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All Roads Lead to DeadOn: Does the Fed adjust Schrutebuck interest rates? Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Posted by Will Li in Bloggers Gone Wild, BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, hatchet jobs, Holy crap, making enemies of nice people, Search Strings, the office.

I thought her luck ran out after the Friends series finale.  This is not a Great Movie You May Have Missed.

It’s been an interested week here at DeadOn. On May 10th, someone with the Fark handle Erotic Tangerines linked DeadOn’s running feature “The 20 Most Cromulent Simpsons Episodes of All Time: #15” in a Fark thread, which got us some nice traffic. Thank you, Erotic Tangerines, and may your sensual citrus-ness be blessed with eternal succulence.

That said, a couple of salacious searches aside, our traffic the past couple days has been dominated by two denominations. Follow me after the jump for some leprechaun to unicorn conversion rates.



All Roads Lead to DeadOn: Rom Zom Com Edition Monday, April 30, 2007

Posted by Will Li in BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, hatchet jobs, I need to stop drinking so much, just some poor attempts at humor, Search Strings.


*Player 2 Has Entered the Game*

Ed: Don’t you have work, man?

*Player 2 Has Left the Game*

Shaun: I wouldn’t if this sod didn’t stumble in last night, going on about some bint who got him ramped after the match.

*nudges motionless form on floor*

Motionless form: *snore*

Shaun: As such, it seems as I’ll be penning this piss-head’s weekly ‘net column.

Ed: It writes?

Pete, walking down stairs: About as much as you work, Ed.

Ed: Don’t be a prick.

Pete: What was that?

Ed: I said, your mother’s a spic.

Pete: Fuck-all, I haven’t got the time for this. Unlike present company, I have responsibilities. Make sure that one doesn’t chunder on the rug, is all I ask.

And someone left the front door open, again!

*Door Slams*


All Roads Lead to DeadOn: “Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate” Edition Monday, April 16, 2007

Posted by Will Li in "poetry", 7 deadly sins, BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, Search Strings.

Where Are the Sodomites Again?

So did my soul, that still was fleeing onward,
Turn itself back to re-behold the pass
Which never yet a living person left.

After my weary body I had rested,
The way resumed I on the desert slope,
So that the firm foot ever was the lower.

And lo! almost where the ascent began,
A panther light and swift exceedingly,
Which with a spotted skin was covered o’er!

And never moved she from before my face,
Nay, rather did impede so much my way,
That many times I to return had turned.


All Roads Lead to DeadOn: Bloody Mary Edition Monday, April 9, 2007

Posted by Will Li in BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, Search Strings.

It’s been a couple weeks since I wrote this column, and I apologize for being remiss in providing search-string related attempts at humor.

And unfortunately for this iteration of All Roads…, not to mention my liver, this Easter weekend has been three days of overeating and overdrinking, which is very pious of me. In any case, that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Hooray Hangover Bear!

Join me after the jump for Shakespeare, tits and trannies.


All Roads Lead to DeadOn: Dancing Bear(s) Edition Monday, March 19, 2007

Posted by Will Li in BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, making enemies of nice people, ncaa, Search Strings.

Since my bracket utterly busted yesterday when Wisconsin lost, I’ll be devoting this edition to what else, colleges (pre-jump picture to be explained later).


It was a slow week in searches, as most people were thinking about their brackets and the tournament. Still, we got some nice, random searches, like “asian guy who makes grillz,” “sliding tarp parties” (not to be confused with sliding larp parties or sliding tarp panties), and ” ‘300’ movie workout routines.” There’s an idea. Nothing makes you feel more physically inferior than a bunch of oiled-up Spartans – “THIS…IS…DEADLIIIIIFT!.”

After the jump, the two best searches we had this week, and my research into the sordid field of college nicknames.


All Roads Lead to DeadOn: “Trent Reznor’s 1978 Volvo 244GLE of Despair” Edition Monday, March 12, 2007

Posted by Will Li in bite the hand that feeds you, BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, Search Strings.

Pretty Hate Machine

Search Terms this week were fairly single minded – most people directed their attentions to our American Idol reviews, penned by Lady Andrea. In fact, the search “American Idol Results March 8” dominated searches this past Friday, the 9th.

Some were more focused than others, scouring the internets to find others who hated the same Idol contestants they did. These searches include “I hate Sunjaya,” “Where is Sunjaya getting votes from” and “Antonella sucks.”


All Roads Lead to DeadOn: “No buttplug (though pretty much everything else)” edition Monday, March 5, 2007

Posted by Will Li in BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, more indepth than probably need-be, Search Strings.

Oolong the Rabbit

Join me after the jump for a review of last week’s most sordid search strings. And some hot lagomorph action.


All Roads Lead to DeadOn Monday, February 26, 2007

Posted by Will Li in BowdenBowdenBowden, Elric, Japanese girls without panties, Search Strings, Things I Wrote At My Real Job.

Aside from links from popular sports blogs, word of mouth and individuals stalking our female contributors, how do people find their way to DeadOn? In this weekly feature (future installments will post on Monday mornings), I’ll cover the most random and most amusing search strings that led people to our little corner of the eBays.

Follow me, after the jump