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American Idol Roundtable – Top 11 Performance Show Recap Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, Columns, DeadOn Round Table, DougOLis, Filler material, Hot chicks, JB*, jerkwheat, Jesus confusion, matt_T, objectivity is overrated, Television.
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8 comments

COUNTRY WEEK, Y’ALL!! You’re missing out if you aren’t joining in on the Tuesday Night Idol Liveblog. Phrases are being coined left and right and we will now be referring to Michael Sarver as Fat Dale, Jr. Grand Ol’ Opry week wasn’t as awful as we anticipated and it left most of us pleasantly surprised. Except for one particular performance. Join us after the jump for the weekly meeting of the post-performance Roundtable… (more…)

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Live! Hot! Txxxt! with…The Secretary Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Posted by cdnmoose in CDNMoose, Filler material, Hot sex, just some poor attempts at humor.
4 comments

Live! Hot! Txxxt!
Browsing the tubes last night, I came across an ad for Virgin Mobile’s Promiscuous Text service (http://letshavetxt.com).

And hey, with the rising price of escorts (I blame oil prices, the mortgage crisis and a single John Stamos), and my paranoia that the Tamil Tigers are monitoring my house phone (don’t ask, but it means I can’t dial 900 numbers anymore), I am limited in the number of ways to exercise my God-given right to get my freak on with total strangers.

Thank God then, friends, because the final fronteir is here: clumsy phone sex through T9.

Now, I have no idea if Virgin’s network is truly more efficient at carrying saucy text messages than the other guys’, but whatever. They seem to think it’s a high enough differentiator for their service to the point that they’ve put up a site to allow you to carry on a txt conversation with one of seven fantasy personas, I guess as if you were on the Virgin Network (except without the video…and sound…and keyboard…)

The SecretaryOf course, being a live sex phone operator is probably a pretty crappy job (having *so* many orgasms all day, it must be exhausting and so very, very dehydrating). So, I naturally assumed that there wasn’t an actual person on the other end of the chat, but a sexxxed-up computer ready to do Richard Branson’s bidding.

Did I txt a human? A computer? And most importantly: was it a boy computer or a girl computer? Could s/he *feel* my absolute sexitude bound by 162-character-max messages?

So come on in and decide for yourself as you watch the actual txt conversation I had last night as I gave THE SECRETARY the big O, like, 15 times after the jump…

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In Case You Are Missing Us… Thursday, January 10, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in Filler material, jerkwheat, just some poor attempts at humor, Posts that should have more humor.
2 comments

And, uh, are you? Really?

Well, just so you know, expect a return to a normal posting schedule starting next week. YMR will be back, New Music Tuesday, and maybe we’ll address some of the shitty shows that are on in lieu of those that aren’t thanks to the writer’s strike. DAMN YOU NETWORK SUITS!!! But, in the meantime, there will be brainstorming and plotting of ways to make DeadOn’s 2nd year better than the first – and we’ve somehow managed nearly 400K views of our little slice of the internets with a month plus to go in Year One. Thanks to everyone who keeps stopping by, we promise we’ll be back in full swing on Monday. Pinkie Swear.

My Growing Pains-Was A Cute Episode Friday, November 30, 2007

Posted by Shakarean Hutchinson in Filler material, Reasons why I am single, Scrubs, Things too long to read, TV.
6 comments

Which is something I never thought I would say about a television show that didn’t involve baby tigers or cartoon characters. But Thursday night’s show was. Hey, who needs the NFL Network when you have a brand new Scrubs to watch? I know I sure don’t. Also I don’t get the channel. But I wouldn’t have watched the game even if I did. Really, honestly, not pulling your leg.

But back to the show. We got three distinct stories that interconnected at the end. And the return of Hooch. And in case you forgotten, Hooch is crazy. Really, Hooch is seriously crazy. (more…)

YouTube Comment of the Week Sunday, May 13, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Filler material.
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I really can’t contribute anything worthwhile on a regular basis to DeadOn, or the world in general, but I try to make up for that by filling up the weekend slots so FACT isn’t on top of the page when you wake up Monday morning. I now present to you, a new maybe weekly feature, Youtube Comment of the Week. I don’t know if you have ever attempted to read the Youtube comments, but don’t. It looks like a pissed off 14 year old girl text messaged them in while on crack. This week’s video is entitled “Funniest Thing In The World” and your commenting genius is chrismanalink. While Youtube is awesome, and the intertubes would be a lesser place without it, we have, on one page, all that is wrong with the internet.

chrismanalink (3 weeks ago)

omg this suks, reli… its not funi A cos it looked like it reli urt and B cos…cos… U SUCK!!!!

This comment pretty much sums up what we are looking for in Youtube Comment of the Week: needless abbreviations, no coherent thought attempted to be made, and just raw hatred for no good reason.

Do you have a nomination for Youtube Comment of the week? Send your selections to LButler36@gmail.com. If your comment is selected, you could win a spin on the Prize Wheel!

 

AKB’s Korner – Yacht Rock Vol. 2 Sunday, April 22, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Filler material.
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This week’s filler material brought to you by the Adorable Koala Bear is the second half of Channel 101’s Yacht Rock. If you missed last week’s edition, check it out here. Episode 6 is a bit of a departure for Yacht Rock, so stay with it, we get back to normal for episode 7.

“The Seed Drill”

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Their Story-Made Me Realize Why I like Them In Supporting Roles Friday, April 20, 2007

Posted by Shakarean Hutchinson in Filler material, maybe you should read a book instead, Posts that should have more humor, reading this post will only waste valuable seconds, SA, Scrubs, TV shows.
11 comments

Before I get started on the show, if you may let me take a moment to air out a grievance. To the producers of Scrubs/NBC higher-ups may I please make a request: No more of these “Get to Know the Cast of Scrubs! or Let’s Ask Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke a Bunch of Questions!” bullshit filler pieces. I don’t care. And I would guess a lot of viewers don’t care. This is the third week now that you’ve shown these things. If I really wanted to know what their nicknames were I would Google them. And then go start a blog called “Zach Braff and Sarah Chalke Are the Greatest Two Actors Ever and JD and Elliot Will End Up Together!!!1!!1!” But I’m not gonna go do that shit cause I don’t care. So please, stop it. Just stop. Here’s an idea for you-write more minutes into the episode. I know I know-it’s a risky and crazy thing to do, but it just might work.

Whew. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, let’s get into the episode shall we? (more…)

AKB – Yacht Rock Vol. 1 Sunday, April 15, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Filler material, kenny loggins, music, no snark?.
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6 comments

adk.jpgWelcome to the first edition of the Adorable Koala Bear’s Korner, a semi-regular column of filler material for your weekend viewing pleasure. This week I bring to you a Channel 101 classic, Yacht Rock. For those of you out of the loop, Channel 101 is a monthly contest where people submit a 5 minute “pilot” of a show. Every month 10 different pilots are shown. Votes are taken and the top 5 advance to the next month. One of the longest running series was Yacht Rock. Today I present to you the first 5 of the 10 episodes. So if you want to get a few laughs and listen to some good music, check it out. (more…)

Saturday Afternoon Standup Saturday, April 14, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, cartoons, comedy, Filler material, Fuck You Nibbles, mitch hedberg, photoshop, Saturday Afternoon Standup, the balls.
3 comments

Bad “photoshop”There’s no such thing as too much Mitch Hedberg here at DeadOn. Last week I gave you an anime/Hedberg mashup. This week you get to see the man himself when he appeared on Letterman. Hedberg gets an insane amount of jokes into a 5 minute set. If you still prefer to hear your Hedberg jokes over animated cartoons, don’t worry, we got you covered there too. So stop mourning Nibbles for a few minutes, put down remote, sit back and listen to the comedy stylings of the master, after the jump. (more…)

Letters To Pat Riley Sunday, April 8, 2007

Posted by stopmikelupica in bad hair, Filler material, Since no one reads this on the weekend, SML, Stopmikelupica.
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Pat Riley sits in his office. His tea has gone cold, its raining outside (clouding up his window) and he’s wondering why he even got out of bed at all. He can’t see outside, and if he could it would all be gray anyway. Then he spots his framed picture on the wall of him, Shaq, and Wade celebrating last season’s championship. And it reminds him that it’s not so bad, it’s not so bad.

[He opens a letter addressed to him, postmarked six weeks back]

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Soccer Commercials Rule Sunday, April 8, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in commercials, Filler material, soccer.
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6 comments

Americans have some things to learn from our brothers across the pond from making commercials. Ever since MLB stopped airing classics such as “Chicks Dig the Long Ball” and “Traded for a Side of Rice Pilaf”, things have gone down hill. So here’s a quick advertising lesson for MLB, NFL, and NBA courtesy of our soccer loving friends.

More Videos after the jump.

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Saturday Afternoon Standup Saturday, April 7, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in anime, asians, Baba Oje, Filler material, Saturday Afternoon Standup.
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1 comment so far

So I missed a couple weeks of this, but what can you do? That’s why this week I bring to you a very special Saturday Afternoon Standup, which brings together several of the topics we have been over this week at DeadOn: Anime and Mitch Hedberg. Enjoy.

This is why DeadOn rules on weekends. Post whatever fucked up shit you can find on the internet just to take up space. Good times.

Classic Sprite Commercials Sunday, March 25, 2007

Posted by stopmikelupica in boredom, Filler material, Hot chicks, Since no one reads this on the weekend, SML, Stopmikelupica.
11 comments

It all started when we heard Gheorge Muresan is still living, thanks to Deadspin. That led to a search for our favorite Muresan moment of all time, this commercial:

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My Scrubs-I Didn’t See It Saturday, March 17, 2007

Posted by Shakarean Hutchinson in Filler material, maybe you should read a book instead, SA, Scrubs, the balls, TV.
6 comments

This is a day late. I let my friend and fellow DeadOn contributor CDNMoose use the timeslot on Friday.

Let me just start off by saying this recap is gonna suck balls, big time. In between being at the hospital all night and hearing about my team shitting itself against a fucking mid-major (no matter how good this one may be). I didn’t get to see the entire episode. Hell, I didn’t see half the episode much less hear the dialogue. And the parts I did see I didn’t pay too much attention to. I only saw and heard bits and pieces of Scrubs this week. Sorry this isn’t great work today, but is it ever? (more…)

This Week In Rock: Hungover Hump Day Edition Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Posted by Greek McPapadopoulos in 90s rock, Filler material, Greek McPapadopoulos, I'm hot for Alternative Rock, just some poor attempts at humor, music.
2 comments

So, with the conclusion of finals earlier this week, my career as a college student is officially over (well, at least until I hear back from the law schools I applied to–fingers crossed!). I am now just a creepy alumnus who hangs out around campus, at least until they give me their diploma dealy that gives my claim legitimacy. So as it stands now, I’m working “full-time” at a radio station, writing a bi-weekly music column, writing for another music magazine, and in the process of contributing to a couple of other music websites. Plus, I get to go to all the college parties without worrying about classes. Right now, life is pretty freaking sweet.

This week, we cover news on R.E.M., Wilco, Green Day, Bonnaroo, the Shortlist Prize, and various other bands that I know you love. Details are available by clicking this little link right here! (more…)

The Jose Reyes Experiment Sunday, March 11, 2007

Posted by stopmikelupica in Filler material, Jose Reyes, Since no one reads this on the weekend, SML, Stopmikelupica, The Mets are Cobra.
3 comments

This scene takes place at Mets Command, in a meeting room. Currently there is Mets Commander Minaya and Mets Manager Randolph.

Minaya: “…and so I said ‘Let’sssss make out, baby’…”
[a third man enters the room]

Minaya: “Chief Head of Scouting Dr. Mindbender, come in.”
Dr. Mindbender: “Thank you, Commander Minaya. Ran-dolph.”
Randolph: “What brings you here today?”
Dr. Mindbender: “I just received some interesting news from the scientists in charge of Project Reyes, sir.”
Minaya: “Project Reyesssss?”
Dr. Minderbender: “Yes, sir. You remember Project Reyes, right?”
Randolph: “Of course we do. But why don’t you briefly sum it up, for the benefit of those who might someday read the transcript of this secret meeting.”
[Mindbender pauses to sip some water]

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The ‘Bu Sunday, March 11, 2007

Posted by Baba Oje in Baba Oje, Filler material, the bu, the lonely island.
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thebuposter.jpg

Its Sunday and we’re in a lull here at Deadon, so waste a few minutes here with me while you enjoy episodes 3 and 4 of The ‘Bu. There are a few small casting changes in these episodes. Notably Sarah Chalke’s character has been taken over by an Asian man in drag and then a puppet in episodes 3 and 4 respectively.

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