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American Idol Roundtable – Top Four Week Recap Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, jerkwheat, reality TV.

Hey, that wasn’t too bad. Or maybe it was. Really, it all depends on who you ask. I don’t think there was a performance that left me thinking, “Hey! I’ll download that later!” , but there were certainly performances that made me want to throw things at the screen. All in all, it was a typical Idol night. Just ask the panel, whose recaps await you…..AFTER THE JUMP


Ryan tells us that 3 of the 4 left have been at the top in votes once this year and that we must vote.  Sorry Ryan, I’ve only voted once ever, and that’s when Blake did a 311 song.  So if someone does 311 again I’ll vote.

Cook – “Hungry Like the Wolf” Duran Duran.  I like this choice.  He’s going sans guitar for this one.  He stayed fairly true to the original, a little grungy.  It was enjoyable.

Syesha’s doing “Proud Mary” sigh.  Everyone does this.  Its another ‘diva’ choice for her.  But she definitely has the Tina look going on tonight.  She’s doing a slower, sultry version and then speeds it up with some sweet moves.  I liked it, she gave both sides, and really performed it, rather than just standing there singing.

Well I was right on Castro doing Marley, just not the right song.  He’s doing a poppy reggae version of “I Shot the Sheriff”  Its right in his wheelhouse, and he’s as energetic as I can remember.  I kinda liked it.  The judges are going to hate it, but its obvious he doesn’t care.  The judges are nailing him and he’s laughing.

Archuletta does “Stand by Me” and talks about how he sang it to his dog in his room growing up.  Barf.  This is such a lame choice.  He sounds good, but again, he is not doing anything modern and its really really tired.  And even more predictable, Randy gives him verbal fellatio.

Cook  is doing “Baba O’Riley” This is risky, but I love this song. The past couple years they’ve played it right before kick off at the Georgia games.  He starts out soft and slow and crecendos to the big “teenage wasteland” part.  This was a typical Cook including the guitar.  I enjoyed it.  And was that the ‘olly twins from Sunset Tan?

Syesha – “A Change is Gonna Come” by Sam Cooke.  Costume change for Syesha.  She looks fantastic.  She sounds great.  Hey Carly’s in the front row and stands up and claps for Syesha.  Aww.  Paula looks like she’s crying.  And now Syesha is crying too.

Castro – “Tambourine Man” by Bob Dylan.  This has disaster written all over it.  And he botches the words.  I know this is just a reality show and all, but he’s making a bigger mockery of this than Sanjaya did last year.  Its just him and his acoustic and its junk.

Archuletta is doing “Love me Tender” by Elvis.  A song that he doesn’t even know.  Gee, I wonder if his dad chose it for him.  He said he liked it because he hasn’t done a love song yet really.  BARF.  This is so schmaltzy and cheesy.  Yes the voice sounds good, but come on.  If Archuletta wins, I imagine he’ll have a Taylor Hicks/Ruben type of career.  And of course the judges love it.  I know its beating a dead Eight Belles (too soon?) but the judges need to get with the times, this is why the show has been struggling.

Syesha was my favorite tonight by far.  Jason absolutely should go home and it was so bad, I think he will regardless of how strong his voting block is.


Well it at least looks to be a fun week. I hope. At least I should know some songs. So let’s get it on and don’t fuck it up 2 Tards, a Girl and a Stonerface.

Syesha looks remarkable tonight.  I would do certain naughty things to that particular individual.

1. Cook is up singing “Hungry Like A Wolf”. He is not crazy about it so he changed it. Ok. I can’t hear the band. I think Cook sounds really bad. I don’t like this hard edge he is putting into his voice. His pitch is ALL OVER the place. I didn’t like it.  Randy says it was OK. Paula says something. Simon says copycat but I disagree. It was bad.

2. Syesha is next and looking like a cut off prime rib. Delicious and juicy.  She’ll sing “Proud Mary” by Tina. Good choice for her. I love how she moves her hips.. She is sexy! Especially in that skin hugging dress. Go AWAY I’m batin’.  Song starts slowly and now it starts rocking. She is doing a fine job. Her voice sounds really strong and she is kicking ass. I loved it. Randy loved it. Paula pukes praise. Simon hated it. I really don’t agree it was a bad impersonation.  This is the sort of song that may get Jason eliminated (PLEASE)?

3. Shithead is going to do Marley’s “I Shot the Sheriff”. Yawn. Jason gives me the feeling of a kid who grew up in affluence and likes Marley and Rage because that shit’s cool but not sure why. This performance sucked! Syesha was way better. Randy didn’t like it. Paula eats crack and spouts inanities. Simon hated it. Calls it utterly atrocious. HA! I agree to the Nth degree. Somewhere Bob Marley hangs his head.

4. Dreamboat is up and will sing “Stand By Me” by Ben E. King. I like the choice for him. He goes with a very mellow arrangement and he is singing is very nice. Some very nice understated runs and his pitch is perfect. He is also working the pubes off the young girls in the crowd. Very well done. Randy loves. Paula drools and gives good advice about eye contact. Simon HAHAHA digs on Jason again which is good. Says he struggled a bit at the end. Debatable.

5. Emo boy is up again and hopes to improve. He will be singing “Baba O’Riley” by the Who. Oh fuck. You better do good. It sounds like a version George Michael would do here at the beginning.  God, Creed would think this sucks. He completely sucked again. I don’t think this is a song he should mess with arrangement wise.. He had good presence and maybe he didn’t want to sound karaoke by singing it closer to the original. I know it’s his style but IMO it sucked. Judges disagree with me and that’s cool. I like my Who just as they are and not emo’d up. Blech.

6. Syesha back with a Sam Cooke song. “A Change is Gonna Come”. Approve. One of my favorite songs ever. Hate her dress this time. Still HAWT though. Her voice sounds off though. She hit a big note that quite didn’t make it. It was rather boring. She was kind of shouting the song. Randy says it fell flat for him. I agree. It just was kinda off. Paula is almost crying and makes Syesha cry and Paula snorts coke. Simon takes the chicken shit way out and agrees with Paula because Syesha was crying.


7. Shitstain is up and will sing “Mr. Tamborine Man”. Yawn again….HAHAHAHAHAHHA HE FORGOT THE LYRICS! YEAH! YEAH! THE NIGHTMARE IS DONE. DOWN GOES CASTRO! DOWN GOES CASTRO! He is gone. Also besides not remembering words his performance sucked. HA! Simon says Jason should pack his suitcase and Jason responds, “dude, why are you hashing my buzz”. I am happy.

8. Dreamboat with his second song is next. He is singing ” It Doesn’t Matter Because I Am Going To Win”. Boy he is so syrupy and bubbly and boy next door. He’s actually doing a nice slow “Love Me Tender” and is kicking ass. I am liking it a lot. I picked him to win it from the outset and then bailed. I was wrong and right . I think he has it wrapped up. IDOL IS OVER! Like Simon said, David crushed the competition tonight.

Thoughts? The only way Dreamboat loses is if he really shits his pants on stage. Even that may not matter. Syesha was OK and I thought Cook was bad. Ninnypants though. AHHAHAHAHAH. He was terrible. One of the worst suckings that ever sucked. Seriously? You get to pick out of that many songs and you chose Marley and Dylan. Then you forget the words? BYE. hopefully


All righty… long hours are not fun.  I am going to have to mail it in this week –

David Cook – I thought was fine, but nothing you’d be talking about in a week.  Hungry Like a Wolf was a meh, Baba O’RIley was good.

Syesha – Best of the night, in my opinion.  Looked like a star, sounded like a star, gave real performances and not just songs.  She ought to be safe, but with the voting blocs out there, who knows.

Jason Castro – I will cite William Shatner (channeling Simon Cowell, black tee and all) in Brad Paisley’s “Celebrity” video… “Caca.  Shit.  Performance was shit.  I liked the end of the song.  When the song stopped.  The end, I like.  You know, when the song ends, and you come to a stop – I love that.”

Dreamboat – At this point, he is just annoying the hell out of me.  Yes, he is phenomenal.  Yes, he can sing.  Yes, he probably makes an army of twelve year old girls squeal and throw their panties, but that is illegal in forty-nine states (null and void for Mississippi).  But seriously, he is boring me with the same performance every week.  He will be one of the worst selling American Idols ever.  The tweens who are currently devastated over Miley Cyrus’ Vanity Fair shoot will have moved on in six months when the album comes out, and he seriously – would you pay money to see him headline a concert?  A triple-headed beast of Taylor the Dreamboat Aiken would be soul-crushing.

Predictions – Obviously, Syesha and Jason in the bottom two.  I think a caca performance would be enough to get Jason sent home, but I think we all thought crap showings would have cost he or Brooke during Andrew Lloyd Webber week, and Carly paid the price that week – also, thank you Idol for having her cleavage right behind Randy the whole time.

All that being said, it has to be Jason.  Syesha had to earn some non-regular voters with her tears, and Castro was a trainwreck.  Gotta be Jason.  Now watch it be EmoBoy.

In Conclusion:

It has to be Jason leaving us tonight, right? DialIdol says so, and 60% of the time, they are right 100% of the time. While Jason’s departure is long overdue, I have a gut feeling (and I’ve got a big gut) that we have not yet seen the end of his smiling, stoned mug. (By the way, Fat-Fat: 2 Tards, A Girl, and a StonerFace is the line of the year. Srsly.) To botch a song as badly as he did -and a Dylan song at that, where the lyrics are actually, you know, importatnt – has got to be the end of the road. But there was so much Simon vitriol coming his way that maybe, just maybe, the Vote for the Worst and his “base” might have risen up last night and saved his sorry butt. If Syesha goes before you do, Castro, you should just walk off the show. You don’t really want to be there anymore, anyway.

*Also, I hate “I Shot The Sheriff”. HATE. IT.

**And I pretty much don’t care for Bob Marley at all, either.

***Damn elitist arsehole that I am.



1. DougOLis - Wednesday, May 7, 2008

re Matt voting: I vote once a week because I feel like I have no right to voice my opinion or complain if I don’t actually vote. It’s like complaining about the results of an election when you don’t participate in the voting process.

DC1 – Sounds like a mediocre cover. Pretty boring actually. Why does everyone boo criticism? He could have chosen better.

Syesha1 – She looks squatty. 100 times covered and you still choose it? Brilliant! Doing good until the “come on y’all;” that was off-putting. It was a fun and good performance and she looked hot but for some reason it didn’t engage me. Is that Carly in the 1st row? She would have kicked ass tonight. Amanda too. I get the shrieky cover critique by Simon.

Jason1 – Hey, finally got one artist right! Jason seems kind of jittery but he’s actually into a song. Not great vocally though. Pure karaoke. I’m not impressed so far tonight.

DA1 – Ok, that intro by him is kind of creepy. This is pretty damn good. It fits him and vocally nails it until the end. Kind of an easy song but first good performance of the night.

DC2 – This could be good. Nice sultry slow start. Picks up nicely in the middle. I don’t like the arrangement at the end at all but it’s a great song and hard to screw up. Far better than his first and he should be ok.

Syesha2 – Great song. She looks good. If she asked me to remove my penis from her I wouldn’t. Wait…wait…that’s not how that goes is it? Kind of sultry and good but I don’t love the performance. The song works better in a lower register. Yeah, comparing yourself on AI to the Civil Rights Movement is going to work out great.

Jason2 – Ok, this is infinitely better at the start but forgetting the lyrics there is horrible. Fuck, it had so much potential. You can’t fuck up Dylan lyrics. I normally don’t care about flubbing lyrics, but Dylan is the lyrics and the message. Damn it. Jason is done and I don’t think he cares.

DA2 – You haven’t sung a big romantic song before? What fucking show have I been watching? This is American Idol right? Very dreamboatesque performance and thus I don’t really dig it. He’s fine though.

Cleary Jason was the worst. Who will join him in the bottom 2? Either Syesha or David Cook. Jason is obviously fine with leaving, but I also kind of get the impression that David Cook doesn’t really care about winning it. I’m not sure if either of them want to be saddled with the title of “American Idol.”

2. Fat-Fat - Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I wrote “harshing my buzz” but the damn program kept making it “hashing”. I thought I fixed it yet computer God fixed it back. ARghh.

3. AJ - Monday, May 12, 2008

I am a huge fan of American Idol this season.
My Picks Now are:
David Cook
Syesha Mercado – Probably will get beat out by archie
David Archuleta
Here is a cool site that I found that has some really neat drawings! My favorites are the David Cook ones and the Jason Castro ones. Check them out!!!

4. DeadOn - American Idol Top 4 (Recap) « The Wit and Wisdon of JB* - Thursday, June 12, 2008

[…] – American Idol Top 4 (Recap) The guys at DeadOn recap the performance of the Top 4 and how their efforts for a Hall of Fame night […]

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