The Hills – Season 5 Episode 5: I Always Had a Little Crush Monday, April 27, 2009Posted by Matt_T in the balls.
Tags: episode 5, lauren conrad, season 5, The Hills, THIS AIN'T REALITY TV
As promised last week the girls show up to crash the boys party. Brody is so relaxed by the pool he says he can’t open his eyes. And what do you know, the girls come around the corner. Brody wants to know why they are there. The girls say that they knew they’d miss them too much. Brody isn’t even mad, he was just curious why they came. Audrina suggests shots and Brody is more than happy to join in.
So BrodyBro and AnonoBro are surfing and Lo, LC and some other Bro decide to have a room party tonight. Steph calls Audrina out for checking out Brody, and Audrina says that JustinBobby texted her that morning. Audrina gets all emo about that for some reason. I’m over her and JustinBobby. Old news.
Spencer and Heidi are at the bookstore looking at relationship books. Heidi suggests a book called “Borders.” Heidi then says that her mom called and Colby her old high school boyfriend who goes to bible college is coming in town. Spencer is not happy about this, and Heidi says he’s a nice guy not like Stacie. Heidi thinks it will be good for Spencer for him to hang out with a nice guy. And all of this is silly since its been in the news that they got married for real this weekend. But for now we’ll keep pretending they haven’t yet.
Off to Hawaii and BrodyBro is checking out Audrina and complimenting her on how revealing it is. I’m sure she had that in mind. The gang watches the sun go down and Stephanie asks who is single, and makes sure that Brody knows that Audrina is. Brody knows that if Audrina meets a guy that blows JustinBobby away she’ll forget about JB.
Back to LA and lame Colby is bringing his girlfriend to meet Heidi and Spencer. Spencer says that the only reason he is there is because Colby goes to bible college so he thinks that Colby is still a virgin. LOLWUT. Heidi says not even that. Colby and his girlfriend show up and the first thing that she does is point out how different Heidi looks than in the pictures she saw of her and Colby. I wonder why that is? Heidi tries to change the subject and asks if they want cocktails. Spencer recommends Patron silver but Colby and his girlfriend don’t drink. They’ve never had a sip. Spencer is shocked and he asks about their hotel room. Colby says they have two rooms and Heidi and Spencer are shocked. Spencer laughs and says he had a subscription to Playboy since he was 14. That explains a lot. Colby snarks back with ‘the lord forgives.’ Spencer suggests that they go do some boxing tomorrow and he knows that Colby has some pent up aggression.
Back to Hawaii and Steph thinks that the boys are mad. Lauren says that they can’t be mad because the boys are going to dinner with them. Steph goes to get ready with Audrina. Steph thinks Brody is into her, but Audrina isn’t sure, she doesn’t think she would do anything. Steph says that if it were her, she’d be tired of shaking his hand and want to just kiss him. She then suggests that Audrina hook up with Brody to get JustinBobby back. What? That doesn’t make sense. How would that work at all? And I thought she was done with JB, and I know we had this storyline last year and the year before. Lazy writers, recycling scripts.
Spencer and Colby are at the gym and he Spencer doesn’t know how Colby does it. Colby says its not easy, he spends a lot of time with the Lord. Spencer is skeptical and he says that Colby could die a virgin. Colby says its possible. This whole awkward conversation is done while doing some sparring. Spencer wants to know if there are ‘more of them’ out there. He says talking with Colby is like talking to an Alien. He also wants to know exactly in the Bible where it says no having sex before marriage. Colby says he’ll get it back to him with that.
Back to Hawaii and Frankie notices that Audrina is into Brody. He talks to Steph about it and as they’re talking Audrina and Brody are cooing at each other. Somebody yells out get a room and Audrina says that she can’t lie she’s always had a little crush. Everyone looks a little stunned at the revelation.
Colby and Ashley the girlfriend are over at Speidi’s place and Ashley has the verse for Spencer. The four of them are reading their bibles. Colby reads the verse for Spencer and Spencer says it doesn’t say no sex before marriage. Colby reads another verse and its about forgiveness. Ashley says it would be great if everyone got along. Spencer says that is a make believe land.
The gang is at a Luau and they do the usual who wants to get leeid joke. And of course Audrina gets a lei. NickBro tells Brody that Audrina was right there for him. Brody says don’t get me wrong she’s hot, but he only has eyes for his girlfriend. He says he’s just friends with Audrina. Frankie says that Audrina wants more than that. Meanwhile Audrina sneaks off and calls JB, just as she starts to talk to him BrodyBro comes up and she tells JB she’ll call him back. Brody says it was a guys trip, and he was excited to see her. He doesn’t want her to be awkward. Brody then says she’s a great girl, she’s sweet, but not now. But wait, he says that maybe someday if no one else is around then ‘feelings are feelings’ Nice, Brody. Basically, you won’t hookup with her because your friends would know and your girlfriend would know. But you’ll hookup with Audrina if no one knows. Nice.
LC wakes up and Lo is already up. She tells LC that Audrina stayed in Brody’s room last night. LC says to go wake up Stephanie. Steph comes out with some nice bedhead. Lo and LC tell her to spill the beans, but Steph doesn’t know anything.
Heidi and Spencer are having lunch. And Spencer says he’s glad that Heidi brought Colby there, because now he knows what kind of guy she needs. Heidi disagrees, she just wants Spencer to have some of the traits that Colby has, like being nice to her family. Spencer says that he’s going to be just like boring Colby. Heidi asks for the check, because clearly Spencer hasn’t learned anything. Well I guess he’s learned something since then, since you know, Heidi got married to him this weekend.
Back to Hawaii where Sleazy T(! Sleazy T BRO!) and Frankie are relaxing. BrodyBro comes out of his room finally. Doug says that he was up early to go surfing and he spied Audrina leaving Brody’s room wearing his bathingsuit. Brody plops down in the hammock and says he messed up. He cheated on his girlfriend. The other bros go OMG. They want to know if Jade will be upset. Nah brah, she’s cool with it. Of course she’ll be upset says Brody. Probably more now that the whole country knows. Back to the girls room and Lo thinks that nothing happened, they were just drunk and passed out. Steph wants to know if they should tell Jade. Steph, always wanting to get in the middle. LC says that’s not their place, but hey Audrina’s up and awake. And so tired. Steph asks where she slept and Audrina says Brody’s duhhhhh. LC says there’s only one bed and Audrina just raises an eyebrow. The girls want to know what JustinBobby would think. Audrina says of course he won’t be happy. The girls warn her that Jade is going to be pissed and start a war. Audrina doesn’t care, if she wants a war she’ll get it. Groan.