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The Hills – Season 4 Premiere – “We’ll Never Be Friends” Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Posted by Matt_T in Bring On The Rapture, matt_T, The Hills, THIS AIN'T REALITY TV.

Hi boys and girls.  We’re back for Season 4 of the best ‘reality’ show ever.  Rumor is this could be the last seasoon.  We get a quick recap of what happened last season.  Lauren ominously says that that sometimes things have to get worse before they get better.  Off we go.

People’s Revolution and LC and Whitney are chatting and LC mentions she has a date tonight. Its some guy she used to date named Doug.   They dated some when she was 18, he went to a different school and she went to his prom. “Doug….Doug”  says Whitney.  3 minutes in and Whitney already providing the quote of the episode.  Hit the Natasha Beddingfield and off we go

At Bolthouse (How does she still have a job there?  Oh right, free publicity for Brent Bolthouse.) Heidi tells Kimberly that her sis is coming in to visit and she’s not that excited because Spencer just moved back in and he hasn’t told him yet.

Over at Epic (hey it seems we are checking in on everyone’s ‘job’) Audrina tells her coworker that her bday is this weekend and she’s not sure how it will be.  FORESHADOWING.

Back to Speidi’s pad.  Spence is playing Xbox and Heidi’s sister is sitting on the coach.  Neither of them seems too pleased.  Heidi takes him back to chat and he voices his displeasure. 

Of to the girl’s house and LC is getting dressed for her big date.  Lo tells her that she looks pretty, and LC crosses her finger in hopes that it will go well and she’ll have another date. Awwwww.  DougDoug picks her up and he’s so dreamy.

They go to Red Pearl Kitchen.  Doug asks her what she’s been doing for the past 4 years.  Smooth DougDoug.  Lauren orders a fuzzy dragon to drink and DougDoug orders a Stella.  Lauren tells him that what you order tells a lot about you and that by ordering a beer, he’s a guy’s guy. That’s true, but what on earth does ordering a fuzzy dragon mean?  You are prissy and spoiled?  DougDoug tells her she’s still gorgeous and asks her if they can do it again.  (HIGH FIVE LC!) but really?  Already asking her out again before your drinks have even arrived? Smooth again DougDoug.

Holly’s up early with Heidi and is making breakfast for them all.  Heidi explains that she’s an early bird and her and Spencer are ‘latebirds.’  Cute.  Spencer declines Holly’s breakfast and Heidi bitches at him in earshot of Holly.  Classy.  They are truly America’s couple.  Holly makes a catty comment about the dishes in the sink and Spence decides to go back to bed.

Audrina’s party and Frankie and DougDoug show up in Laker jerseys.  Srsly?  Some dude with an awesome pink mohawk shows up.  Audrina has cooler friends than the other girls.  Lots of shot sof the beautiful people out by the people.  Llo is hanging out in the kitchen being a loner and judging everyone else.  I think she may have some social anxiety.  LC asks if she wants 23 candles or 23 +1 for good luck.  Audrina wants the good luck candle.  Good choice Audrina.  Lo asks Audrina who she invited and who these people were.  Audrina says their her friends who she goes out with when she’s not at home and her and Lo shoot daggers at each other with their eyes.

Heidi and Holly are at the beauty parlor and Holly points out that she hasn’t told their folks about her and Spencer yet because she used to tell her mom everything.  She asks when the last time she saw Lauren was?  Srsly?  Get over it, they aren’t going to be friends again.  Who Cares?  That’s so season 2 anyways.

Back to the party and WHOOOO its Justin-Bobby!  Hepretends to throw her in the pool but doesn’t.  DougDoug has to leave and he didn’t get to hang out with LC much.  Sad Face.  Lauren goes into get the cake and see what Lo is doing because she hasn’t seen her in an hour.  She says she’s been upstairs playing with the dog.  LC tells her that they need to make an effort, and Lo says she doesn’t even know any of Audrina’s friends.  Well no shit, maybe its because you hide upstairs when someone not from Laguna Beach comes over. Lo says she’s done with the situation and she spills cake on her dress and then goes back upstairs.  Lauren gets all emo and goes outside and chats with Frankie about the what went down (where is his boy Brody?) Meanwhile, pink mohawk boy almost gets thrown in the pool, I hope he gets more screen time. Lauren wishes that everything could be like it was.   Poor LC, wanting to please everyone.

Holly’s leaving the Speidi’s and she says she had a great time.  She misses her Heidi so much and says maybe she should move out there.  Spencer is definitely pissed and hasn’t said anything to her.  Holly says maybe she could live out there when she comes out.  She thanks Spence for everything.  He says “my pleasure”  HEY SARCASM.  And as soon as she leaves he bitches at her for saying her sis can stay.  he goes inside to mope and comb his flesh colored beard.

Whitney asks about the BBQ.  LC recaps for Whitney and says that Lo wasn’t there much, but she was trying so hard?  WHAT?  Maybe it gets cut in editing (scripting) but I mean really, how is Lo trying?  Lauren was happy with DougDoug though for cooking.  LC tells Lo she has to talk to Audrina.

Lo goes to talk to Audrina and blah blah blah.  Lo doesn’t think its her fault, Audrina doesn’t care about trying to hard.  This is the stupidest fight ever.  Lo think she’s putting forth an effort.  So she’s delusional.  Audrina says she doesn’t really care and then says they’ll never be friends.  BOOM.  I wasn’t expecting that from her.  Good on you Audrina.

Well that’s it for the premiere.   Definitely a step up from the last season finale.  What did y’all think?



1. Alex - Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Good God who proofed this? But thanks for doing this, keep it up.

2. Jerkwheat - Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Well, seeing as this isn’t a paid gig there is generally no proofing. We have other jobs that require our attention and I know Matt did this quickly to get it out into the world. It’s a blog, typos are always welcome.

3. amber - Tuesday, August 19, 2008

seriously.. lo is such a b*tch.. she only thinks about herself.

and when she left in laguna beach to santa barbra for school, she left lauren..and nows shes super jelous that lauren has made friends with audrina..

she’s just jelous at the fact that lauren can pretty much make friends with anyone! and she cant!

and spencer is a douch bag!!!
cant stand him…

4. DougOLis - Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Why do things have to get worse before they get better? That’s fucking depressing as hell.

Doug is not a funny name. Doug is an awesome name. Except for Doug Funny, I guess that is a Funny name. Whitney, I love you, but you’re on notice.

Stella says that you like crappy overpriced mediocre beers actually. Into marketing over substance. I’m pretty sure that DougDoug was a Water Polo player.

Was this filmed during the NBA playoffs? I hope so. Also, nice boob shot there when someone (Audrina?) is pouring a drink. When did Lo go from snarky to bitch?

I guess redact that last statement in light of Audrina’s comment at the end.

Well done there Matt. Good to have the show back.

5. Matt_T - Wednesday, August 20, 2008

I’m not sure, but I think Doug may be the minor league baseball player.

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