House “Let Them Eat Cake” Tuesday, December 2, 2008Posted by dylancaseyjohnson in dcjrecaps.
Tags: ameloidosis, House #5.10, House Season Five Episode Ten, hugh laurie
So my wife is a big fan of “Top Chef” on Bravo. While she was catching the latest episode on DVR the other day, I walked into the room to grab a beer and head back upstairs to continue playing video games. As I passed by she said, “Doesn’t this guy look like Chase?” and I’ll be damned if Dr. Robert Chase wasn’t standing there in a chef coat, staring at me through the screen. It was especially eerie because a chef coat and a doctor coat look so similar. Things must be really tough for Jesse Spencer, the actor who plays Chase, as Jennifer Morrison, the steamy actress behind Dr. Cameron ended their engagement. Yeah, they were engaged, like in real life. But you don’t have to go looking for work/play everywhere Jesse, especially not Bravo reality shows. The Real Housewives of Orange County couldn’t hold a candle to Dr. Cameron. For shame.
You go ahead and decide for yourself if you think it’s him, I think the pictures speak for themselves. A summary of this week’s events after the jump.
This week’s patient Emmy is one of those annoying infomercial trainers and the episode opened with her conducting a quite fake looking fall down some stadium bleachers. After the intro, Cuddy chases House into the elevator and makes some your leg is messed up jokes. Cuddy also follows House to his office because House destroyed hers with last week’s hostage situation, which provides a convenient plot device to reintroduce the Huddy romance that was neglected last week. He even says, “Why are we still together?” when she follows him from the elevator.
Taub thinks the trainer/patient is using steroids because she looks FFFUUIIINNNNEE. They go to run some tests and Thirteen has a creepy flashback about her mom seizing while looking into another patient’s room.
Oh shit, patient just fell down, but it wasn’t a treadmill that caused respiratory failure this week, it was an arm-mill.
Foreman and Thirteen are conducting some tests for his clinical trial on Huntington’s drugs and her nerves have begun degenerating.
Back in Huddy’s office, Cuddy admiringly watches House analyze the test results and instantly diagnose the problem. If only she understood the timeline of the show enough she’d know that he was wrong.
Kutner asks Taub for his opinion on a patient with silicone implants and some other symptom I don’t remember, but Taub says that this patient doesn’t have breast implants. Taub then learns that Kutner set up an online second opinion clinic in House’s name where he e-mails desiring patients his opinions on their afflictions and he makes big money. Taub threatens to tell House unless Kutner cuts him in on 30%.
Again I’d like to point out how obnoxious it is that commercials air at twice the volume of television shows. Seriously fucking ridiculous. That’s all I have for this break. No wait, a “Secret Millionaire” commercial, I also have a burning hatred for that show on this break.
Turns out the personal trainer was morbidly obese and had gastric bypass surgery before her current career began, so the differential diagnosis (or DDX, in Housespeak) must change. House and Cuddy share a flirty-bickery exchange.
House interrupts the clinical trials to get Thirteen’s and Foreman’s opinions on the issue. Kutner’s diagnosis requires poop, so House tells him and Taub to get some. When Taub is procuring the poopy, he shares a moment with the patient. She asks him if surgery could help make him taller, whether or not he would do it. He says yes but that he wouldn’t deceive others about how he got that way and makes a pretty solid Lollipop Guild joke in the process.
Wilson tells Cuddy not to use the office conflict as an excuse to get close to House.
Taub and Kutner are discussing Kutner’s side-business when House uses a bucket of water and her poop to conclude that their diagnosis was wrong. So they move to an EEG which flatlines when the patient sneaks of to go run on a treadmill, but she’s bleeding. Taub’s face tells me it’s a bad thing that she is bleeding and can’t feel her leg.
Commercial. Wow, Norm MacDonald, Cingular gingerbread cookie voiceovers are all you can muster now? I’d call Ari if I were you.
Cuddy drops some stinky hydrogen sulfide in the office, forcing House to again move his DDX. Thirteen tells Foreman to hold on 15 minutes with his clinical trial while she helps, then never shows up.
So Taub is this week’s channel for the patient’s psychological well-being, exploring the reasoning behind her line of DVDs. She says it’s to help people. He says it’s to make money. Booorrrriiinnngggg.
The faulty fake-boob patient from Kutner’s pseudonymous online business shows up at the hospital and Kutner and Taub direct her to the ER and away from House.
Foreman broke into Thirteen’s house to wait for her and found that she was strictly following his instructions for the clinical trial, even though she didn’t show up for testing. Foreman tells her to show up on time or not to come back, triggering another flashback of her mom, who I’m just now figuring out probably had Huntington’s, triggering a deep trauma based on what she knows is going to happen to her.
Wow, look at all the different shapes and sizes Windows Mojavista fans come in, it must be great stuff.
Now the differential is taking place in the stairwell, where House calls Thirteen out on her movement away from Foreman. Cameron pages Kutner and Taub about the fake boob tattoo lady, providing another side item for House to analyze. Turns out the chick is singing random songs and bleeding from the ear, but Kutner doesn’t want to bring House in to help, because then the jig is up. Cameron and Chase help him differentiate, and agree to do the requisite tests for him, but only if Kutner cuts Chase in on 25%.
To Wilson’s office; I always knew Wilson was a Mac kind of guy. House presents his latest pranks to Wilson, but Wilson is obviously a Huddy shipper and wants only to speak of their obvious feelings for each other.
Taub invited all of the fat people in to terrorize the lying trainer, but it was just a dream, what could possibly be going on, then she wakes up SCREMIoh, now John Krasinski is screaming even louder, selling me a Blackberry. Damn you, House cliffhangers, and still more fervently damn you, double volume commercials.
Thirteen has to walk out of the furniture-less office for treatment. House wants to biopsy her brain for something I have never heard of, but Cuddy jumps in and tells him to test for the other things that I have never heard of that don’t require cutting a hole in the girl’s skull. House sends Taub and Kutner off to test for whatever, then House and Cuddy are almost going to kiss, but he grabs her boob and she gets disappointed. Sorry Huddy lovers, looks like that’s that.
The patient has given up, she wants some chocolate cake.
Thirteen really doesn’t want to sit with the lady with advanced Huntington’s, but Foreman tells her she must, though it sparks dying mom flashbacks.
Taub comes into House’s office, now with furniture, to tell him that all of the other tests have been done and they need Cuddy’s approval to run the brain biopsy, but House is more interested in asking Taub about his extramarital affairs, obviously pensive over his self-imposed-failure boob grab. Back in her room, the patient is up and stretching, feeling fine.
After the break, Taub tells House he gave her cake, and it turns out that she can be cured as a fat woman who eats a lot of cake. She says she would rather try a management drug rather than the cure of being obese.
AWWWWWWW House got Cuddy’s desk from med school out of storage to go in her office. Things are going to be alright after all.
Thirteen tells Foreman about her trauma from her mother’s illness and he hugs her. I told you they were gonna do it.
Kutner’s fake boob tattoo patient died and he and Taub are overlooking her corpse. Uh-oh, House is angry. Not really, he hired the patient to play a joke on Kutner. Anyone who didn’t see that coming has obviously never seen the show before. Too bad the Huddy romantic moment over House’s procuring of Cuddy’s med school desk is ruined by the actress straightening his shirt in front of an onlooking Cuddy.
Next week: It’s CHRISTMAS!