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The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All-Time: #2 Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Posted by Shakarean Hutchinson in SA, the balls, the simpsons, total cromulence.
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Here we go people. In three days “The Simpsons Movie” will be out in theaters for you to enjoy. For the past 19 weeks, Moose and I have been counting down this list and I gotta admit, I’m glad it’s coming to an end. Not because I’m burnt out on The Simpsons, but because I’m lazy and knowing that I had to do this every other week is exhausting. A lot of work, these posts are.

So as my final post comes up, I must say it’s been nice taking a stroll down memory lane. And really seeing these episodes for the first time. I was nothing bu a wee child when they were first shown, so a lot of these I had to catch on syndication. Doing this let me see the full episode, many for the first time. This next episode is the perfect example of that.

So let’s go way back into the Simpsons vault and see what happens when you decide to try something new. And if you have 24 hours to live, never ever visit your parents. Those old folks get in the way.

#2

One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish

Written by Neal Scovell
Directed by Wesley M. Archer

Season 2, Episode 11
Originally aired January 21, 1991

20. Homer At The Bat
19. Hurricane Neddy
18. Homer Goes to College
17. Homer’s Enemy
16. The Cartridge Family
15. 22 Short Films About Springfield
14. Treehouse of Horror II
13. El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Jomer
12. Mr. Plow
11. Kamp Krusty
10. Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk
9. Bart Sells His Soul
8. Homer the Heretic
7. Mr. Lisa Goes To Washington
6. The New Kid on the Block
5. Lisa the Greek
4. A Streetcar Named Marge
3. Last Exit To Springfield
2. One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish
1.

Episode Synopsis

At Lisa’s request, the family eats out at a new sushi restaurant instead of having the same ole thing for dinner. Homer, wary at first, turns out to be a big fan of the food and orders everything on the menu, including the very poisonous Fugu fish. Instead of the normal master chef (who is busy with Mrs. Krabappel) fixing it, his apprentice does the work, becoming startled when Homer is impatient. Homer enjoys the Fugu and everything is fine until the master chef comes back and see that the fish was cut improperly. When Homer and Marge go see Dr. Hibbert, he confirms to Homer that he has only 22 hours to live-Hibbert made him wait for 2 hours.

Homer then makes up a list of things to do during his last hours on earth, and does a good bit of them. When night falls, he becomes despondent and listens to a Larry King recording of the Bible. Marge wakes up and comes downstairs to see a presumed dead Homer, only to realize that his drool is warm. Homer then vows to live his life to the fullest from that point on.

Why This Episode Is Particularly Cromulent

This is the show at it’s best. Homer isn’t made to be that that much of a idiot. He has nice, meaningful moments with his family and friends. And the gag with Larry King reading the Bible is a very good ending.

Notes and Observations

  • The title is a play on the Dr. Seuss book, “One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.”
  • FOX almost didn’t let the show use the theme song for Shaft during Bart and Lisa’s karaoke song. The show had to dig up footage of the theme being used at the Academy Awards to be able to use it.
  • This episode was the first to use a shortened opening sequence.
  • There are several guest stars on this episode: Larry King, George Takei, Diana Tanaka, Sab Shimono, and Joey Miyashima.
  • Larry King’s role was first offered to Bruce Springsteen.
  • One of the karaoke singer is the bar, Richie Sakai, is based on producer Richard Sakai.
  • The last shot of the episode is a recycled scene from “Moaning Lisa.” It also makes it appear as Homer is eating one pork rind throughout the entirety of the credits.
  • The things on Homer’s list are:
    1. Make list.
    2. Eat a hearty breakfast.
    3. Make videotape for Maggie.
    4. Have man-to-man with Bart.
    5. Listen to Lisa play her sax.
    6. Make funeral arrangement.
    7. Make peace with Dad.
    8. Beer with the boys at the bar.
    9. Tell off boss.
    10. Go hang gliding.
    11. Plant a tree.
    12. A final dinner with my beloved family.
    13. Be intamit [sic] with Marge.
    14. Watch the sunrise.

Memorable Quotes

Homer: Is it done yet? Is it done yet?
Marge: Your meatloaf will be ready in eight seconds, Homer.
Homer: D’oh! Isn’t there anything faster than a microwave?

Lisa: Hm. Thursday. Meatloaf night. As it was, is now, and ever shall be.

Homer: What are you getting at?
Lisa: Well, you’re always trying to teach me to be open-minded, try new things, live life to the…
Homer: What are you talking about? Nobody’s trying to teach you that!

Marge: Tomorrow night, it might be nice to go out for dinner.
Homer: Tomorrow night? Friday? Pork chop night? Marge! We haven’t missed pork chop night since the great pig scare in ’87!

Lisa: Hm. Friday night. Pork chops. From cradle to grave, etched in stone and God’s library somewhere in heaven…
Homer: Okay, okay, where do you want to go?
Lisa: Anywhere but hamburgers, pizza, or fried chicken!
Homer: Fine! We’ll go to Mars!
Marge: Mm, there’s that new sushi restaurant on Elm Street…
Bart: Sushi? Hey, maybe this is just one of those things you hear on the playground, but isn’t that raw fish?
Lisa: As usual, the playground has the facts right, but missed the point entirely.

Marge: Please, Homer, can’t we try it? [going to a sushi bar]
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad, this argument humiliates us both.
Homer: If I said `no’ the first time, what makes you think I’m going to say `yes’ the second time?
Lisa: Nothing, but you may say `yes’ the ninety-ninth time.
Homer: Oh? Try me.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: No.
Lisa: Please, Dad.
Homer: Oh, okay, okay.

Hostess: This is our karaoke bar. Now it is empty, but soon it will be hopping with drunken Japanese businessmen.

Bart: Akira, my good man, I’d like two sharks, an octopus and an eel.
Akira: Very good.
Bart: Do you have any giant squid? The kind that drags men to their deaths?
Akira: Not today.

Homer: Come on, pal! Fugu me!

Apprentice chef: No need to panic. There is a map to the hospital on the back of the menu.

Dr. Hibbert: You have twenty-four hours to live.
Homer: Twenty-four hours!
Dr. Hibbert: Well, twenty-two. I’m sorry I kept you waiting so long.

Dr. Hibbert: Well, if there’s one consolation, it’s that you will feel no pain at all until some time tomorrow evening, when your heart suddenly explodes.

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
Homer: No way! Because I’m not dying! [hugs Marge]
Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
Homer: Why you little! [steps towards Hibbert]
Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
Homer: What’s after fear? What’s after fear? [cringes]
Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I’ll make it worth your while!
Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

Homer: Marge! Why did you let me sleep so late?
Marge: You looked so peaceful lying there.
Homer: There’ll be plenty of time for that!

Homer: [to Bart] I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life.
Number 1: [whispers] Cover for me.
Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss!
Number 3: It was like that when I got here.

Homer: I’ll even bring the thickest juciest T-bones you’ve ever seen.
Ned: Mm mm. Sounds terrif!
Homer: [to himself]Heh, the joke’s on him! I’ll be dead by then!

Homer: Ahem. This is a videotape for my daughter Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I’m speaking to you from beyond the grave. Woooooooo! Hee hee hee, hope that didn’t scare you. Well, Maggie, you’re grown-up now, and unless you taped over this, you’re probably wondering what kind of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, a gentle man who loved his children and… [phone rings] D’oh! [answers] Hello! Yeah, he’s here, who is this? [scratches his butt] … Bart’s friend Milhouse? Bart! Get your butt down here!

Homer: Dad, we’ve never been too close, have we.
Grampa: Not to my knowledge.
Homer: Never once went fishing or played catch or even hugged each other.
Grampa: We never danced the hootchie-koo, either. Whatcher point?

Homer: [on the phone] You gotta help me, Barney, I’m in jail.
Barney: You are? Hey, Homer, go to the window.
[waves across the street to Homer]
Hiya neighbor! I can see you!

Bart: Why are we all dressed up?
Marge: [staring out the window waiting for Homer]
Because sometimes it’s fun to dress up for dinner.
Lisa: Why are we using the good china?
Marge: Because sometimes it’s fun to use the good china.
Bart: What’s with the candles?
Marge: Sometimes it’s fun to use candles.
Lisa: Why are we waiting for Dad?
Marge: Because we love your father and enjoy his company.
Bart: Why are we really waiting for Dad?

Burns: [peering through binoculars]
Smithers! Check out the luscious pair on that redhead.
[staring at her red pumps]
That’s it baby, work those ankles!
Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.

Homer: Hey Burns! Eat! my! shorts!
Burns: Who the Sam Hill was that?
Smithers: Why it’s Homer Simpson, sir. One of the schmos from sector 7-G.
Burns: Simpson, eh?

Moe: Hello, Moe’s Tavern. Birthplace of the Rob Roy.
Bart: Is Seymour there? Last name Butz.
Moe: Just a sec. Hey, is there a Butz here? A Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz! [realizes] Wait a minute…Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I’m gonna pull out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!

Marge: I wrote a poem for you this afternoon, Homer. It’s called, `To a Husband’.
Homer: Okay, okay.
Marge: (Ahem.) The blackened clouds are forming.
Homer: Oh, give me a break, Marge.
Marge: Soon the rain will fall.
My dear one is departing.
But first, please heed this call.
That always will I love you,
My one, my love, my all.

Homer: Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are.
Goodbye, Lisa. I know you’ll make me proud.
Goodbye, Bart. … I like your sheets.

Cassette: Hi, I’m Larry King. In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth… [fast forward through ‘begets’]lest I come and smite the earth with a curse. Well, that’s it. Olgie and Frank [sic] is standing by, we’ll get some coffee, we’ll get some matzo-ball soup. I love the San Antonio Spurs, by the way, if you’re betting on the NBA this year, I think they’ll win it all. So I guess there’s nothing more to say but… [closing music]

Homer: I’m alive! From this day forward, I vow to live life to its fullest!

Summary

A great episode all the way around. And quite frankly, we should all heed Homer’s advice. Live life to the fullest.

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Comments»

1. DougOLis - Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I feel like this episode should have been the series finale.

2. Yostal - Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Great work SA, you did wonderful work on this and it’s got me all hyped for Friday.

3. washeed neutwon - Tuesday, July 24, 2007

the five steps of death is my favorite part of any epsiode ever.

4. heyzeus - Tuesday, July 24, 2007

This episode makes me tear up a little bit. This one’s a true reminder of how great this show is – it can start out totally absurd, and in just 24 minutes make you love life and want to give your dad a hug, then eat some pork rinds.

5. SA - Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Thanks again Yost.

Completely agree Heyzeus. Funny yet sweet, and not a dumb Homer. Even though seasons 3-4 were the heyday of the show, Homer was getting more and more idiotic by the minute by then.

I love the rushed five stages of death too Washeed Neuton. Although “dental plan/lisa needs braces” is probably my fav. moment ever.

Doug, do you mean the entire series? Or the season finale during that time?

6. DougOLis - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I mean the entire series. It would have been a hell of a send off. I suppose there weren’t enough of the characters in it for that though. And they wouldn’t have shelved it for 20 years or however long the series goes.

7. Baba Oje - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Monorail #1? I would have to say yes, but softball is still better.

8. washeed neutwon - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

@ baba

the way i see it there are two great epsidoes left and only one can be one the other is left off

monorail
burns heir (my personal favorite)

9. SA - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Doug-I think this upcoming season is the 21st. To be honest, I haven’t watched since the 11th season. Or maybe 12th. I don’t remember exactly. The only episode since then I’ve seen was “The President Wore Pearls.”

I agree on both fronts. This would be a good epi to end the show with, whenever the show ends (I doubt FOX want to give up this cash cox anytime soon), but I think I would like to see more characters in the show if it was the last epi ever. So I can see both points.

Baba, Washeed-y’all are just going to have wait one more day.

10. Baba Oje - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

If monorail doesnt make the list, it will be further proof that enough research wasnt done.

11. DougOLis - Wednesday, July 25, 2007

What’s it called? [starts chanting]Monorail, Monorail, Monorail

12. Stone - Thursday, July 26, 2007

I still hold a small bit of hope that Homer Badman can be #1. But if it isn’t, it better show up onthe “Cutting Room Floor” List, or else I’ll be ticked.


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