jump to navigation

American Idol Roundtable – Top 13 Performance Show Recap Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, DeadOn Round Table, DougOLis, JB*, jerkwheat, matt_T, more indepth than probably need-be, Things too long to read, THIS AIN'T REALITY TV.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
trackback

Hello, all. I know that you’ve missed the roundtable with all of your hearts and souls, haven’t you? Did you join us for the impromptu live-blog last night? Of course not! Because we did it on a whim with no promotion! HUZZAH! Oh the quips and platitudes that you missed out on! Lucky for you, we’re back with the American Idol Roundtable this year and, like Idol itself, we’ve made some changes to the panel. We’d like to welcome long-time commenter and recent recapper DougOLis to the fold. HI DOUG! So, if you’re a masochist that likes things that go on too long (and since you watch Idol, you likely are) join us after the jump for the breakdown of the Top 13 Performance Show.

JB*

All righty… here we go. After the normal faux-dramatic Seacrest opening, I get the glimpse of Carly that will have to last me for the year in the opening (still featuring last year’s performers).

Rather than recapping every detail of the performers, like was done last year, I’m going to try and hit the highlights of the performances (with snarky comments filled in where applicable) where, tonight, they feature the Music of Michael Jackson. It still amazes me no other album has approached Thriller in terms of sales.

Lil Rounds

Our resident Mary J. Blige wanna-be opens the show with “The Way You Make Me Feel” and sets the bar quite high, though I didn’t think one should wear white pants until Memorial Day, least of all with a giant pink chiffon flower-bow over the left shoulder. She captures the rhythm of the song, killing with vocals and re-making it her own R&B sound, versus the original pop version. The judges fell over themselves with praise, and she is definitely the best we’ve seen to this point of the night.

Scott MacIntyre

The Inspirational Story Surely Surviving Sometime (TISSS, TM American Idol) is sitting behind the piano performing “Keep the Faith”, obviously an inspired and relevant choice to him. He is not bad, but not great, and the crowd gives him a standing ovation – that didn’t take long. Simon raises a point we’re probably going to harp on throughout the season – he criticized him for choosing a song no one knows, but later on they will criticize someone for picking obvious choices that are too signature and no one should touch.

Wow – thirty minutes in and only two performances.

Danny Gokey

Danny’s choice is song I honestly do not recall – “PYT”, for Pretty Young Thing, displaying some high notes before turning into a young Taylor Hicks. Much like The Soul Patch Patrol, Paula is dancing in her feathered outfit. It was fun, but Paula’s declaration that he would go to the Finals is a BIT premature.

Michael Sarver

The roughneck oil rigger busts out “You Are Not Alone”, giving us our first seated start of the season. He clearly should be on Nashville Star, since he almost sounds Rascal Flatts-ish (not a compliment from me). Though the crowd goes squee, I am not that impressed with a Michael Bolton treatment – big vocals, holding long notes.

Jasmine Murray

The seventeen year old that I am almost certain got through because, as Kara called her multiple times, she was an extremely attractive package talent, says “I’ll Be There”. Despite it being Michael Jackson night, she gives it more of a Mariah Carey treatment. Cute outfit, great hair, nailed the closing note, but this felt a notch off throughout. I can’t quite explain it outside of “pitchy, dawg”, but that’s just a gut reflex. Why does it seem everyone is hitting the closing note but missing other parts?

Kris Allen

The Arkansas boy has his guitar in hand wants you to “Remember the Time”. What I remember about this song is it was a video with Magic Johnson and Jackson dressed as Egyptians. Kris has done the best of putting his own spin to the song. I actually really enjoyed it. He obviously was not going to do a true re-performance, so his arrangement suits him. Though I don’t think we got anything out of the guitar soundwise, so I am going to bet it is a crutch for him. Added bonus – we get to see Kris look very awkward when Paula says he is adorable sexy.

Alison Irahaeta

Our teenage rocker performs “Given to Me”. She is clearly this year’s Amanda Overmeyer. She knows her niche is bluesy-voiced rocker, and while it sounds great, it is going to get really, really old. Her take on the song is nothing like Michael Jackson’s, but she makes it work quite well. Too bad we’ll all be begging for her to be smothered with a pillow after she does it two more times.

Anoop Desai

The beneficiary of the lucky thirteenth spot, he absolutely butchers “Beat It”. After just the first line of lyrics, Mrs.JB* called it a karaoke hack job. The judges pretty much agreed, with Simon going so far as to say he regretted adding the thirteenth spot.

Jorge Nuñez

His performance of the Jackson 5’s “Never Can Say Goodbye” is completely… just there. There is nothing that stands out to it, either good or bad. Kara pretty much nails it, saying there is no real connection of him to the song or us to the performer. Everyone harps on him for being old-fashioned with the choice, too.

Megan Joy Corkrey

The perky, upbeat, tatted blonde from Utah sings “Rockin’ Robin”. She tries to dance and just sort of shakes body parts out of sequence. It is almost like she remembers she has to dance after singing, since she only seems to move when out of a verse. She then screams “caw” after completing the song, which busted me out laughing. I adore her personality and think she sounds good, but this was not a good choice – it came across as a high school talent show performance.

Adam Lambert

I’ve already decided I am not going to like this guy. He’s way too polished, too perfect, too stage-mommed. I guess this shouldn’t be a surprise since he has touring performance experience from Wicked. The skinny jean, dark hair swept over the eye, black nail polish look is just too much for me. Now, kids – get off my lawn! Anyway, he performs “Black or White”. Vocally, he should clearly be a front runner. Voting wise, he is doomed after the Top 5 or so. I guess I’ll just have to get used to him.

Matt Giraud

Hey, it is another piano player, trying for a Justin Timberlake look in a jaunty hat! He performs “Human Nature” in a way that is suitable for getting near the close of the show – he gets it done, a bit pitchy, let’s rush through this to make sure we make time.

Alexis Grace

Another Memphis performer, she performs “Dirty Diana” from Bad. She is funky, what with a streak of pink in her hair. She’s soulful and naughty sounding, and I think everyone can feel it. Much like Megan, she cannot really dance, having more of an awkward pop-and-lock walk going. Performance was good though.

Before running down the recaps, Ryan makes an announcement that they are changing the way winners are decided… but leaves it very cryptic. Simon’s comment is that it involves the judges, so we just have to tune in tomorrow.

Thoughts

I know this a contest for a recording contract, but Kara must have mentioned the radio five or six times.

I also realized – when Kara talks, I hear Drew Barrymore. Not that it is a bad thing.

Does American Idol really expect their target demo to be the same people looking to buy a Dyson?

Why the hell are the Osbournes back on television?

Closing

It was pretty much what we should have expected – a lot of short performances and some rough patches from nerves.

Bottom Three should be Anoop, Jorge, and Michael, with Anoop and Michael going home. I figure we’ll have a better idea of voting fan bases after tomorrow – plus, we’ll get to see Kanye and Kelly Clarkson.

Matt_T:

Lil Rounds I thought she did a fantastic job.  Tough spot being the opener, I had to rewind just to remember her performance.  Hopefully that doesn’t hurt her.  She has a lot of potential.  He and Paula were dressed similar, which was odd.

Scott MacIntyre – Wise choice going with the piano, but I wasn’t too impressed with his performance.  He missed a few notes, and it was boring, but people will vote for him.  Also it makes me uncomfortable how often the judges say SEE when they are talking about him.

Danny Gokey I love Pretty Young Thing, and Danny did a great job with it.  This was my favorite performance of the night.  He was a little spastic on stage, but he sounded great.  I think Paula’s final declaration was premature too, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it came true.

Michael Sarver Yawn.  I’m not a fan of this song, or his performance.  He’s just bland and seems ill fitted for AI.  I agree with JB* he has that Nashville Star pop country thing going.

Jasmine Murray – Another boring performance.  She missed quite a few notes too.

Kris Allen This year’s Jason Castro, except more talented and less stoned.  He did a good job with remember the time, and the ladies are going to love him.  He reminded me of Howie Day, and Randy said he was Jason Mraz-y.  Same difference.

Alison Irahaeta – I completely agree with JB* here.  She did well, but that voice is going to get old fast.  She did a good job with a song I didn’t know too well.

Anoop Desai – I have to disagree with JB* and the judges here.  I thought it was a decent performance.  Obviously not great, but the judges were extremely harsh towards hiim.  Its clear Simon didn’t want to include him in the finals, but Anoop did well with the criticism.  I think he’ll be back.

Jorge NuñezAnother boring nondescript performance.  Nothing stood out, good or bad.

Megan Joy CorkreyAs the Hold Steady sings “She hung a sleeveless dress on a sleeved up lifestyle.”  I have a new crush, but I don’t think the voting population is going to be too keen on her sleeve that she displayed.  Also, the song was one of the worst choices I can remember.  She sounded fine, but that song choice was too bad.  Why not Smooth Criminal?

Adam Lambert – I already don’t like this guy.  He’s like every emo stereotype wrapped up into one.  He has a good voice, but he does way too much with it, his stage presence is over done, he’s like a horny cat running around the stage screetching.  He does have a good voice and the ladies will love himm since he’s ‘sensitive’

Matt Giraud It was wise for Matt to use the piano.  Decent performance, but nothing really stood out again.

Alexis Grace My second performance of the night.  She actually seemed like a performer, not just someone auditioning on Idol.  This was the perfect song for her, she nailed it with the voice and performance.  Love the pink hair too.

Thoughts

I am very curious to see how they are changing it.  Way to get me to watch the entire recap show Ryan.  Very smart.
Jerkwheat had the line of the live glog during Alexis’s performance “YALL MY PUSSY’S HANGING OUT”

Closing

I think the bottom 3 will be Jasmine, Jorge and Michael with Jasmine and Michael going home.

Jerkwheat:

Lil Rounds – very good, as I expect from her. I think she’s probably a
lock for the Top 3, but Idol has a history of upsets with our talented
African American ladies. Also, MEMPHIS REPRESENT WHAT WHAT

Scott MacIntyre – I didn’t SEE anything special here tonight. Nothing
awful about it though really and he’ll probably sail through.

Danny Gokey – I might be starting to warm to Gokey, but I still want
dude to get a less aggressively hip pair of glasses. “PYT” is a great
song though, so bonus points for song choice.

Michael Sarver – I missed most of this one trying to get the
failtastic liveglog started last night. I just don’t think there’s
that much invested in the fella and he’ll be gone by the Top 10 if not
tonight.

Jasmine Murray – I really don’t see why she made it this far. Never
have. Never will. Unimpressive and I think she’s gone.

Kris Allen – I, too, am a native Arkansas so I can’t actively root
against this guy. Except that he’s a southern churchy and I usually
have some slight philosophical differences. But he was good last night
and he’s probably gonna be hanging around for a while this year.

Allison Irahaeta – Miss Junior Hot Topic 2009. I like Allison, but I’m
not sure I like her in an Idol setting. We’re she leading her own band
of rag-tag power punk-pop musicians, I’d be sold like a teenage girl
in South Asia.

ANOOOOOOOP – Totally disagreed with the judges. I think Anoop brings a
sense of joy that is otherwise missing from a lot of this years
contestants. He was channeling a Desi John Mayer up there last night.
Or something equally offensive.

Jorge Nunez – He might eventually win me over due to the tilde. But
for now he’s bland and boring and unless PR can vote like the
Hawaiians did back in the day, I think he’s run will be short.

Megan Joy Corkery – The sleeve tattooed girl is going to be the new
“country girl” as Idol moves towards the modern age. She’s a lovely
lass to be sure (although I still prefer Carly as my tatted love) and
her performance was meh and the song choice was worse. Plus, if you
aren’t as good as Carly was, the tats might turn away the young girls
and grannies vote. Put it could bring in the tranny vote.(?)

Adam Lambert
– Would have won this thing (and has with the judge
already it seems) if this was Broadway Showtune Idol. If there’s an
ALW week again this year, I’m tuning out. I’ve accepted that he’s
going to make a Top 3 run and there is nothing to be done about it.
Let’s enjoy the shitshow.

Matt Giraud – He’s there. That’s about all I can say for Timberlite.
He doesn’t wow me. He doesn’t bug me. He’s just there. That’s probably
good enough for now.

Alexis Grace
– MEMPHIS REPRESENT WHAT WHUUUUT. I have three
locality-based rooting interest this year. I need help. Alexis was
good enough and cute enough to keep on keeping on.

Ultimately, I think we lose Michael and Jasmine tonight. And that’s
probably who it should be. Expect it to all go wrong. As it always
does.

DougOLis:

Lil – Randy was wrong; she did not make it new. That sounded 80s all the way but it was still good. What was she wearing? Doing her best Bjork meets Molly Ringwald?

Scott – He was alright. A little flat and pretty boring. Simon gets a +1 for the “don’t be artistic on this show” line.
Danny – dude brought it. Well done there.
Michael – He looks like Chase Headley on the Padres. Has a few weird vocal tendencies but it wasn’t bad. Solid performance at least.
Jasmine – I dunno; I wasn’t really feeling it (performance or vocals). Props for doing a tough song but she didn’t nail it.
Kris – uggghhhhh. It was good but I hated it. He’s going to be fine until like the top 5 with his looks.
Allison – I don’t know what that’s called when she holds and flutters her voice, but it’s a crutch and I absolutely hate it.
Anoop – he doesn’t have the vocal range for the highs. I thought the judges were a bit harsh, but yeah, he probably should have done something else.
Jorge – he creeps me the fuck out, which I guess is good on Michael week.  Blahh perfromance. Simon gets another +1. And yeah, it was kind of corny.
Megan – ridiculously hooooooottttt and my crush for the year. Strange song choice and wtf ending. It was fun and not totally bad though.
Adam – welcome emo boy. Cool spin on the song and he has a ridiculous vocal range. I kind of hate him but the performance was Marshawn.
Matt – what up Justin Timberlake. Good. Don’t know what else to say.
Alexis – rocked the pimp spot. Best girl of the night by far.
My bottom 3 for tonight are: Scott, Allison, and Jorge. If it’s 4 add in Jasmine I guess. I send Scott and Allison home tonight.
Advertisements

Comments»

1. Jerkwheat - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I’m glad to see that inconsistent fonts problem has also rejoined the Roundtable for this year. WELCOME BACK INCONSISTENT FONTS!

2. Jerkwheat - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My amazing grammar has also returned. But, then again, it never left.

3. Matt_T - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

WHY DID NO ONE SING SMOOTH CRIMINAL?

DAMMIT

4. Rockabye - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Is Rockabye gonna have to choke some HTML?

5. Jerkwheat - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Meh, it’s just what happens when I don’t have time to clean it all up in a word doc before posting. It builds character and puts hair on the chest.

6. Rockabye - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I’m going to fix it. But I’m actually writing something (for this site, too!) right now, and I’ll be switching computers in a moment. So give me an hour.

7. Jerkwheat - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Really, it’s no big deal. People would be confused if one of these posts looked proper and as if it was written by literate educated folk.

8. DougOLis - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Apparently I am the Skip Bayless of this group.

My DVR cut-off the show before Seacrest said anything about the voting changes, so I had no idea that was happening. They’re actually pretty lucky they barely got in Alexis’ # because that was damned close to where it got cutoff. She would have been fucked and Fox would have had some angry parents on their hands.

9. DougOLis - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Yeah, Rockabye, we love the post for who she is. Who do you think we are, legitimate bloggers?

10. Rockabye - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I just want to try to make sure that we don’t get the entirely bold front page like we’ve done before.

11. Jerkwheat - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

the all bold just shows that we are passionate

12. Rockabye - Wednesday, March 11, 2009

GO READ THAT OTHER POST AND LAVISH IT WITH COMMENTS AS YOU WOULD IF IT HAD KARA DIOGUARDI.

That’s passion.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: