.
They sing without blenders.
They sing without flunjers, capdabblers and smendlers!

Woo woo woo wooBurns: Alright Homer, you can have the dental plan on one condition: you must resign as head of the union.
Homer: Woo Hoo! falls to floor and starts walking around Woo woowoo woo woo woo.
Burns: Smithers, I’m beginning to think that Homer Simpson is not the brilliant tactician I thought he was.

Summary

This is just a kick ass episode. ‘Nuff said.

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Comments»

1. washeed neutwon - Thursday, July 19, 2007

this is no question a top 3 episode for me, you already missed one (the softball) lets see if my favorite episode is your most cromulent.

all the negotiating scenes are great.

2. DougOLis - Thursday, July 19, 2007

This is definitely top 3, probably #2 for me. I think we know what #1 is but I’ve been wrong once before.

What 30 seconds were you referring to?

3. Greek McPapadopoulos - Thursday, July 19, 2007

Homer’s Victory Dance is my first memory of the Simpsons. Makes me laugh to this day.

4. Slothrop - Thursday, July 19, 2007

The multiple valence reference to Richard III, Burton’s “Batman,” and The Bell Jar with the “Mirror” scene is an absolute killer. This is right there with the trip to Duff Gardens as best. episode. ever.

5. Yostal - Friday, July 20, 2007

The Homer Floor Spin will always make me laugh, every time…

6. SA - Sunday, July 22, 2007

Doug, if you ever get this, I’m talking about the “Dental plan/Lisa need braces” scene. I laugh every single time I see it.

7. DougOLis - Monday, July 23, 2007

Message received.

8. Raef Sawford - Thursday, November 13, 2008

anyone know what the original ‘they have the plant, but we have the power’ song is? cheers

9. Emma - Wednesday, May 30, 2012

In my opinion, and thus the conclusion I jumped to about the greatest 30 seconds, is that it refers to the following:
Mr Burns: We’ll have to bring in some old-fashioned strike-breakers – the kind they had in the 30s.
Grampa Simpson (leader of elderly men with batons): We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we do have our ways. One way is to tell stories that don’t go anywhere. Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville, I needed a new heel for my shoe. So I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which (leans in confidently) was the style at the time. (leans back) Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Gimme five bees for a quarter’, you’d say. Now where was I? Ah yes, so I tied an onion to my belt. They didn’t have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones. (Burns and Smithers get progressively more bored and irritated in their listening as the story goes on).
It’s the origin of Grampa Simpson’s long pointless stories, if I’m not mistaken, and the best and most coherent one, and actually has a good setup. I’ve always been a fan of long pointless stories. In fact, it reminds me of the time I asked President Clinton if he could help me clean my bathroom floor. He asked me what kind of sponge I would use, and I told him it would depend on how green it was. We walked into a forest to compare types of green, and I decided there and then that I would take up snooker. You couldn’t commentate on the radio on snooker in those days, because of the colours of the balls. All you could say was “he hits the white at a 40% angle and it travels three centimetres northwest and lightly taps the green, which is the ball behind the other ball to the right of the other ball near the top.”
Legen – (wait a very, very long time for it) – I remember when cats had wheels. They weren’t the kind of wheels you get nowadays, they were large and operated only by cowboys. Awesome.


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