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The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: #20 Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Posted by cdnmoose in CDNMoose, mordecai "three finger" brown, mouth parties, the simpsons, total cromulence.

The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time

The Simpsons Movie” *finally* sees the light of day on July 27th.


In the 20 19 weeks leading up to its release, DeadOn is gonna celebrate every Tuesday at this time by counting down the 20 bestest Simpsons episodes ever.

How did we decide on a Top 20? Why, through pure science, of course!*

* – no actual science was used to determine this list

Okay, maybe not “pure” science. But on St. Patrick’s Day, CDNMoose and SA stayed up all night at the DeadOn offices drinking Amaretto & orange juice and debated the merits of all 388 aired episodes to assemble the definitive “Cromulent 20”.

Okay, that’s not entirely correct, either– we actually stopped discussing somewhere around Season 12 because, really, what’s the point?

And yes, we know that coming up with a list of the Top 20 Simpsons episodes is about as fruitful an exercise as other impossible ventures, like choosing the best Beatles album (“Revolver”, *duh*), or which Baldwin brother is dreamiest (Stephen, of course).

Okay, bad examples– those are ridiculously easy actually, but you know what I mean. Hmmmm….Name the Top 20 Cures for Cancer. Stumped? Yeah, it’s just like that. But *way* harder.

Naturally, there will be questionable calls and glaring omissions in the Cromulent 20, so we’ll say up front that if we don’t include an episode you think that should be here, you’re absolutely right: we totally left that episode off to be controversial. Seriously.

Anyway, come with us as we kick things off today with the worst of the best: the 20th Most Cromulent Simpsons Episode of All-Time…


Homer At The Bat

Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Jim Reardon

Originally aired February 20, 1992

20. Homer At The Bat

Episode Synopsis

Mr. Burns recruits pro baseball ringers for the plant’s softball team to win a million-dollar bet. Hilarity ensues.

The Lineup

Figure 1 – Monty’s Second-Choice Dream Team

This episode came in the middle of Season 3, smack dab in the “Golden Years” of the show. There is a run of about 20 episodes from Season 3 to Season 4 that could pretty much comprise this Top 20 list in its entirety.

But of course, there are gems to be had all over the years with The Simpsons, but we’ll foreshadowingly admit that you’ll find that a wealth of the Top 20 comes from these here parts.

Why This Episode Is Particularly Cromulent

  • A smattering of high-profile ballplayers as guest stars showed that you didn’t have to be a great actor to generate laffs.
  • It’s nice to have the rare episode where Homer is the hero (albeit a clumsy one) instead of being the cause of the show’s problems every week.
  • Talkin’ Softball“, the re-working of Terry Cashman’s “Talkin’ Baseball” that plays over the closing credits. Jeff Martin is Jaweh.
  • Being fantastical (and yet still being rooted in some kind of reality) kept the show fresh and unpredictable; you really didn’t know what to expect every week.
  • Seeing Darryl Strawberry as a nice guy/ultimate suck-up/team player is ironically hilarious
  • Gigantism!The shot of Ken Griffey, Jr.’s gigantism makes me giggle like a schoolgirl every time I see it. Look! There it is over on the right! Tee-hee!
  • I have a soft spot for episodes that reference Monty’s fondness for things particularly ancient, like his attempted recruiting of a right fielder who has been dead for 130 years.

Memorable Quotes

Umpire: Okay, let’s go over the ground rules. You can’t leave first until you chug a beer. Any man scoring has to chug a beer. You have to chug a beer at the top of all odd-numbered innings. Oh, and the fourth inning is the beer inning.
Chief Wiggum: Hey, we know how to play softball.


Burns: You, Sciosia, sign up!
Sciosia: Thanks just the same, but I’m here to run the solid contaminant encapsulator.
Burns: One more outburst like that, and I’ll send you back to the big leagues!


Homer: You’re Darryl Strawberry!
Darryl: Yes.
Homer: You play right field.
Darryl: Yes.
Homer: I play right field, too.
Darryl: So?
Homer: Well, are you better than me?
Darryl: Well, I never met you, but…yes.


It’s like there’s a party in my mouth…Ken Griffey, Jr.: Wow!

It’s like there’s a party in my mouth, and everyone’s invited!


Homer: Clemens, did I make the team?
Clemens: You sure did!
Homer: I did? Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! In your face, Strawberry!
Clemens: Wait a minute…are you Ken Griffey, Jr.?
Homer: No.
Clemens: Sorry– didn’t mean to get your hopes up.


DaaaarylBart & Lisa: Daaarrrryl! Daaarrrryl!
Marge: Children, that’s not very nice!
Lisa: Mom, they’re professional athletes; they’re used to this sort of thing. It rolls right off their backs.

*Strawberry silently wipes away a tear*


Well Mr. Burns had done it,
The power plant had won it,
With Roger Clemens clucking all the while,
Mike Scioscia’s tragic illness made us smile,
While Wade Boggs lay unconscious on the barroom tile.

We’re talkin’ softball,
From Maine to San Diego.
Talkin’ softball,
Mattingly and Canseco.
Ken Griffey’s grotesquely swollen jaw.
Steve Sax and his run-in with the law.
We’re talkin’ Homer,
Ozzie and the Straw.


Notes and Observations

  • In the DVD commentary for some episode I can’t remember, the producers talk about someone being the worst guest voice ever only to be interrupted by someone else who claimed that a certain ballplayer (Canseco) was actually the worst. Robust agreement ensued.
  • Canseco’s wife also vetoed a “Bull Durham”-esque plot point that involved Jose having an affair with Mrs. Krabapple as a Susan Sarandon-like character. They came up with the fire rescue thing instead (“The dryer goes on the right…“).
  • When it aired, this episode marked the first time “The Cosby Show” was beaten in its immutable Thursday night time slot.
  • The players’ voices were recorded over six months when their teams came to LA to play the Dodgers or Angels.
  • John Swartzwelder (the writer of this episode) is a huge ball fan, and rents out Safeco field in Seattle once a year to play 8 hours of baseball with his friends.
  • Harry Shearer and Julie Kavner hated this episode.
  • Fox was adamant about censoring Homer’s crotch scratch and they eventually cut it down to one quick itch, but it ended up being extended for use in repeated promos for the show.
  • HeimlichA news story (that Matt Groening doesn’t believe, actually) credited the show with a kid saving his brother’s life by knowing the Heimlich from seeing the poster at the start of the episode. Groening said, “We’re shocked! We never intended to teach anything to anybody. It will never happen again”.


Much like the climax of the episode itself, this episode is a winner and is worthy of inclusion in the Cromulent 20.

The episode avoids the “big game cliche” of Homer winning it with a homer (and even bypasses the “reverse ‘Bad News Bears’ cliche” of losing the big game). Homer wins it all by basically “pulling a Homer“, which was the crux of the show’s charm in the Golden Years– just enough heart mixed with general silliness.

It caps the episode in a picture perfect way.

City Champs



1. Big Z's Porn Stash - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Damn, this is my all time favorite episode and has caused numerous fights with my friends.

“you don’t know when to keep your mouth shut, do you saxy boy?”

2. steve - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I swear on all that is holy, if the Monorail episode doesn’t make this list, I promise destruction of all that you hold near and dear. If it’s not on the list, you’ve got 20 weeks to consider your mistake.

3. cdnmoose - Tuesday, March 20, 2007


4. Elric VIII Emperor of Melnibone - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I hope at least one Treehouse of Horror got included in the Top 20. Maybe the one from Season VII, with Homer^3 and “stupid smarch weather?”

5. stopmikelupica - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Um, this is actually my number ONE favorite episode ever of The Simpsons. So here are my comments for the posts for #1-19: “Not better than the SOFTBALL EPISODE”.

You f*cked up already!

6. Elric VIII Emperor of Melnibone - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Speculating about other episodes aside, you guys did some killer work with the images and formatting in this post.

7. LenBiasCocaineSurplus - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The hurricane episode please.

8. Baba Oje - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I agree with everything SML had to say. That is all

9. Jerkwheat - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Your usage of cromulent was quite cromulent indeed. Steamed hams for all!

10. cdnmoose - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

SML, Baba: We will create a “Not better than the SOFTBALL EPISODE” tag just for you guys that we will use for all remaining posts.

Or maybe we’re doing the list “Memento”-style. Did you ever think of that?

11. cdnmoose - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Thanks, Elric & Jerkwheat, but doing up these lists isn’t all ham and plaques, you know.

12. steve - Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Can we see your tatoo that says “Cromulent”?

13. cdnmoose - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Sure thing, Steve.

That tattoo is sandwiched between the one that’s a pink, frosted donut with sprinkles on it and the one that says “John G. Raped and Murdered My Wife– Find Him and Kill Him”.

14. Yostal - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Well, there goes another of my TV posts for Tied to the 90s. That said, exceptional work.

15. Peter Cavan - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

“Krusty Gets Kancelled”


It had better be on your list, or by gum, I’ll… I’ll come up with my OWN top 20 list. Yeah, you heard me.

16. Easthoff - Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Springfield Mystery Spot is great. “Where logic takes a holiday and all laws of nature are meaningless.” Hilarious.

17. Greek McPapadopoulos - Wednesday, March 21, 2007

This list gets my worst rating yet: 7 thumbs up.

I look forward to seeing the rest, of course.

18. cdnmoose - Wednesday, March 21, 2007

But Greek, I thought you loved my pot roast?

19. Greek McPapadopoulos - Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Cdnmoose, your cooking only has two moves: shake…and bake.

20. Lou P. - Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The softball episode was my all-time favorite. I almost know the thing by heart.

21. cdnmoose - Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Yes Greek, only I could write up a Simpsons post at a small-town blog and wind up the target of international assassins like Baba, SML, Steve, Big Z’s Porn Stache and Lou P.

22. B - Thursday, March 22, 2007

You realize that Cromulent means “acceptable or decent” not “greatest”, right? Either way, this list Embiggens us all.

23. cdnmoose - Friday, March 23, 2007

Actually, B, I was using in its ironic sense (“something [that] is not at all legitimate and in fact spurious” – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Made-up_words_in_The_Simpsons#Cromulent_and_Embiggen).

But there are much better things to argue about than meanings of made-up words.

Like how insane StopMikeLupica is, for instance.

24. Chief Wahoo - Sunday, March 25, 2007

Two words you need to remember, my friend: Frank and Grimes.

25. cdnmoose - Monday, March 26, 2007

I prefer (as he clealy did) to call him “Grimey”.

26. james - Tuesday, October 12, 2010

My Top 20 favourites in no order:
Homer at the Bat
Last Exit to Springfield
Cape Feare
Marge vs. the Monorail
Mr. Plow
Deep Space Homer
Flaming Moe’s
Homer the Heretic
Lisa’s First Word
Separate Vocations
I Love Lisa
Colonel Homer
Dog of Death
The Last Temptation of Homer
One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
Bart Sells His Soul
Lisa the Vegetarian
Black Widower

27. bomo - Tuesday, February 14, 2012

this is my # 1 faverite but he didnt mention my faverite line ever

mr.burns:hey strawberry hit a homerun!

darryl:you got it skip
(he crushes one out of the ball park)

mr.burns:ha ha ha i told him to do that

smithers: brilliant stratagy sir

28. 28 elephants killed - Monday, May 13, 2013

What’s up colleagues, how is everything, and what you desire to say regarding this article, in my view its really amazing in favor of me.

29. Warner - Wednesday, May 15, 2013

This design is incredible! You most certainly know how to keep a
reader entertained. Between your wit and your videos, I was almost moved to start my own blog (well, almost.

..HaHa!) Great job. I really loved what you had to say, and
more than that, how you presented it. Too cool!

30. dusnamatter - Thursday, February 25, 2016

I can’t believe no one has mentioned this episode’s greatest social function: finally, once and for all establishing that England’s greatest Prime Minister (as Barney clearly demonstrated) was of course, the incomparable, Lord Palmerston.

Glad we cleared that up.

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