The Office “Customer Survey” Recap Thursday, November 6, 2008Posted by dylancaseyjohnson in dcjrecaps.
Tags: Dwight Schrute, Steve Carell, The Office 505, The Office Season Five Episode Five, Toby is back
You know the real guy getting the shaft in this whole Angela-Dwight-Andy love triangle? Warren Lieberstein, (otherwise known as Toby’s brother) her real husband pictured here. I heard he never takes pictures with Toby because the combined sadness of their eyes would have effects on the viewer analogous to those of a looming Dementor. And by “heard” I mean “made up.” Meanwhile, Roy has gone off to join James Va n d er Be ek in some crazy Jerry McGuire meets What Women Want meets Freaky Friday mess. And Darryl has been dropping ex. I know that’s not technically news, since it was like four, maybe five months ago, but mug shots never get old.
This week, back in TV world, the employees of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton Branch receive the results of a customer survey. It’s a simple premise like this one that makes me excited about an episode. Less detailed plot, lovey, kissy, and wah-wah; more jokey-joke, bruhaha, shenanigans, and tomfoolery after the jump.
After viewing the episode, Toby isn’t actually back and there was a lot of love-story-driven dribble. As it is, I present the highlights for me. Update: Here’s the full episode.
Alternate Titles: The World’s Tiniest Bluetooth, Playing the World’s Saddest Song; Kelly’s Conspiracy
In Michael’s office we learn that he hast old the employees that he and Holly are engaged. Dwight tries to give him a congratulatory friendly tap that turns out to be a jab to the shoulder. We cut to Darryl in confessional shot saying something along the lines of: “I was there, and that dude is not engaged but I would go into my own pocket to cover his co-pay.” for his psychiatric treatment.
Upon hearing the fake news Andy suggests a dual wedding. Michael rejects but adds “If we did it would be with Jim and Pam.” Jim nips that pipe dream in the bud: “Yeah, we’d never do that.” Soon everyone is in Michael’s office telling him to call his mom and inform her of his pending nuptials. Upon hearing the news, Michael’s mother assures him that he is not getting married. He awkwardly hangs up on his mother and sheepishly says, “Psych,” to the gathered employees.
Kelly uses the delivery of customer reviews to Michael’s office as an opportunity to drop this little nugget about Michael’s fake wedding: “I tried to return my bridesmaid’s dress and it was on sale, so I’m out a hundred dollars.” Michael throws away his receipt, suggesting Kelly is being insensitive of his canceled fake wedding. Then this, in confessional: “Kelly Kapoor is our dusty, exotic customer’s service rep. Once a year she brings me a list of Customer service reports.” He calls this collection of customer service reports “Kapoor’s List, like a Schindler’s List parody. That’s not appropriate…”
In confessional we learn that Jim is worried because those customer reports affect their bonuses. We also learn that throughout this episode, Jim will be on the phone with Pam on the world’s tiniest bluetooth.
Back in Michael’s office, Dwight is receiving the results of his customer reviews. He tries to put his feet on the desk, but Michael puts a quick stop to that idea. Dwight’s feedback is horrible, because his personal style is abrasive and distasteful. He thinks Michael has planned some elaborate joke, but to prove him wrong Michael asks “Do you look like you’re laughing?” Determined not to be joked-on, Dwight replies, “Impossible to say, I can’t see myself.”
In the break room Jim is narrating the goings-on of the office to Pam. Jim is using Andy’s mug with his smiling mug on it, Naturally this sets Andy off. He rejects the Snoopy mug Jim offers as a replacement and really wants his mug back.
Dwight’s confessional analysis, unaware of Jim’s tiny bluetooth: “I’ve caught Jim talking to himself several times today. What a loser. Get a friend, loser.”
Andy is perusing the internet, planning his wedding to Angela. “I found the best tentist on the East Coast. He personally tented Giuliani’s first and third weddings, and I got him. I got him.”
Jim is in Michael’s office to discuss his customer reviews. Michael looks unhappy so Jim asks, “Did my scores drop a little?” Michael’s reply: “Jim, they are poopy.” Jim hangs up his tiny bluetooth and in his subsequent confessional we learn that Jim needs a decent bonus because he is buying his parents’ house and he has not yet told Pam. Jim calls Pam back and tells her that he may not have done so well on his customer reviews. Pam says he may have spent too much time flirting with the receptionist. He says it was “still worth it” because he got Pam.
Michael needs to manage Dwight and Jim more closely, and when he asks Jim for the word describing that task, Jim tells him that word is “Microgement.”
As an exercise to right his poor customer service, Michael asks Dwight to sell to Jim without being hostile, aggressive or difficult. Jim chooses to name his customer “Bill Buttlicker,” the joke escalates with everyone saying Buttlicker a bunch of times until Dwight shouts, “Buttlicker, our prices have never been lower!” Michael chastises Dwight for yelling at the customer. Jim tells Michael he will buy one million dollars worth of paper on one condition: that Michael fire Dwight. Though it’s a fictitious negotiation, Michael is pained because “it’s a million-dollar sale.”
When Andy presents his tentist to Angela she is not as excited as he had anticipated, responding with “I don’t wanna be married in a tent like a hobo,” and “Nana Mimi can’t be in canvas that long.” She finally gives, as long as the tent is in a hand-plowed field, in an old barn where you can see the stars at night withing a 10 mile-radius. She is providing a vivid description of Schrute Farms, but Andy is still oblivious.
In the parking lot, Dwight almost hits Jim with his Thunderbird. Jim gets in, then Dwight screeches into a parking spot, Pam on the phone all the while. Dwight and Jim have a secret meeting in his Thunderbird with loud music because customer service could be monitoring their conversation. Dwight concludes that the mob (but not NASA) could stand to benefit from their downfall, but Dunder-Mifflin is probably not a front for money laundering. Jim continues to toy with Dwight, using his tiny bluetooth to confuse Dwight about who he was talking to.
Andy is somehow still unaware of the the Dwangela affair, even after he discovers Angela has assigned parameters that only Schrute Farms fits into.
At his desk Dwight tells a customer to “shut up” and hold his breath because he thinks he hears someone on the line, then runs over to scare the shit out of Kelly and call her stupid. She objects, “You just can’t come into my nook and call me stupid.” And, “Dwight get out of my nook,” to which Pam emphatically interjects with “That’s what she said” on Jim’s tiny bluetooth.
In the break room Jim asks Kelly how she and Darryl are doing and she abruptly leaves the break room. Pam notices that it is strange that Kelly did not take the opportunity to chat Jim’s ear off about herself. Jim asks Ryan why Kelly might be angry with him, but he throws Jim a bunch of cliches about his glory days in New York. Jim notices that Ryan also has a face mug Jim didn’t get a face mug because he didn’t go to Kelly’s “America’s Got Talent” finale party, so that’s why she gave Jim and Dwight bad reviews. Dwight again overeagerly performs a friendship tap, this time shoving Jim who just told him about Kelly’s diabolical scheme that confirmed his suspicions.
Michael asks Jim, Dwight, and Kelly to come to his office to clear everything up. As an excuse, she tries to say she was raped and Michael responds “You can not just say that you’ve been raped and expect all your problems to go away. Not again, don’t keep doing that.” Michael asks Jim and Dwight to leave so that he can discipline Kelly but really just tells her “I can not tell you how much guacamole I have wasted over the years. I don’t even know why I make such great quantities.” and tells Kelly to make herself fake cry. Outside Dwight and Jim begrudgingly recognize that she is laughing.
One of Pam’s new college friends tries to hit on her with Jim in her ear, or so he presumes. Actually, he’s just trying to convince her that she should stay in NY to fully live out her artistic dreams. Dwight finally found the bluetooth on the internet, but though they shared a moment of comraderie due to Kelly’s conspiracy, now is not the time for Dwight to be trying to pry the tiny thing out of Jim’s ear.
The final short scene is Dwight selling Angela on Schrute Farms for her wedding to Andy. They stare lustfully into each other’s eyes as Dwight presents photographs of weddings/funeral hosted by Schrute Farms in the past. It was kind of creepy.