30 Rock 3.13 – Goodbye, Friend Monday, March 9, 2009Posted by The Bad One in 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One.
Tags: 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One
Frank asks Liz if she wants to go out to a bar with the guys where the waiters dress like ninjas, but Liz has doughnut-based plans. She’s in for some frustration eating about the adoption process. Meanwhile, Jenna is peeved that her Diaper Chicken sketch was cut. She should be more annoyed that she hasn’t had a decent storyline since she Joplined out. Her frustration will be expressed through the medium of imaginary injuries.
Jack is wandering the halls of 30 Rock. He’s avoiding his usual haunts to avoid temptation while Elisa is down in Puerto Rico. He spots the group of guys (Hey, Josh! Long time, no see!) and his problems are solved.
Pete and Liz are hitting up a Dunkinesque establishment. Becca, the heavily-pregnant girl behind the counter, is conducting a fight with her boyfriend Tim via voicemail. As Becca shuffles off to get their respective dozens, Liz is quick to note the adoption brochures sitting on the counter. Liz: “Should you be working the night shift alone like this?” Becca: “It’s fine. They gave me a gun.” When Liz decides to get her dozen doughnuts to stay, Pete notes the crazy eyes and quickly leaves.
Jack and the guys are out at the bar. He asks them all what their dads say they do. Answers: Surgeon1, optometrist2, died3. Frank never really knew his father, so he lies to himself that he’s a space assassin. Jack commisserates about having a disappearing dad. Frank promised himself he’d do something to restore the glory of the Rossitano name. Frank: “In Sicilian dialect, it means ‘well-poisoner.'” Jack: “In Gaelic, Donaghy means ‘dung bastard’.” He busted his hump at SUNY and got in at Fordham law, but had to drop out following his first semester when his mom got sick. Jack invites the gang back to his place to watch movies.
Meanwhile, at Krazy Kreme, Becca is describing to Liz her boyfriend’s disappearing act once she told him about the pregnancy. Liz has a He’s Just Not That Into You moment over all the ways guys nowadays can use technology to ignore a woman. She asks Becca what her plan is when the baby comes, but Becca has not found her Juno-perfect scenario. Becca: “I just don’t feel comfortable with any of the people. They all just seem really old and weird. Not one of them knew who Nee-Yo is.” Liz mumbles along to something that might be a song, and Becca is so eager that Liz gets full credit.
At Jack’s house, they’ve arrived at the point in Harry and the Hendersons where John Lithgow has to yell at Harry to make him go back to the forest. He and Frank continue their bonding over the scene, and Jack references a similar one in Shane Jack: “Maybe it’s because we didn’t have fathers. Maybe that’s why we’re drawn to movies where the father-figure pushes away the child/legendary North American forest ape.”
The next day, Kenneth is updating his lists and he goes to Tracy to find out his birthday. Due to his birth at Yankee Stadium he has no birth certificate. In his subsequent travels among foster families, nobody bothered to throw him a party. Tracy: “I don’t need a birthday, because I buy myself all the presents I need. And because of my drinking, they’re often a surprise.” Kenneth is still sad that Tracy never had one.
Jack enters Frank’s office the next day to talk more about Frank’s law school past. He made some phone calls, and Frank has the opportunity to resume his studies at Columbia on a full scholarship. Jack: “Make your mother proud, Frank. Make your father hate any new children he might have.”
Jack leaves Frank and meets Becca coming through the writers’ room with her guitar. Becca: “Excuse me–” Jack: “Oh god, please don’t be a daughter I didn’t know about.” He’s relieved to dodge that bullet. Liz has hired her as a youth consultant, the better to subtlely work her way into Becca’s baby-bestowing graces.
Jenna presents Kenneth with a picture of the dress she’ll be wearing to her upcoming birthday party, instructing him to make sure no one else wears the same thing. Kenneth is more interested in combining her party with one for Tracy. She expresses her rage through fake joy.
Becca and Liz are talking more about the Tim situation, Liz using an Urban Dictionary-like site to translate Becca’s slang. Becca’s trying to decide whether to go back to Tim and keep the baby or give it up and focus on her music. She grabs her guitar to belt out a terrible song that is at least a decade too late for any success. Liz stops her. Liz, pointing to her eyes: “Tears.”
Pete scolds Liz for encouraging Becca in her awful music. “Becca’s never going to make it with those songs!” Liz: “Says who? Being terrible has never presented success in the music business. Look at Biz Markie or The Doors.” Hey, leave Biz out of this. Pete tells her that he ran away all 5 times his wife got pregnant, but he always came back. “And when my caveman brain saw those babies with their little Hornberger foreheads, it clicked.” He thinks she needs to give Tim that chance.
Liz walks into her office to find Becca eating baby food. Since a baby gets all its food from the mother, you have to give it what it likes. Juno32 on her pregnant teen forum is a brilliant troll. Liz’s plan actually works, as Becca ponders how Liz is smart, successful, grounded, dressed like a mom… “It’s not the right time for me to have a family, but is that something you’d want?” Becca is overjoyed and makes Liz sing with her.
Kenneth has the surprise party organized and waiting as Tracy, Grizz, and Dotcom enter. As Tracy accepts their birthday wishes, Jenna revels that she can enter now as the headliner. Then Frank, in a suit and with slicked-back hair, reveals that he’s heading off to Columbia. More applause. Jenna steps in. Just as she’s doing that, Cerie – wearing the same dress as Jenna – jumps in front of her to announce that her dad got them all seats for opening day at the new Yankee Stadium. As they chant Cerie’s name, Jenna appears from the wings. Jenna: “Nobody ask me about my back brace.” They comply. Tracy blows out the candles. Jenna: “Nobody ask me about my back brace!”
Frank’s mom has been going nuts over his new career path, so Jack is invited over to the house.
Tracy is disappointed now that his birthday is over and won’t be back for another year. It’s a real comedown from the joy he was experiencing.
Casa Rossitano. Frank’s mom (Patty Lupone) seems very proud of her son and happy for Jack’s part in it…until Frank gets up to get more wine for them. She then lets Jack have it. Jack is stunned. All the Rossitano men are lawyers. Mob lawyers. “Frankie’s dad didn’t abandon him, he’s in hiding in Phoenix! Every Rossitano man is in hiding. Or six feet under.” Jack had no idea. Mrs. Rossitano: “Well you shoulda guessed.” Jack: “I don’t think I should have.” She won’t take her kid’s dream away, but she will make Jack do it.
Back at 30 Rock, Becca’s Tim is in the lobby. Liz tells Cerie to have them send him to 15. “He’s coming to steal my baby!”
Liz is running through the halls. She spots Jenna. Jenna: “Don’t even ask about the wheelchair.” Liz: “OK.” Jenna: “And my old vocal coach died!” She runs into Jack by the elevators and tells him about the new wrinkle in her baby acquisition plans. He responds by summarizing the scene from Harry and the Hendersons, telling her how George had to do the hard thing because it was best for the woodland ape. She fails to see how it applies to her situation.
Jenna rolls through the halls, getting sympathetic attention from Kenneth, at least for a moment. Kenneth and Dotcom are trying to figure out Tracy’s birthday wish so the magic can go on and on. Kenneth: “We’ve narrowed it down to own a Robocop, hunt the elephant that paints, or breakfast in bed.” Frustrated with her attempts for their attention, Jenna gets up and rips off the back brace she was still wearing. In walks Tracy. “My birthday wish came true!” Jenna is stunned. Tracy: “I wished for you to get better. I was gonna wish for breakfast in bed with Robocop while an elephant paints us [Kenneth: “We were close!”], but then I saw you with that back brace on right before I blew out my candles. It’s a birthday miracle!”
Tim gets off the elevator. Liz lies to him that Becca’s mad and doesn’t want to see him. He gets back on the elevator. John Lithgow then walks up to Liz asking where the Sci-Fi Channel is. Liz: “Urgh! Fine, Lithgow, I’ll do the right thing. God!” Lithgow: “I guess someone’s been watching The World According to Garp.”
Liz grabs him before the elevator can depart and tells him how much Becca wants to see him, but he was a lot more relieved to be let off the hook. Liz then lets him have it. “Nut up, right now! And get a job and help raise that kid. Love it because it has your goony face. And get married and have disposable cameras at the wedding because it’s fun and people like it!”
Jack has to do his own hard thing, being cruel to Frank and driving him back to his office.
Liz and Tim watch the scene play out. Liz: “Those two? They both grew up without fathers.”
Tim and Becca reconcile, then happily sing their awful song together. Jack and Liz share a drink. Lithgow is still lost.