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American Idol Roundtable – Top Three Week Recap Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, jerkwheat, reality TV.

So, that went pretty much according to plan. The final three performers each putting up three good, not great performances.  Yet another night of absolutely nothing happening to convince me that anything has changed after last night. Still, we blog onwards. Follow the jump for your weekly performance recap from the ususal crew…


Archuleta – “So it Goes” by Billy Joel. Paula chooses this for him and says a bunch of nonsense.  David says its a pretty song.  Barf.  Typical Archuleta performance.  His voice was amazing on this.  I actually enjoyed this better than I do most of his performances.

Syesha is singing “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys as chosen by Randy.  Syesha’s excited because its her favorite artist.  Yay for Randy picking a song that came out in the 00s.  The background singers are kind of overpowering her a little which is a shame.  She sounds very good and she connects better to with the audience and emotes

David Cook is singing “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack. He says its one of the greatest songs of all time and he wants Cook to do something different. See, Simon does the right thing by challenging them.  He starts out a little weak with some falsetto, but he really picks up and nails a huge note at the end.

Round 2:

Archie’s finally goes modern with “With You” by Chris Brown.  Oh geez.  This is strange and awkward.  He’s trying to bounce/dance and it sounds like he’s losing his breath.  He picks up some steam towards the middle and the end.  Not too shabby.  It was good to see him do something different.  Simon compared it to a chihuahua  trying to be a tiger.  Lolz at Simon.

Syesha is singing “Fever” by Peggy Lee. She has a chair on stage and she’s dancing around the chair, and the bassist and all the while sounding fantastic.  She definitely has a career on broadway if she wants to go that route.  Oh look a Justin Guarini sighting in the audience.

Cookie goes with Switchfoot’s “Dare You to Move.”  He’s playing the guitar..  The first verse is rather rough, it sounds like he’s trying to sing it too low for his range, but when he gets to the chorus he lets it rip and it sounds much better.  Some audience member is holding up a Cougars 4 Cooks sign.  BARF.

Round 3:

Archie’s up and he’s doing a metal version of “Longer” by Dan Fogelberg.  Just kidding.  He does the whole ballad thing as usual.  He did sound amazing.  Simon rips into the song choice.  Bravo!  I imagine the other producers won’t be happy about that.

Hey more screen time for Guarini.  Syesha is singing “Hit me Up” by Gia Ferrell?  I’ve never heard this song, it sounds like something Destiny’s Child would do.  Apparently it was on the Happy Feet soundtrack.  This is another weird song choice by the producers.  It was ok.  Very generic pop song.   I liked her other performances tonight better.

The producers choose “Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith.  BARF.  Cookie’s surrounded by a half circle of string players.  This song is terrible, but vocally its right in Cook’s wheelhouse.  This was his best song of the night.

Well, nothing happened tonight to change the David/David express.


It’s a HUGE night on Idol. One girl pitted against an emo rocker and a syrupy crooner. I guess she has that going for her except that is not how America has been voting.  I actually wish her luck. I like her better than those two.  She’s hot and has a nice voice. The other two strike me as fake. Such is life. I picked the Creamboat (yes I’m changing it due to the weeping panties across all female age demographics) to win it all and that pick is looking good. I have never liked emo boy but whatever. He has had some solid performances and probably deserves to be there. Except Carly should be. I digest…

Don’t fuck it up gal and boys…

Lloyd from Entourage is there. Great fucking character! Man I hate the haircuts on the dudes. Syesha is HOT.

1. Paula chooses Creamboat’s  song and it’s “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel. This is perfectly fucking Paula. Slow, feathery, and craptastic. Seriously this….Oh and he singing good.  It was utterly boring. YAWN! It was performed well vocally but whatever. Blah. Randy loves it. Paula creamed. Simon liked it but says it was predictable. Agree.

2. The girl that I never had will be singing “If I Aint Got You” by  Big Assed Keys. Good song for  her of course. I like this song too so bonus. I would her to sing this to me. WOW. This is really in her wheelhouse. Didn’t seem like she forced any notes and did her runs great. Predictable? Maybe. Great performance. YES. Randy loves it and says she’s peaking. I agree. Paula talks. Simon liked the singing and rightfully says the song was predictable. Tru Dat.

3. Cook is up. Simon “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” by Roberta Flack. HA. Sabotage? This will be interesting. Very Yorkish singing by David here at the beginning. I have to say I am digging it. Great! Hit some nice falsetto. He brought the friggin’ house down. See, Simon knows what he’s doing. Randy likes it but criticizes Simon. Paula creams. Simon, of course, LOVED it. I agree. IMHO it was my favorite performance by him.

4. Creamboat is up with his choice. “With You” by Chris Brown. Never heard of it. Boo? I am glad he is singing something from this decade. He sounds like crap. Like he is losing his breathe.  Meh. People really like this song?  I swear I hate all new music. Boo? Nothing raises my blood pressure more than calling your  girl/boyfriend boo. It irritates me. Boo? Randy has a sort of same take. Paula said something. Simon didn’t like it. I thought it S.U.C.K.E.D!

5. Syesha will bring some “Fever” to the table by Peggy Lee. I like this idea. Get sexy Syesha. My boo. Her legs are lovely. She is looking and singing very well. I am also sick of this song on Idol. Ended with a really nice note. Overall I liked it and she sang it great. Selling sex? Randy/Paula/Simon pretty much agree it was the wrong song. Simon called it cabaret. True. She should have done what Creamboat tried to do. It would have been a lot better. And if a hot chick says “Boo” it may be palatable. (not really but kinda)

6. Cook is up next and I will guarantee he does good. Always does when he picks his own songs. He’s doing ” Dare You To Move” by  Switchfoot. I don’t think he is singing it very well. I don’t know this song so maybe it’s good or bad. Randy/Paula/Simon pretty much agree it was a middling round and Cook could have been better. I guess I agree. I also lose my bet to myself.

7. “Longer” Fogleberg. Shit.  This should be right up Creamboat’s alley. I am so FUCKING SICK OF THIS SHIT. I AM DONE WITH THESE BLUEBIRDS OF HAPPINESS OR LOVE ME MORE FUCKING SONGS BY CREAMBOAT. JERKWHEAT, YOU CAN DELETE THE CAPS IF YOU WANT BUT THIS IS GETTING TIRING. Randy gives a halfhearted kudos. Paula loved it. Simon said it was gooey! YES! GOOEY! Fuck David A.

8. Syesha is up and needs to kick some serious ass. She’s a goner but I follow the Brewers so there is always hope. Right? And the Crew is down 2-0. Fuck me. STOP IGNORING LLOYD SEACREAST YOU ANUS. She’s singing ” I Don’t Know”. I missed it. She is wiggling her ass and singing good. I think sexiness got her to the final three really. She did OK. Rhianna? Randy doesn’t like. Paula hates. Simon liked it OK but says her ride is over. It is. Hold your head up girl cuz u b getting a rekord contrak.

9. Cook up last. He’s doing “I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing.” Christ. Goopy goopiness. The arrangement is like “Eleanor Rigby” or “Never Tear Us Apart”. Except not good.  I must confess, I hate all Aerosmith after 1985. He did OK but I thought choice of song was bad. Randy  not so much. Paula and Simon like.

This episode was rather lame. I’m in a sort of a shitty mood so maybe that’s why. Syesha is definitely the loser. I have to say I am going to hate this final. I don’t like either. Creamboat I thought was just a big drag tonight and that definitely opens a huge door for emo David.

I think emo rocker will win now and he should. He’s more now.


It is one o’clock in the freaking morning and I just got home from work.  Dinner and Idol?  Why not – this way I can fast forward through the crap.

Dreamboat’s “And So It Goes” pretty accurately sums up his performances this season.  Each and every just sort of goes on.  His performance of the Billy Joel classic reminded me of the choir member who can sing, but wants to make sure everyone else in the church knows just how great she is, so puts that extra emotion and power behind each note and ends up making everyone wince.  “Pure and stunning” is a bit much, though, Paula, and Simon is spot on – “predictible”, like every other freaking SONG he has done this season.

No surprise that the judges went with a big vocal song for Syesha in “If I Ain’t Got You”, though the crowd waving in rhythm was ridiculous looking.  Solid as would likely be expected from her in a wheelhouse song.  Better than Dreamboat, I thought.

Simon’s choice of “First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” for David Cook is something I don’t think I recognize.  Listen dawg, little pitchy, little pitchy.  Pretty good, something different from his normal by far.  I don’t think I would stop if I heard it on the radio, though.

Seriously, Dreamboat gets lost on stage and the tweens squeal?  It is official though – his performing more current songs is a BAD idea.  Nice touch (sarcasm) though how he put his customary repeat of the end lyrics and a bigger extended close.  Also, the guy has less rhythm than me… boo.

Syesha gives us all a “Fever”.  Not the Aerosmith/Garth Brooks version, which would have been awesome.  Just plain out and out sexy.  However, while it may definitely showcase her, this definitely does not seem like a song which would generate a lot of votes.

DCook Dares You To Move… but I am not sure he moved me.  It was good, not great, and maybe just… meh.

To hell with it – after about thirty seconds of Dreamboat and Dan Fogelberg, I cannot take it.  He should have done “Leader of the Band” and dedicated it to his father.

Hit Me Up, Syesha.  Very peppy, happy, energetic song.  She gets the hips going, and closes by asking DougOLis to handle her right, which I am sure he is doing somewhere in his mind.  The Judges basically write her off, but hey – so did we.

Pimp Spot!  While I wouldn’t have minded miss a thing, EmoBoy doesn’t want to, channeling his inner Steven Tyler.  Mixing it up with strings makes it sappy.  The first part of the arrangement actually sounds a lot more like the Mark Chestnutt country cover (er… the only video on YouTube was the song over some footage from Days of Our Lives.  Seriously, why can’t Sami and Lucas just be happy together?  Scheming conniving hussy), up until the point where the guitar rocked out.  I think his voice cracked in the middle of it.

Nothing shocking here – The Davids should easily prance into the Finals next week.  SO long as they bring Carly back for a few performances, it should be survivable.  It was nice, though, to watch the whole thing in twenty-eight minutes.


I pretty much always follow the practice of watching this show on DVR – it’s a lot better when it’s just performances and the wisdom from the peanut gallery. As for my thoughts on said performances…

Dreamboat Archie – Guh. If I never hear him sing the words “my boo” again, it’ll be too soon. Really? I’m supposed to buy that from him? He just wants to sing the Osmonds Greatest Hits! And Grammy and her 9 year old granddaughter in Provo want to buy it! His career has Clay Aiken written all over it, sans the multi-platinum debut, because albums just don’t usually sell like that anymore. I’m pretty much resigned to the fact that he is going to win and there is nothing we can do about it. You win again, out of touch music producers.

The Bartender – I think Cook did a solid job with the Roberta Flack song – stuck close to the original, didn’t emo it up. Well played. Equally well played was going for the God-rock set with a Switchfoot song. Although the performance was pretty meh, it is always nice to hear a “modern rock” song from this decade on the show. I’d prefer not to speak of anything involving Diane Warren so let’s just go with another good, not great performance review at the end. He did nothing to set himself back and nothing to establish himself as the winner.

Number 3 – Poor, poor Syesha. As long as the Davids were competent tonight, you never really had a prayer. At least they didn’t make you sing Whitney, just Alicia. And what’s with choosing “Fever”? Really? And why did they give you a non-hit from the freaking Happy Feet soundtrack to sing? You poor thing, our sacrificial lamb to the Idol producers whims. Just be pleased with a 3rd place finish, we had you pegged for departure weeks ago.

In conclusion:

Nothing new to see here. If one of the Davids goes home tonight it’s going to be the biggest OMG IDOL SHOCK EVAR. We’ll find out in about 10 hours.



1. DougOLis - Wednesday, May 14, 2008

DA – Good and he brought it, but it felt more like he was performing it rather than actually singing and feeling it. Nice to see Simon finally call him out on the predictability; nice critique by him.

Syesha – Randy chose well. She once again has a tendency to get screachy, but it was good.

DC – Interesting choice and a great ballad but not my favorite.

DA2 – Damn, risky choice by him but I think he pulled it off and it’s refreshing to hear him do something young.

Syesha2 – Sexy but ultimately not an AI winning performance. Judges were a bit harsh

DC2 – hmm, his voice is a bit flat at the beginning. He doesn’t have the greatest voice.

DA3 – uhhh, gross. Hate the song choice and the performance. I mean, the singing was good but I wanted to vomit. Do they producers choose their songs or give them one of a few options? The song choice isn’t exactly his fault if it’s the former; he could have done something different with it though.

Syesha3 – sounded like a boring Beyonce performance

DC3 – does a decent Steven Tyler impersonation and it was fine at best. “One of the great songs of all time?” That’s a bit much Simon.

Pretty mediocre week, no one really stood out or fucked up. Maybe they were all just trying to get into the finals. Do we have to crown a winner this season? Is anyone else getting bored and sick of this?

@JB* – glad to see I wasn’t the only one who was hoping for the Aerosmitih/Garth “Fever.” And yes, you have no idea how many dirty Syesha thoughts went through my head.

2. Fat-Fat - Wednesday, May 14, 2008

@DougOlis- I am pretty sick of it. This year just seems drawn out. My rage is only building in the case of Mr. DA. He sickens me and is boring. Of course I’m not sure that came out in my recap.

3. DeadOn - American Idol Top 3 (Recap) « The Wit and Wisdon of JB* - Thursday, June 12, 2008

[…] DeadOn – American Idol Top 3 (Recap) The guys at DeadOn recap the performance of the three finalists… […]

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