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House: Season 4, Episode 1 Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Posted by gordonshumway in gordonshumway, House.

So last night was the season premiere of House and I couldn’t be happier to again share my Tuesday nights with Hugh Laurie, the sexiest thing with a cane since Mr. Peanut. I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t spend the last four days watching Season Three in its entirety to prepare myself for tonight’s premiere. I’d also be lying if I said that I didn’t eat Cool Whip for breakfast, so who knows if I’m a credible narrator.

Last night’s episode, titled “Alone”, opens with a young man standing in the parking lot of an office building, trying to convince his girlfriend to leave work so they can go see Star Wars (Episode 4) in the theatre, which makes me wonder how this guy has a girlfriend in the first place. When he starts to apologize for getting upset with her, perhaps relieved that he’ll have the freedom to masturbate in peace, the building starts to tremble and eventually collapses.

It’s never really explained why the building caved in but suffice it to say that I added “Freakish Building Collapse” to the list of reasons I’m glad I’m unemployed, right above “Can Spend Weekdays Pretending Neighbor’s Springer Spaniel Is My Own”. Oh sure, I don’t have insurance and I’m out of so-called “solid foods” but at least I’m not going to be buried alive under a pile of rubble and rebar and toner cartridges.

Cue the Massive Attack, opening credits, and commercial break. (more…)