Urban HIMYMs: “Miracles” — The countdown’s going on right now Wednesday, May 21, 2008Posted by Yostal in the balls.
Tags: Gen X&Y, How I Met Your Mother, Television, The Bad One, Things too long to read, TV, TV shows, Urban HIMYMs, Yostal
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my season’s worth of recaps for How I Met Your Mother. Welcome, once more, to Urban HIMYMs.
So here we are, the last one of the season. The last episode, my last recap. I have to admit, I’m sad to see the season end, but I am not exactly displeased at the idea of no longer having to do recaps. The two hours these things end up taking me to write, well, my passion for spending that much time breaking down a show has waned. Particularly for so few eyes to be seeing it. I do want to say that I greatly and deeply appreciate the loyal readers and commenters. I would have probably just quit doing this without notice were it not for you guys. So I promise you I will give it one last solid effort, and we’ll reevaluate come the fall.
And away we go…
1). Ted goes back to his musings on the nature of fate, and how life can be different by the choices we make in life, in this case, the cab he chose. But first, backing up a little, Ted comes back to the apartment and lets the gang know that something bad happened (while Marshall reads the New York Examiner and its blaring headline “NAKED CABBIE VOWS TO KILL AGAIN”, and a sketch of the guy we just saw driving one of the exceptionally sketchy cabs that Ted chose not to take.) The bad thing is that Stella’s sister is getting married and she’d like Ted to come with her to the wedding…in November. This violates Barney’s concept of the Date-Time Continuum, which states that one may never make plans in a relationship further out than the couple has been together. This is actually, among Barney ideas, not a terrible one, which is perhaps why Ted went back to it. Even if Barney did shred Ted’s fourth row Springsteen tickets (he’s like the American Bryan Adams). But back to Ted and Stella, Ted augers this sucker in for a crash landing. It’s wings on fire bad. We need to talk is bad, because it pretty much means that Ted is breaking up with Stella. Stella heads to work, and says “We’re good.” Ted argues he’s making the responsible choice here, it’s what’s best for all parties.
2). Ted’s cab is t-boned by another car (echoing a House plot point from the previous week). What we see next is a lovely Radiohead accompanied montage of Marshall (playing Guitar Hero in his underwear), Lily (at work, prepping the wee ones for some sort of patriotic pageant), and Robin (getting ready to go live on air) get the news that Ted’s been in an accident and their rush to the hospital. (It is mildly confusing on one front. Lily said it was 10:00 AM when Ted wanted a beer in the flashback, why is she then at work? If it’s a weekday, why was Ted drinking while he on the clock. Why am I over thinking this.) Except the slo-mo ends because Ted’s completely fine and eating Jell-O. Because there’s always room for a Jell-O joke. Opening Titles…
3). Ted’s totally fine (physically), but he realizes he made a huge mistake with Stella, whom he cannot reach because she is at that arcade, Kiddie Funland, with her daughter. He’s left messages, but oy. They must wait on some plot device internal bleeding test results, but Marshall declares this a miracle, much to Robin’s protest. Marshall’s belief in miracles is backed up by emperical evidence from his own life. The pencil up Barney’s nose (the drunk jackass called God) for starters. Lily decides that she should call Barney, who is clearly in a meeting with some Korean gentlemen, including one in military uniform. Barney bows out with some hasty Korean, and rushes to get a cab, but the good people of the Livery Commission are working against him. Ted explains that when your life flashes before you eyes when you’re about to die, you don’t see everything that’s happened, just the things you love, and he realizes that he loves Stella, that she is the most important thing in his life and he needs her back. Again, Marshall declares miracle, Robin kiboshes. Barney’s running to see Ted, but the visitor he gets next is Stella. Commercial break. Can I make the point that Million Dollar Password with the NPH, Reeg, and Betty White could seriously rock. I hope.
4). Stella comes in, they declare I love yous, they agree to forget about what was past, and after checking Ted’s chart, Stella hops in the bed for some dry humping, which Marshall declares another miracle, but Robin needs some further theological backing on that from the good people at the Vatican. Marshall cites another huge miracle, from the previous month, the head lice he picked up in Lily’s classroom while wearing tiny hats that saved him from being busted two weeks later by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Lice to Marshall’s head like locusts to Egypt.
5). Lily’s affection leads to a slip of the tongue, revealing that Ted thought it was a breakup, but Stella, not so much. (The way that Sarah Chalke says “Son of a bitch” is just excellent.) Ted is really not good at this. Stella points out that if he had these feelings once, he’ll have them again, and she cannot rely on a car accident every time to straighten out his life. So yes, they are broken up. They’re good.
6). So apparently Ted broke with her and she didn’t know it. Ted’s failure to say directly “I want to break up with you” is apparently the key, but the gang agrees, it is a horrible thing to say. Ted gets a phone call, it turns out he is the emergency contact of a Mr. Stinson. There’s been an accident. It turns out that Barney did make it to the hospital, but as he was crossing the street, having run the whole way there, he gets hit by a large blue bus (now, I would like to point out, that bus was clearly going the opposite way in which the one way sign was hanging on that street. I do not know if that’s significant, but it feels like it should be.)
7). So Barney’s in a full body cast. Ted is amazed that Barney ran all the way here, but no, Barney was in this part of town. Barney is his usual self, but then Ted and Barney make up, they’re brothers. So’s Marshall. That’s how they buried the hatchet.
8). Barney would have passed out if they watched what the paramedics were about to do, yep, the cut his suit off him. Marshall declares it two miracles in one day, but Robin gives it a raspberry sound effected thumbs down. Why is Robin so cynical? Well, it turns out when she was a kid, she had this dog, a golden retriever named Sir Scratch-a-wan. When her parents took the dog to the vet, the vet informed them that just that day, he had learned of an experimental procedure called a canine-testudine-cerebro-xenograph. It saves Sir Scratch-a-wan’s life, allowing him to live another seven years, except for one little minor side effect. He turned into a turtle. A very common complication in these procedures, and he did not seem to remember any of his old tricks. Robin finally realized it, it took her longer than she cares to admit.
9). Ted’s tests are back, he’s fine, so he bolts. And THE MATS KICK IN (“Here Comes a Regular“) and we hear Lily and Marshall speculate on the things which Barney loves that he saw as his life flashed before his eyes. But it’s clear that what he saw was a certain Canadian newscaster. Which is almost sweet in its own demented way.
10). Ted points out that a lot of random things have happened in his life, but the car accident was one of the few which he would classify as a miracle. He makes his way to what we can presume is Kiddie Funland and finds Stella. They have a seat (inside a Virtua Racer console, and Ted presents her with a tiny orange kangaroo. Stella is mildly confused, but appreciative. Ted figures out that he is what changed between the breakup and the car accident. He changed. He’s ready to give Stella what she needs, and asks her if she will marry him…and Cliffhanger.
Well, there’s a lot here, but not a lot to say. A lot upon which we could speculate, but the dual deus ex machinas of Ted and Barney getting in life changing car accidents is a little sitcomy, but it does reset us going into next season. The Yostess and I are split on the whole “Is Stella the Mom?” question. She says no, but I want to say yes, and I know that is because I think Sarah Chalke is too good to waste as a random interstital girlfriend. But you know what, we’ll find out in September. Or we won’t.
So gang, please, take it away in the comments, and enjoy.
Once again, I’d like to thank my pal Geoff (aka The Bad One) for his witty and insightful comments as I worked on this. And Jennifer (aka The Yostess) for putting up with me doing this.
So, that’s all I have for this year’s edition of Urban HIMYMs. With that, this is Yostal, gone ’til September.
(updated at 4:45 PM to reflect the dog’s correct name and hilarious missed Canadian joke.)