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American Idol Roundtable – Top 10 Recap Thursday, March 26, 2009

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, Bring On The Rapture, comedy, DeadOn Round Table, DougOLis, guilty pleasures, JB*, jerkwheat, matt_T, shitty music, TV.
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We’ve survived yet another Motown week on Idol, and once again, nobody was tragically murdered while in the D. Heartbreaking, I know. As always, your Roundtable is here to discuss the events of last night with the usual detailed run-down on what transpired. The usual formatting errors and shenanigoats await you after the jump…

Matt_T:
Another week and another somewhat surprising lack of trainwreckness.

Matt – Let’s Get it On: He was alright, but this was kind of boring. The judges overly praised it, but it was definitely good enough to stick around.

Kris – How Sweet It Is: I cannot hear this song without thinking about Oz in American Pie. So that’s what I got from this. Cheesy dude singing a classic. Same as Matt, good but boring. He’ll be safe.

Scott – You Can’t Hurry Love: Well the wardrobe people punkd the blind guy. Pink pants? Scott commented it that he was a male doing a Supremes song so he had to do it well. Uh Scott, Phil Collins did this song and he smashed it. You did not. This was super boring, It hit me last night and I said it in the live blog, but Scott is Taylor Hicks 2.0. The kind of guy your parents would like. I’m sure Idol doesn’t want another winner like that. Scott will be in the bottom 3.

Megan Joy – For Once in my Life: I didn’t think Megan sang that bad the past few weeks, but this week was bad. She missed a lot of notes, and it was just a weird rendition. She was gorgeous as always, but it doens’t seem like she’s taking this seriously (I don’t blame her though) She’ll be in the bottom 3.

Anoop – Oooh Baby Baby: ANOOOOOOP did the damn thing on this. It was subtle and he sounded great. That’s how you do a classic.

Fat Dale Jr – Ain’t Too Proud to Beg: I barely remember this performance. He’s got a good voice, but nothing about him stands out. Its hard to be too critical though, he’s so darn nice. But that won’t keep him out of the bottom 3.

Lil Rounds – Heatwave: Ah time for this weeks performance that I liked that the judges were overly harsh on. It was a little fast, but still her voice is made for motown and it showed.

Adam – Tracks of my Tears: Oh jeez. Well he ‘cleaned up’ and worse a suit, and slicked the hair back. Nice try Adam, but this was so indulgent and terrible. Its so manufactured and planned out. Oh and Randy appears to have no idea what indie means. Here’s a hint Randy, if someone is on Idol, they aren’t indie. It even looked like he was trying to cry at the end. Unfortunately he’ll be around. And if not, the judges will save him.

Danny – Get Ready: My favorite performance of the night. It actually feels like Danny is performing rather than ‘singing on Idol’ when he’s on stage. Danny should stick with the uptempo songs, it works a lot better for him.

Allison – Papa was a Rolling Stone: 2nd best performance of the night. Allison killed it. She sounded absoutely fantastic. Good to see a nice performance from her after last week.

I’ve got Megan, Scott and Fat Dale Jr in the bottom 3. Unfortunately I think we say good bye to Megan this week.

DougOLis:

Matt – Fine I guess but I didn’t particularly care for the falsetto. Sounded like what Justin Timberlake might to do to it as a joke. Too high and it lost the deep sexiness of the song. I did not want to get it on with him after he finished.

Kris – I don’t really mind his interpretation. It was a bit repetitive (and boring) and too Jack Johnson for my tastes but it wasn’t bad. His voice was solid on it.

Scott – His voice was pretty flat, but it was the first week I didn’t hate him. If his voice was better it could have been good, but I guess you could say that about anyone.

Megan – Felt cheap for some reason. Her voice was slightly off-putting to me. It was fun I guess and she looked hot as always but if I was blind she’d be gone. I think she was speaking to me when she said “vote for me guys” and gave the thumbs up. Swoon.

Anoop – sexiest performance of the night. He nailed that shit. His voice wasn’t quite perfect but he was the best so far.

Fat Dale Jr. – I thought this week would be rough for him and he did better than I expected but it still wasn’t great. His voice was fine but on a whole it was blah and it definitely lacked something.

Lil – It wasn’t quite what I was expecting and hoping out of her. It wasn’t bad by any means but it was lacking. I agreed with Kara on the screaming part; she should have gone low and slow.

Adam – Emo boy has gone greaser. This was pretty damned good. His falsetto was spot on and he really brought through the emotion of the song. Doing that in front of Smokey himself had to be a bitch and he nailed it.

Danny – I expected him to be the best on the night, and it was very good but he’s extremely dorky. His voice might be the best this season and it was great when listening with my eyes closed.

Allison – cool and it sounded like it was coming from someone much older than her. That last note to close out the show should save her. I didn’t think it was as amazing as the judges did but it rocked and was good.

Top 3 – Adam, Allison, and Anoop with Adam FTW
Bottom 3 – Matt, Megan, and Scott with Megan to go (tear)

JB:

Every week, it seems the Idol producers try to top themselves with the opening and the schmaltzy gratuitousness. They may have set a new bar this week, with the judges’ intro, Seacrest’s descent on the Billie Jean staircase, and the Motown introduction (an assembly line of music? Henry Ford is offended!), Plus, for some reason the camera focuses on Scott staring at a wall in the Motown studios. Classy.

TimberBubbles
Ah, a giant piano for TimberBubbles to start out behind for “Let’s Get It On”. This promises to be awkward, and it does not fail to succeed. Despite kicking out from the piano after the first few lines, he hits his little high note thing a few times too many and just desensualizes the song. Well, it is only a song called “Let’s Get It On”. Despite that, the judges love him, like always.

Kris Allen
Guitar in hand, he sings all about “How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)”. A safe choice, well-suited for the guitar, and I realize tonight he has the same basic moves during every performance – squint, scrunch face, raise eyebrows, go wide-eyed and sing as if all passionately. Judges praise him, as do I. Just not as much as Fatboy Slim does you.

Also – Mrs.JB* is convinced he looks like an actor, which I mentioned during the LiveBlog, and some of my cohorts here agree. But none of us can place who – any ideas?

Scott MacIntyre
This is just mean – he wears a pink paisley shirt and pink pants, covered by a gray suit jacket. He even tells us that wardrobe didn’t tell him the pants were pink until ten minutes before. His performance of “Can’t Hurry Love” was just weird – slower than it needed to be to make a smash, slightly too fast to be good. But he had his own version of the Ray Charles girls behind him at the piano, which made for some movement, to Paula’s applause.

Megan Joy
This was another just flat out weird performance. She was all bubbly and personality-driven, but her teal off-the-shoulders, higher cut dress (which Idol did not really let us see, keeping the camera pegged on her shoulders and head, much to the dismay of all fans of bewbs) had fish on it, it looked like. And she was in pink shoes. And she kept trying to dance, which does not go well for her. She even tried to make her way out around the judges, but she sounded off-key, rushed, and just plain bad. The judges were brutally honest on her, and Simon said she was in real danger. For the third time tonight, Paula talked about domination. She seemed alternately ready to cry and very strong in saying her fans would vote for her. DialIdol did not seem ready to agree.

Anoop Desai
This was an understated, collected, soulful, and great performance of “Ooh Baby Baby”. Like Abraham taking Isaac to the altar, Anoooooooooooooooooooooooooop brought it and was ready to kill. The only problem is that by nailing this particular song, it was almost not memorable – I don’t recall this performance as well as most of the others, which is a shame. If he had been in the first or second spot, he may have been really damaged.

Fat Dale, Jr
Jerkwheat coins the nickname of the year again. Look, Sarver is not a big performer – he is good, not great; he sings well, but not overpowering; he has some charm, but not enough to make him a Sanjaya-like threat. He repeated several times he was going to “church up” “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg”, but no one seems to know what that means, including him. If he is not Bottom Three, then the world is gone wacky.

Lil Rounds
This is to be her night, and contrary to the judge’s opinions, I think she did wonderful in performing “Heatwave”. Could she have been better? Sure. Would a different song been more memorable? Yes. Did she miss out, as Simon said, on creating “A Moment”, like David Cook’s “Hello” last year? Definitely. Should she really be torn apart for not living up to the absurdly high expectations people hoped for? No. Have I become a question talker? Evidently, so this needs to end.

Adam Lambert
Crap.
Caca.
Poo.
Shit.
Self-indulgent, look at me, see how I can “shock you” by looking nice and scrubbed down rendition of “Tracks of My Tears”. It’s the Archuleta Hypocrisy – after telling people constantly to make songs their own, Adam performs a true-to-original performance and gets his knob slobbered all over.

Danny Gokey
The guy can perform, there is no doubt about it. He should make it to the Finals, barring some mishap along the way, and even if there is I assume the judges would save him. His performance of “Get Ready” was energetic and his best of the year. I do have to agree with Matt, though – I think Danny is the most Taylor Hicks-esque performer, down to sounding very similar. We can fight at the bike racks if need be.

Alison Iraheta
She’s sixteen years old. Sixteen! Did you know she was only sixteen years old? Because if not, you should know she is only sixteen, and no sixteen year old should be able to sing like this sixteen year old does, because a sixteen year old doesn’t know things beyond her sixteen years. Or so the judges would let you believe. I think I missed a few references to her age, actually. Anyway, performing in the pimp spot, “Papa Was A Rolling Stone” is one of the best performances of the night. She should go from Bottom Three to Top Three.

Closing
We’re in a weird place this year – every performer is so different that every week is going to be part train-wreck, part night of glory. And because of that, Idol keeps filling with judge pandering, jokes, and Seacrest smugness.

If the Bottom Three is anything but Megan, Scott, and Fat Dale Jr, I’d be shocked. Of the three, Fat Dale Jr probably deserves to go most, but it may end up being Megan, unless the verbal beating she took from the judges gets her some sympathy.

Jerkwheat:

Tragically I’m running low on time for my recap, but I will say this:

Megan was probably the worst of the night. Poor, sweet, off-key bewbs. Alison is starting to look like she might upset the producers plans to have an inevitable Gokey, Rounds, Lambert Final 3. Fat Dale Jr was average yet again, but will probably be spared the hook. Adam Lambert makes me hate him more with each performance. Randy has no idea what an “indie” is.

Bottom 3 – Bewbs. Fat Dale. Scott.

Going home? Bewbs.

In Conclusion:

Our Bottom Three is pretty much unanimous and I’d be shocked if its not Megan Joy or Fat Dale, Jr. leaving us this week. So be prepared to say goodbye to someone else. We’re never right. Ask our wives.

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Comments»

1. DougOLis - Thursday, March 26, 2009

So I guess I’m the only one who liked Adam then.

I was also the only one who had Matt in the bottom three instead of Michael, but that final spot was a tossup for me. I went with Matt because he ruined the integrity of the song while Michael at least tried.

@Matt_T: Scott isn’t near anywhere talented enough to be Taylor Hicks; at least Hicks had a good voice. I like JB*’s comparison to Danny better.

2. JB - Thursday, March 26, 2009

Doug – the singing was solid, but the performance overall was diminished by the look and evident self-indulgence of him trying to “prove himself” and “shock” us. That Ryan told us as much – “you think you know adam lambert?” made it that much more over-the-top.

3. Matt_T - Thursday, March 26, 2009

JB nailed it. Its all about image with Adam. I wasn’t fond of the singing either, that whole big note and falsetto thing. It just seems SO fake.

I went with Scott as Hicks 2.0 because he seems to be more geared towards the old folks. Gokey definitely has those Hicksian qualitis too, but he does have at least some commercial appeal.

4. Trixi - Friday, March 27, 2009

Hey I’m not old and I’m a Hicks fan!!

5. Joe - Saturday, March 28, 2009

Megan Joy is definitely cute… and i suspect that’s the main thing keeping her in the running


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