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Big Brother: The Immaculate Gonorrhea Monday, July 9, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in reality TV, The Fan's Attic.
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19 comments

Previously on Big Brother, viewers were introduced to the 14 contestants and the contestants learned that some of them would be playing the game with their “enemies.”  Oooh, scary.  Mother of three, driver of Hummer and bible thumper Kail won the Head of Household.  Then, the contestants found out which enemies were in the house.  Which brings us to this episode… (more…)

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Big Brother: More Superficial Than Ever Saturday, July 7, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in Baba Oje, Chilltown, just some poor attempts at humor, Lady Andrea, more indepth than probably need-be, reality TV, The Fan's Attic.
3 comments

America’s favorite summertime reality show, Big Brother, returned to the airwaves for its eighth installment on Thursday. BB feeds the voyeur inside of all Americans. This year 14 people moved into the Big Brother house with cameras recording their every move. We get to see them do exciting stuff like scratch their asses when they are bored out of their gourdes, which is probably all the time. Along the way the contestants play stupid little games for power in the house. The ultimate goal is to be the last one standing and win $500,000. Really, it’s like Real World under house arrest and a concrete goal at the end of show. (Editor’s note: The Fan’s Attic wrote this post but it was developed with the help of Lady Andrea, Baba Oje and Chilltown. I have tried to attribute jokes to the person I believe made them. If I didn’t credit you, I’m sorry.) More after the jump…. (more…)

DeadOn Goes To The Movies: Evan Almighty Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in goathair, just some poor attempts at humor, Lady Andrea, movies, new movie reviews, SML's website is higher ranked than The Fan's Attic, suss, The Fan's Attic, Things I Wrote At My Real Job.
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5 comments

As the summer movie season rolls along, we here at DeadOn are committed to giving our readers critical, well-thought analysis (well, it’s analysis at least) because we don’t want you to waste your hard-earned money on bad movies, long lines and spending time with inordinate amounts of teenagers. That and we can’t get enough of seeing our own words in the blogosphere. We are bound and determined to be the eyes and ears for our readers…. Well, at least the eyes and ears for the 85 other writers on this website, who account for most of our readers.

The big movie this week is Evan Almighty starring Steve Carrell and everybody’s favorite movie narrator, Morgan Freeman.  Evan is the sequel to the delightfully funny Bruce Almighty starring Jim Carrey and everybody’s favorite narrator.  You probably know the story, God, Morgan Freeman, wants [blank person] to do something for him or fill in for him or something like that and hilarity ensues. So, without further ado…. (more…)

Telephone Fanfiction: Walker, Texas Ranger Monday, June 18, 2007

Posted by Suss-- in athleticsupporter, BowdenBowdenBowden, CDNMoose, Clare, Holly/Magnolia, Lady Andrea, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Lingering Bursitis, SA, suss, The Fan's Attic, Things too long to read, undergroundBTO, Yostal.
32 comments

walkerfanfic.jpg

So, remember that summer camp variant of the Telephone game where one person would tell the beginning of a story, then the next person would continue the story, and so on until the story devolved into the world’s longest poo joke? (Note: the “longest” describes the joke, not the poo. At least at my summer camp.”)

So we decided to play that game as much older children, with not only a wider vocabulary but an extremely more sophisticated gutter mind.

Surprisingly, the word “roundhouse” was used only three times. Twice by CDNMoose.

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DeadOn Goes To The Movies: Ocean’s Thirteen Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in athleticsupporter, CDNMoose, Lady Andrea, Lingering Bursitis, movies, new movie reviews, Posts that should have more humor, SML's website is higher ranked than The Fan's Attic, The Fan's Attic.
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13 comments

As the summer movie season rolls along, we here at DeadOn are committed to giving our readers critical, well-thought analysis (well, it’s analysis at least) because we don’t want you to waste your hard-earned money on bad movies, long lines and spending time with inordinate amounts of teenagers. That and we can’t get enough of seeing our own words in the blogosphere. We are bound and determined to be the eyes and ears for our readers…. Well, at least the eyes and ears for the 85 other writers on this website, who account for most of our readers.

The big movie this week is the latest installment of the Ocean’s… series, Ocean’s Thirteen starring a shit-ton of people who you probably have seen before. So, without further ado….

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DeadOn Goes To The Movies: Knocked Up Monday, June 4, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in athleticsupporter, CDNMoose, comedy, goathair, Lingering Bursitis, new movie reviews, Posts that should have more humor, SML's website is higher ranked than The Fan's Attic, The Fan's Attic, Things I Wrote At My Real Job.
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7 comments

As the summer movie season rolls along, we here at DeadOn are committed to giving our readers critical, well-thought analysis because we don’t want you to waste your hard-earned money on bad movies, long lines and spending time with inordinate amounts of teenagers. That and we can’t get enough of seeing our own words in the blogosphere. We are bound and determined to be the eyes and ears for our readers…. Well, at least the eyes and ears for the 85 other writers on this website, who account for most of our readers.

The big movie this week the latest raunchy comedy from Judd Apatow, Knocked Up, starring Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogen and a bunch of other people you’ve probably seen in other Apatow movies. So, without further ado…. (more…)

DeadOn Goes To The Movies Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in athleticsupporter, BowdenBowdenBowden, CDNMoose, just some poor attempts at humor, Lady Andrea, more indepth than probably need-be, new movie releases, The Fan's Attic, Things too long to read.
14 comments

As the summer movie season rolls along, we here at DeadOn are committed to giving our readers critical, well-thought analysis because we don’t want you to waste your hard-earned money on bad movies, long lines and spending time with inordinate amounts of teenagers.  That and we can’t get enough of seeing our own words in the blogosphere.   We are bound and determined to be the eyes and ears for our readers….  Well, at least the eyes and ears for the 85 other writers on this website, who account for most of our readers. 

The big movie this week was Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World’s End starring Johnny Depp, Keira Knightley and Orlando Bloom.  And without further ado…

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Table For Two? Better Make It One Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Posted by Suss-- in (You Didn't) Ask DeadOn, athleticsupporter, BowdenBowdenBowden, CDNMoose, Clare, goathair, jerkwheat, JukeboxHero, Lady Andrea, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Lingering Bursitis, suss, svpimh, The Fan's Attic, undergroundBTO, Yostal.
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29 comments

Three day weekend? You better believe we all participated in some kind of cookout. Or, failing that, we at least ate some kind of food with our loved ones.

In one of the worst transitional nut grafs in (You Didn’t) Ask DeadOn’s brief history, we now bring you to this week’s question for the DeadOntourage:

What restaurant would cause you to break up with your significant other if they didn’t like eating there?

In actuality, no committed relationships were fractured in the making of this week’s installment. Any recent breakups are purely coincidental and we hold no responsibility for hearts broken.

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So Your Favorite Show Was Cancelled? Uncancel It Monday, May 21, 2007

Posted by Suss-- in athleticsupporter, Baba Oje, BowdenBowdenBowden, CDNMoose, Clare, gordonshumway, Holly/Magnolia, jerkwheat, JukeboxHero, Lady Andrea, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Lingering Bursitis, Precious Roy, Recently Cancelled TV shows, SA, suss, The Fan's Attic, tuffy, TV, undergroundBTO, Yostal.
37 comments

Time once again for the round table discussion that’s sweeping the nation — and until as our GED gets here in the mail, the floors at a Hardee’s near you — “(You Didn’t) Ask DeadOn.”

Most of our favorite TV shows have already gone through their season finale. And in some somber cases, series finale. Remember the last episode of Cheers? I was so sad when I saw it. Of course, I saw it on Nick at Nite years later, because the gravity of a sitcom set in a bar airing its final show didn’t really strike a 10-year-old the way it should.

In futile times like this, it’s best to pretend we have some kind of bureaucratic power over the television companies and give a slain show a chance. Which brings us to this week’s (You Didn’t) Ask DeadOn question:

“You can bring back one TV show from extinction for one more season. What do you pick?”

I hope I’m not ruining the suspense for anyone: Nobody said Caroline in the City. (more…)

You Never Forget Your First Album, Despite Best Efforts Monday, May 7, 2007

Posted by Suss-- in (You Didn't) Ask DeadOn, albums, athleticsupporter, Baba Oje, BowdenBowdenBowden, CDNMoose, Clare, Holly/Magnolia, jerkwheat, JukeboxHero, Lady Andrea, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, suss, svpimh, The Fan's Attic, undergroundBTO, Yostal.
45 comments

We here at DeadOn don’t purposely attempt to out-lame our fellow brethren and sistren. It just happens naturally, and rather often.

There’s no better Lame-O-Meter (hopefully pronounced “lame-AHM-uh-terr”) than one’s ownership of music and albums. Today one’s iPod nominally determines how often they should breed. But when we’re young and buy horrible music, it’s cute. Or something.

In the second installment of (You Didn’t) Ask DeadOn, the available suspects answer the pressing question of the first album (CD/tape/Victrola) they bought. It’s the perfect question to see where one’s taste began. They can try to lie (“Wait, no, the Friends soundtrack wasn’t my first album.”) but that first album is just unavoidable. We could lie, but nobody does that on the Internet.

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The Next Pussycat Doll Finale: Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in I know the suspense is killing you, maybe you should read a book instead, reality TV, The Fan's Attic, Things That May Suspend Your Man License.
15 comments

kitty_bidet.jpgThe end is nigh…for the first Search for the Next Pussycat Doll.  Although, I reckon, the existence of this show might be a sign The End for us is close at hand.  Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to write about this show every week, but I was informed that we had some activity in the comments section of my first post, so I thought I might provide a recap to the season and the season finale after the jump … (more…)

The Search For The Next Pussycat Doll: The Dolls Are Not About Sex?? Friday, March 16, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in The Fan's Attic, TV.
28 comments

This week I stumbled upon a show that could only be described as a steaming pile.  That show—Pussycat Dolls Present:  The Search For The Next Doll.  The wonderful girl group The Pussycat Dolls—singers (and I use that term very loosely) of such pop masterpieces as “Don’t Cha”, “Buttons” and “Stickwitu”—is looking for a new member and there is no better way to do this and make money than have a talent search on TV.

The Search is like any other reality TV talent show where aspiring singers/dancers are brought in and some finalists are selected to live in a house and compete.  All of this is filmed, the drama ensues and presto, whammo there is the show.  Nothing groundbreaking here but, there is great material in this show.  So, I am going to attempt to bring this material weekly to DeadOn or as long as I can stand watching this trainwreck.  And, by material, I don’t mean wanking material, merely just some great unintentional comedy.  Come journey with me into the Pussycat Lounge after the jump…  (more…)

Gilmore Girls: Disappointing Relationships Thursday, March 8, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in The Fan's Attic, Things That May Suspend Your Man License, TV.
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I missed last week’s Gilmore Girls recap because…well…I don’t really know why.  I guess I was just lazy.  Just to catch up with what happened last week I’ll give a quick recap.  Although, I must admit I am continually let down by the ability of the writers this season to create interesting stories that get developed.  Nothing seems to happen and each week is a self-contained episode with very little tying it to episodes before or after it.  Only now and then does an event occur that has any meaningful impact on the storyline. Enough kvetching, on to last week and then this week’s recap.

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Leaving in a Lexus: The OC Series Finale Friday, February 23, 2007

Posted by gordonshumway in gordonshumway, more indepth than probably need-be, Recently Cancelled TV shows, The Fan's Attic, The OC, Things I Wrote At My Real Job.
9 comments

Last night was it, the series finale of The OC, after four seasons, three school districts, two ridiculously understanding parents, and one unchanging expression on the face of Ryan Atwood. Watching the final episode was like watching competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi plow through a stack of hot dogs. You can’t believe how much shit is getting crammed in there and you have no idea where it’s all going to go. To help me make sense of it, I enlisted the help of The Fan’s Attic. So grab a hot dog and get in the U-Haul, because we’re all leaving Newport together.

The show begins with a title card reading “Six Months Later”. The entire Cohen family is now living with Raging Whore Julie Cooper and I hope they know better than to put the blankets near their faces. It’s the day before the Raging Whore’s wedding to–surprise–The Bullet because apparently her other boyfriend Kevin Sorbo as Hercules as Frank Atwood could prevent Zeus from smiting her but couldn’t do anything about the itching and burning. (more…)

Gilmore Girls Recap – Feb. 20, 2007 Thursday, February 22, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in guilty pleasures, The Fan's Attic, Things That May Suspend Your Man License.
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I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to anybody out there I convinced to watch Gilmore Girls last week. I highly doubt there was anybody who decided to watch on my account, but I still need to apologize. Most. Boring. Episode. Ever. (more…)

Movies to Avoid: Crank Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in movies, The Fan's Attic.
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5 comments

“Movies to Avoid” is, we hope, a semi-regular column reviewing movies that you should, by all intents and purposes, avoid seeing. You see, the authors are incredibly selfless people and will watch movies for you and tell you, when you shuffle along amid the videostore shelves or stare blankly at the theater schedule searching for a two-hour respite from life on Friday night, why this movie is worth neither your time nor money. To that end, any suspense found in the movie, unexpected turns and The Crying Game-type revelations will be spoiled because, as Wilford Brimley would say, “ It’s the right thing to do.”

 


Without further ado, this week’s movie is Crank, starring
Jason Statham.

 


This 2006 flick is supposed be a non-stop, heart-pumping action flick and for the most part it delivers nonstop action. On the other hand, the only thing that doesn’t give you action is a camera trained on an inanimate object for a long time.
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Gilmore Girls Recap – Commence Mocking…Now Thursday, February 15, 2007

Posted by The Fan's Attic in The Fan's Attic, Things That May Suspend Your Man License, TV shows.
6 comments

When I first drafted this post I had an eloquent explanation as to why I liked the Gilmore Girls and why I would ever admit it.  Upon further review, I realized it was just a weak attempt to avoid the constant mocking and taunting of others and if I can’t handle the heat I shouldn’t be in the kitchen or some stupid cliché like that then I shouldn’t post it.  So…mock away…take your potshots…that’s what this blog is for—mocking….  I can take anything you dish out because I am a man, “A manny, manny, man” and I have balls the size of watermelons. 

Let me just say I like the show.  I like the writing; I like the little nuggets of pop culture slipped in; and, I can relate to the show but not in a John Mark Karr way.  Just in a child of divorced parents, child of a young mother way.  And, I find Lauren Graham attractive.  Enough about me.  Let us journey on to the recap…

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