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30 Rock 2.14 – Eat It Up, Cleveland Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Posted by The Bad One in the balls.
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Whoa, no teaser this week. Straight to the credits. When we do open, Jack is reading to the comatose Geiss about the rise of capitalism. He tries to scare Geiss out of it, but somehow the man in the coma doesn’t respond. Jack tells the unconscious Geiss about how Cathy has taken the reins of power. Cut to Cathy trying to push through the door to a bathroom. When the door doesn’t move, instead of pulling, she leaps against it, trying to break it down. Jack describes how he’s been forced out of his old office on the 52nd floor and sent down to 12. Twelve! He breaks down, sobbing.

In the writers’ room, Josh is describing a party he went to where he saw Marcus Schenkenberg, when Liz walks in with her big news. Floyd called her while she was on the treadmill, and– Pete is shocked that Liz was on the treadmill. Liz: “Yes Pete, I use it every day.” Cut to Liz on a treadmill that could double as a Boeing assembly line. I didn’t know they made ones that that use centimeters per hour.

Anyway, Floyd called to tell her that he just flew in from Cleveland on JetFun. Pete wants to know if that’s the airline with footbaths, but Jenna tells him he’s thinking about AirBike. “They also have in-flight pornos and NBC News.” JetFun is the one that hands out fresh popcorn. Liz is still worried, because Floyd wants to “crash” at her apartment, and she doesn’t know what that means. She reminds them that the last time she attempted to contact Floyd, some “Rust Belt tramp” answered that phone. Eight months later, she’s still trying to win the break-up. “I want to be Top Dog for once, instead of just Dog.” Jenna advises to pretend she’s doing great. Liz: “I *am* doing great!” Pete tries to consolingly take her hand for putting on such a brave face, but Liz isn’t having any of his sympathy. “I’m not gonna be Jan Brady. I’m gonna be Marsha, dammit.” She’s immediately hit in the face with a football, but her nose doesn’t break, so she takes it as a positive sign. I guess she can still pursue her modeling dreams.

Frank is shocked that an intern/PA/peon has never heard about the glories of Sandwich Day. On this sacred day, the Teamsters go out to an Italian deli so secret that nobody else knows its name. They load up hoagies, return to 30 Rock, and triumphantly stride through the halls, delivering union-fresh goodness to one and all.

In Jack’s office, Cathy Geiss has redecorated his office with Marky Mark posters and stuffed unicorns on every surface. I’m reliably informed by Veronica Mars that girls are just CRAZY for unicorns. Jack is dismayed by the transformation and gets back at Cathy by telling her that Mark Wahlberg hates unicorns. Jonathan can’t believe Jack is actually going down to the 12th floor. Jack knows that Banks’s plan is to force Jack out by humiliating him, but he’s resisting. “I’ve been sleeping with the Cindy Crawford of corporations for the last 22 years. What am I supposed to do, just lie down with some skank like 3M?” Jonathan wonders about his contacts in the Bush administration, but Jack scoffs at the suggestion. “I’d rather work for an American car company than jump on that sinking ship.” Before Jack leaves, Jonathan shows him a FRIENDS 4 EVA!!! collage he made, full of pictures of Jack and himself, and tells Jack that he made it. Jack: “No, you didn’t.” Undeterred, Jonathan sings the chorus from “I Will Remember You” to Jack as he leaves the office.

He’s just about to leave for his new dungeon when Liz catches him on the elevator. Liz: “I got a company-wide email from the new CEO that was just a link to cats wearing bow ties. Is everything OK?” He lies that it is, but she notices that Jack hit the button for 12. He tries to pass it off as a mistake, that he meant to hit “forty-twelve”, which is 52. Where his office is. And where he’s going. He jumps off the elevator as quickly as possible.

In the writers’ room, Frank, Josh, and Tracy are lamenting the end of Sandwich Day when they notice Lutz hasn’t finished his yet. Frank thinks he’s savoring it. “What, you think you’re better than us?” Dennis really rubbed off on Frank, didn’t he? Lutz tells them he can’t eat fast because of his surgery, but the three close in on him. Faced with the loss of his sandwich, Lutz wolfs down the rest of it. Lutz: “Oh, it’s like knives!” They spot Liz’s sandwich sitting on her desk, still in its paper an consider stealing it, even though she doesn’t react well when her food is taken. Cut to a screaming Liz flipping the conference table.. Tracy, ringleader of the Discount Brain Trust, comes up with a plan to pretend that Liz’s sandwich never came.

Liz isn’t eating her sandwich because she’s down on the stage waiting for Floyd, glasses off, made up, hair straightened, and in a smoking red dress. Floyd is suitably impressed when he sees her, telling her she looks great. “Do I? I’m pretty tired from playing as hard as I work.” She sounds like a ball-busting TV lawyer lady doing an athletic shoe commercial. Pete is stage-managing this production from the back of the theater. He brings up the lights and cues the air machine. Floyd continues on the one track his mind can handle at the moment and asks her to dinner. “Maybe we can hit that barbecue place you puked at.” Still in her haughty coo, she laughs and tells him, “You’ll have to be more specific.” He smiles and tells her he’ll see her back at the apartment. As soon as he leaves, Normal Liz returns. “Somebody get me out of this dress. I can’t breathe!”

The end of the commercial break is announced by objects thrown across the writers’ room. “WHERE’S MY SANDWICH?!!” Liz stomps in, armed with a giant fork and some sort of award/statuette, and the plan goes right out the window as “resistance” crumbles. Amidst the finger-pointing, Kenneth claims responsibility, because he saw what was going on and he let it happen. “And the only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. Liz: “I don’t know how, but you’re gonna get me another sandwich. Or I’ll cut your face up so bad you’ll have a chin.” She turns to threaten the Discount BrainHouse. “You’ll all have chins!

The elevator opens to let Jack out onto the 12th floor, home of GE’s gammas. Faced with the dim flicker of dying flourescent lights and people who can’t take the hint of a 0.0% raise year after year, Jack retreats. He goes to visit Geiss again, screaming at him to wake up.

Floyd and Liz are walking back from dinner. Liz: “Snow in May. Thank you, global warming, for extreme, unpredictable weather pattern.” Floyd: “There was actually a tornado downtown in Cleveland last week. Destroyed an entire city block. Three bowling alleys, a liquor store, and the liquor store museum.” What a blow, taking out the commercial heart of the city. Floyd asks her if she wants to get some dessert, but she sees that it’s already 4:30AM. Liz: “I haven’t stayed up this late since college.” Cut to Liz, who looks like she’s a year removed from study abroad in Frankfurt, laying out a D&D map. “And behind this trap door, more Orcs. This’ll really piss off Samir.”

Back in the present, Floyd tells her that sometimes he regrets leaving New York, like right now. Liz jokes that New York doesn’t have anything Cleveland doesn’t. She heard The Cleve is getting an Ikea, but Floyd will believe that when he sees it. “We’ve just been burned before.” Yeah, by the Cuyahoga River. He kisses her goodbye on the cheek and turns. Liz narrates Floyd getting into the cab and looking back at her, pleased with the way she’s pulled off the evening. “Eat it up, Cleveland,” she smirks as he drives off. Around the corner walks a group of hooting teenagers. “Oh God, youths.”

Jack is back with Geiss, telling him about how beautiful the city looks in the freak snow. Jack: “I even stopped to catch a snowflake with my tongue, but apparently that’s some sort of sign in Chelsea.” “You have to leave,” announces a high, reedy voice. Jack turns and sees an orderly telling him that visiting hours are over. In response to Jack’s question about his voice, the man tells him that he was struck by lightning as a child. “They made a movie about me.” Powder? When Jack turns back to Geiss, the man calls again. “You have to leave GE.” By which he means Geriatric Extended Care, the name of this ward of the hospital.

In the morning/late afternoon, Liz is waking up in her apartment. “In other global warming news, a tornado hit downtown Detroit last night, putting out several fires,” announces the radio. Kwame Kilpatrick is pissed that his new street-lighting initiative has hit a snag. Liz looks like a mess in her Spin Doctors shirt (Yostal: She must have Jimmy Olson’s blues) as she wakes up to give Jenna a recap of night. She goes to answer a knock at her door, still recapping (leave it to the amateurs, darling) and opens the door to…Floyd, who recoils at her appearance, trying to stile the “CRONE!!! he chokes out.

Tracy thinks it’ll be easy to hit up Teamster boss Brian Dennehy for another sandwich, but we find him doing a soft-shoe routine as Dennehy orders Lutz and Frank to kiss while Kenneth goes to find some girls. This is a bridge too far for Lutz, who instead tries to bond with the Teamsters. “I know what the long haul is like. After my junior year at Oberlin, we roadtripped to South By Southwest!” It turns out that the only way to get another sandwich is to beat the teamsters in a drinking contest.

Liz tries to quickly fix herself up, as a Band-Aid falls out of her hair. When Floyd tried to check in for his flight, he learned that his airline was cancelled. No flights, but they’ll still be making popcorn. This is what you get when Isiah Thomas is running your company. Floyd’s phone was dead, or he would have given her some warning, but he wants to hang around until he can find another flight. Awkward pause, then Liz can’t contain the crazy anymore. “Who was that bitch who answered your phone 8 months ago?

After the commercial, the water is still flowing through the breach in Liz’s sanity. “So what’s her lower back tattoo, a Chinese character that she thinks means ‘Peace’ but really says ‘I have chlamydia’?” Floyd claims he’s glad she’s bringing it up, but you can see the smoke rising from the seat of his pants. Suddenly, he pulls out his phone, checks it, and tells Liz that he has a flight in 40 minutes, but he wants to stay. “This is more important than getting home, or my partner meeting with Peter Venkman.” Liz tells him that he should go, but to call her later. He affirms her coolness and departs.

At 30 Rock, the sandwich miscreants are recruiting Jenna for their upcoming drinking contest, but she’s skeptical. Jenna: “What am I, 12 and at my boyfriend’s frat party?” Karl Malone wants to know what’s the big deal about that. Tracy can’t compete because of his “Hollywood sock” (AKA the ankle bracelet from Ludachristmas), Lutz’s recent surgery for his [PLEASE STAND BY] keeps him out, Kenneth doesn’t drink, and Frank is on antibiotics due to his fear that he lost a penny in his ear. Hearing them beg, Jenna acceeds to their request. “I’ll do it, but only for the attention.”

Liz is in the park, jogging to the only Meredith Brooks song anyone has ever heard of, only to find Floyd sitting on a bench. She begins to put together the pieces: Floyd bailed because he didn’t want to have that talk with her. His phone was dead, so he only pretended to get that email, and Peter Venkman was a Ghostbusters character, not a partner at his firm. “You used Ghostbusters for evil!” Floyd acknowledges that he was two steps from jumping out her window to escape, but he’s ready to give her a little dose of honesty. “I don’t know what girl you’re talking about! I’m a lawyer! I wear nice coats! I’m the Michael Clayton of Cleveland!” Liz: “Well, I hope your car blows up!” He points out that Liz also made a choice; he wanted her to move to Cleveland with him. Liz: “I’ll move to Cleveland when you get that Ikea: Never!” Floyd is incensed that she would deny the good people of Cleveland their Swedish furniture and its attendant collection of Allen wrenches.

In the den of the Teamsters, Jenna is asking for help. She’s had ten shots today, though only five in the contest. Things are looking dim for our crew, when Frank finds the penny, Tracy’s battery dies, and Kenneth discovers something about his past. Kenneth: “This smells just like hill people milk! I’ve been drinking this since I was a baby! MMMM. It’s on, y’all!” Magically, the sandwich has already appeared on Liz’s desk. Cut back to the contest, where everyone is friendly drunk, with the attendant horrible mangling of a drinking song.

Jack catches her slinking into work at 6:30, so she lies to him about working from home. He sees through it, so she recaps her recent Floydster experiences to Jack. As usual, Jack has good advice for her: “Lemon, life is about minimizing regrets. You never know when someone’s going to slip into a coma and leave you regretting all the things you didn’t say…or get in writing from the company’s lawyers.” He goes on. “You’re…young [Alec Baldwin’s hand gesture says “-ish” perfectly] and still haven’t blown it completely, so don’t start now.”

And with that, Liz takes off for the airport, sandwich in tow, and immediately mistakes another tall guy for Floyd. To get through security, she buys the cheapest AirBike ticket to anywhere. Of course, a TSA screener stops her. The dipping sauce for her sandwich is over 3 oz. She explains how she’s trying to catch Floyd. “That’s sort of a cliche,” scoffs the lady screener, to which Liz retorts, “You’re sort of a cliche.” Yeah, not the way to help your cause, Liz. TSA: “One way ticket to Montreal, crazy eyes. I should detain you.” See? Left with no other options, Liz unwraps the sandwich and begins devouring it. TSA: “You’re choosing a sandwich over a guy? That is less cliched.” Mid-bite, Liz responds, “I can do it! I can have it all!” This is an Emmy scene. The oner of Liz engulfing the whole sandwich is absolute gold

Sandwich consumed, Liz tears through the metal detector and mistakes another guy for Floyd. Something of a degree of difficulty to this one, as this guy is black. Floyd sees her and stops her before she goes up to every tall guy in the terminal. She takes the opportunity to minimize her regrets. “I don’t want your car to explode, and I don’t want you to go into a coma. And I don’t want to stab you in the face with a giant fork.” Floyd: “What?” Liz: “Oh, that’s not you. I’ve been threatening a lot of people lately.” Tina Fey’s delivery is what makes the previous line so perfect. Liz: “I wolfed my Teamster sub for you.” Floyd, a little worried: “Is that a saying?” He tries to return his key to her apartment, but she turns him down, asking him to keep it just in case.

As Floyd takes off down the jetway, Liz turns around as MSNBC confirms that Jack is leaving GE to become the new Homeland Security director for Crisis and Weather Management. Dun dun DUN!!!

Another great episode from this show. Floyd is wonderful at assuming the straight man role, and I wish he’d come back from Cleveland. I love it when Liz can’t keep it perfectly together. The Sandwich Day story was the weakest one, and the Jack story took a backseat once Floyd came into the picture, but we had solid plots throughout. Liz’s TSA scene was gold, as was the line “You used Ghostbusters for evil!”. One more episode this season, folks.



1. Yostal - Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Brilliant recap as always my good man. I will note that I like the notion of the Discount Brain Trust and will see if we can get it in a fight with the Tireman mascot from Belle Tire.

2. Remont-art - Thursday, May 22, 2008

It is really so, but some aspects are missed or disputable. I’ve looking for this information for a long time! What more can I find about it?

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