American Idol Roundtable – Top 6 Week Recap Wednesday, April 23, 2008Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, jerkwheat, reality TV, singing?.
Yep. That was kinda ugly, although it could have gone worse. We’ve survived Andrew Lloyd Webber week – isn’t Neil Effing Diamond week next? I hope so. The roundtable speaks after the jump – sans Matt_T, who took a chance to see the Nats whip the Braves instead. Granted, he saw Smoltz’s 3000th K and didn’t have to sit through an hour of showtunes – I still say FAIL. The EPIC FAIL of ALW week…AFTER THE JUMP!
It’s about time a trainwreck theme delivers on its promise, but this week wasn’t as bad as I feared. They never are. Syesha led the night off with a good, not great performance from Starlight Express. This is one I didn’t know, but it was entertaining enough and should be good enough to keep her around. Jason Castro did not fare nearly so well. I have no idea what made him think his voice could carry “Memory”, but the message is clear – Kids, Don’t Do Drugs. Marijuana will give you delusions of grandeur. Credit given for not trying to turn it into a Jack Johnson sing-a-long. That might have been more entertaining. Strong chance of going home tonight for Jason, but he wasn’t alone in his misery. Brooke follows with an equally rough job – complete with another false start for her. She recovered as well as could be expected, but the mistake was in her head. This week wasn’t made for her as it was. That performance is probably all she wrote. The back half of the show was much stronger. Archie went to the Phantom well for “Think of Me” – which is sung by a lady generally – and handled it well, as we expected this week. It was even kinda poppy and upbeat – a rare sighting in Dreamboatland. Carly gave us one of the more entertaining performances of the night, belting out the always schlocky and fun “Jesus Christ Superstar”. David Cook gets the pimp slot of the night (which he earned after last week, I’d say) and ends our night with “Music of the Night”. Cook does a surprisingly good job with it. Who knew Cook could lose the grunge gig and get all theatrical on us? He’s starting to grow on me. The bottom two tonight should be obvious – Jason and Brooke. Jason could get saved by his voting bloc and I think Brooke leaves us tonight.
Jason Castro is such a gaybait. I mean, who even likes this guy? I know some in the northwest are big fans but we know they all smoke weed, riot at WTO meetings and visit “alternative” bookstores. Am I right? Right.
Anyway we have Andrew Lloyd Webber tonight. UGG. Talk about a suck fest of bad music. And he also looks weird. Gay elf? I don’t know. I am on some gay streak already…
Don’t fuck it up gals and guys…(even Jason will Fo Sho!)
1. Syesha will sing… I missed the song name…She is looking hot. Very sexy. She wants me. She is singing very well and it’s totally cabaret. Obviously likes having the band on the stage. She’s dancing and flirting. She seems comfortable in this setting and definitely knew she would kick ass. She kicked ass. Randy likes it. Paula sputters words. Simon thought it was sexy. Everyone loves it so do I. Bottom 3 Fat-Fat? You are wrong. I will point out that Jason C. thought her version of this song really lacked hula dancing.
2. Weirdo is up. His reaction to singing ALW was “heeeyyyyyyy”. He is going to sing “Memory”. That’s a song from Cats. Only people who like the Seahawks like this song. He looks rather idiotic in his little white suit. He is missing low notes. Missing a lot of notes really. This arrangement is good but how could they mess up the stock arrangement. This is kind of like watching your daughter sing at her first recital. FAIL. I don’t want MOAR. Randy hated it. I agree. Paula is lucid and says the song choice was….GOOD! She is failing at being an idiot now. Simon agrees it sucked. It was miserable. Jason in the bottom three? Book it like a pederast who goes to Thailand to spin.
3. Brooke is up next. Yum. She is singing “You Must Love Me” from Evita. She may not do well. Her ass is sexy in those jeans. SHE FORGOT THE FUCKING LYRICS! And she starts over. She has recovered so far but sounds like she got hit by a truck. There are tears in her eyes. She is obviously remembering that this song is about Evita dying…like her chances. So long my dear Brooke. So long. I will meet you at the Olive Garden in Greenfield and be sure to rock some pigtails. I LOVE YOU!
4. Dreamboat is up. He is going to rock the house or something. Preteens that may vault him to victory join him onstage. He will be crooning “Think of Me”. I guess he arranged it differently but weird faced writer says it’s good. First line seemed very shaky to me but now his voice is strong. Does a nice run or two. I swear one girl just got her first pube in the front row. Ends with a nice ending note but the crowd overwhelms it. It was good. No doubt. Randy loves it and says he is the one to beat…duh. Paula likes it. Simon was bored and said it’s forgettable. Hmm. I guess I can agree with that but it was very good.
5. Carly is next in line and will vocalize “Superstar” from JCS. ALW changes the song for her. He was correct. She is knocking this out of the park. Man. I would love to see her do a set of Black Crowes. Not the same I know but it would be awesome. IMO this is my favorite performance by her. And I like her. Brilliant. Randy thinks his shit don’t stank. Paula vomits good things. Simon said it was a lil shouty but one of his favorites.
David Cook sing the song is “The Music of the Night.” ALW is making very uncomfortable at this point. He really wants David. Sounds more like “Silent Night” Man his hair is ridiculous. He sounds better when he goes full throat. (that’s what ALW said). He hit’s a nice big note. GOD THIS IS BORING. Randy likens it to lava. Paula creams herself. Simon likes the grittier version of emo but says he made the most with it I guess.
This is tough. I picked all girls for the bottom and that shouldn’t happen after tonight. I will go with Brooke, Jason ( of course…look at him..and did you hear him..) and Carly (I think Syesha was better). I hate to say it but you fucked up Brooke. You prevented Jason from possibly going home. That’s not cool. Bye Brooke.
I apologize in advance – it has been another one of “those” days, so I am watching AI on DVR about three hours after it ended (and will be unable to vote for my favorite seventeen times, as is customary. Why seventeen? Dizzy Dean, of course.) Anyway, I am going to dispense with the pleasantries and get to the singing. Also – I repeat I do not know a large number of the songs, so if you are a musical theater aficionado, do not take offense.
Odds, of course, are that I will not and will ramble at many points. Also, when they bring out the Idols every week (good goggly mogly, Carly is freaking hot) I cannot help but think of the top of the hour at strip clubs when they parade all the dancers, then have the two-for-one dance specials.
Syesha leads us off, looking good and sounding good too. That doesn’t bode well for my predictions. Her very jazzy “One Rock and Roll Too Many” is great. She starts out on the piano and just gets better from there. This showcased her perfectly, though Simon’s comment that it was very sexy is a tad creepy.
Jason Castro – not in a hulu skirt, to Seahawks08 dismay – gives us “Memory”. Shocker – he starts out from the seated position, quietly singing. He has a nice eggshell white cream?) outfit, too. This song is probably a good choice for him – it suits his style – but frankly, it wasn’t very good at all. That said, I don’t know how he has going to do well. Randy didn’t care for it, Paula thinks he has a hard situation since so many people associate it with a female singer (though the comparison to a pop ballad and Joe Crocker was a real stretch), and Simon called it the longest two minutes of his life. Like he never hit for a slumpbuster.
Also – why does Earth Day matter so much this year? All the TV stations, various websites, companies, etc are all trumpeting being green and environmentalism. Someone finally flip the consciousness of Big Business? Or did two or three big companies start it so everyone hopped onboard?
Brooke White is “From the Heart”. She, too, is seated, but unlike Jason, she looks scared as she starts out… oh, shit, she forgot the words, and immediately apologizes. I think it is unintentional, but her voice carries a crack to it that while not being the best sound of song, also conveys the vulnerability and emotion of the song. She already looks ready to cry, not that I can fault her. The judges were not big fans… but as “The Weakest Link” always said, it is the votes that count.
Added bonus – Simon and Randy both saying she did the right thing by stopping and resetting, while Paula keeps insisting you should never do that.
Dreamboat! To the squeals of a fanbase who would never dream of sitting through a musical, he asks everyone to “Think of Me”. It is the performance one would expect from Dreamboat, but not as strong as I figured he would be. Thankfully, his father had a dog stashed in his fannypack to start kicking immediately.
Does Andrew Lloyd Webber blink?
Oh, Carly Smithson… “All I Ask of You” is unprintable here. Thankfully, Sir Webber has her switch to “Jesus Christ, Superstar”. Also – were there fake people in the balconies in the mentoring scenes? Christ, she is absolutely killing on Superstar. Er, pardon the unintended pun. Also – thigh high leather boots are always a great choice, ladies. Always. This perfectly displayed her voice and talents, and I am pleased that my picks for the bottom two so far are the best two of the night so far. The judges dug it, and the t-shirt of “Simon Loves Me (this week)” is a funny touch sure to capture a few votes.
David Cook will do “Music of the Night”, and I think everyone has to be surprised to hear EmoBoy grew up in the musical theater. This is a huge departure musically for him, which will probably miff Simon, despite his constant comments about contestants branching out. He is solid, but the problem is it may be forgettable – it certainly may turn off some of his fanbase. Of course, going last, that may not be a big penalty.
Best two – Carly, Syesha
Middle two – The Davids
Bottom two – Brooke, Castro
Voting wise – Brooke and Castro as well, with Brooke going home (sadly). Forgetting the words is probably unforgivable at this point.
All in all, some great performances and some brutal ones. Seriously, who the hell thought this week was a good idea, and hopefully they won’t be back for next season.
Yes, JB* those were fake people in the balcony during the mentoring scenes. Having just attended Phantom with the missus at the Venetian in Vegas (where they met ALW), I can attest to that. Also, we are unanimous in our thought that this is the end for Brooke. We’ll find out in a few hours…