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Real World Recap: You’re So Vain Friday, April 18, 2008

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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Ladies and Gentleman, the 20th season of The Real World began on MTV this past Wednesday, and with it Bunim/Murray Productions has finally acknowledged what we all knew – the kids on this show are some fake-ass people. This season the house is located in Hollywood, and all of the roommates were picked specifically because of their desire to work in the entertainment industry. So, just like most of the roommates on previous seasons, these people are attention-whores – it’s just that this time around they are being honest about it. Join me after the jump for a full introduction.

Let’s meet the cast first, shall we?

(1) Joey (the urge to call this kid “Joey Bag O’ Donuts” is almost irresistible) – 24 years old, from Chicago, Joey first comes across as the stereotypical meathead. This image is not helped when we find out that he is a personal trainer, and former bodybuilder who took steroids and had an addiction problem. Hmm…Addiction, ‘roid rage – this guys is perfect! Joey wants to be an actor

(2) Kimberly – 24 years old, Columbia, SC, Kimberly comes across as the stereotypical Southern belle who will inadvertently make racist comments and then say things like “I am not supposed to say that, y’all?” She is just breaking out of the shadow of her restrictive parents (hello, naked Kimberly!) and wants to be an entertainment reporter (look out Seacrest!)

(3) Dave – 22 years old, Bumblefuck, PA, Dave comes across as the stereotypical all-American jock. He is so vanilla that this is all there is to say about him. He wants to be an actor/TV host

(4) Sarah – 20 years old, Phoenix, Sarah comes across as the dual-personality party girl/serious student due to the fact that she just graduated from Arizona State University with a degree in broadcast journalism (presumably, she does not wish to work for ESPN). Sarah has a boyfriend, who used to be her debate coach

(5) Will – 23 years old, Detroit, Will is a DJ and music producer, and fancies himself as a ladies man.

(6) Brianna – 20 years old Philadelphia, Brianna wants to be a singer and appeared on Season 5 of American Idol. What does she do for a living?

(7) Greg – 20 years old, Daytona Beach, Greg was voted into the house in the first-ever fan poll for Real World casting. His screen name in the contest, “PretyBoy”, sums him up fairly accurately. It is rumored that the doors in the house had to be widened to accomodate his HUGE FUCKING EGO. Greg wants to be a model.

The season opens with Joey and Kimberly walking around LA aimlessly, until they finally meet up at a diner. They go outside to begin their journey to the house and discover that a vintage car, complete with driver, is waiting to take them on a tour. Of all the momentous spots in Los Angeles, the one they get the most excited about it driving in front of the Chateau Marmont (sadly, no LiLo sighting).

We then see Sarah waiting on a boardwalk. Dave meets up with her, and they get into his car (so he drove all the way from Pennsylvania?) to find the house.

Next up are Will and Brianna who meet on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and take a cab to the house.

Joey and Kimberly are the first to arrive at the house, and Joey is immediately excited when he sees all of the fitness equipment. As they wander around the house, the viewers are supposed to notice that the interior and exterior are reminiscent of many movie sets.

Will and Brianna arrive, and almost immediately we are treated to Kimberly’s first faux-pas when she notes that she is “shocked that someone so cute could come from Detroit.” Yes, because Detroit is seemingly inhabited by 850,00 fugly people, bitch! The 4 of them pick rooms and begin to discuss their career aspirations. Dave and Sarah arrive soon after, and the 6 of them begin talking about Greg, as everyone already knew that he was the “online roommate.”

Greg arrives at the house (very well-dressed, I am forced to admit), and with everyone there, the alcohol comes out. This is soon followed by people putting on their bathing suits, which leads to Dave wandering around the girls’ bedroom naked. For some reason, the girls figure that this is the appropriate time to speak to Greg about his attitude towards women (whom he calls “associates”), and Sarah immediately dislikes him. Of course this talk leads to Brianna discussing her volatile relationship with her ex-boyfriend, and she tells everyone that she is a stripper, which impacts Will’s opinion of her. Everyone gets ready to go out and celebrate their first night, and people are increasingly annoyed by Greg, who calls other people “peasants” and voices his displeasure with their choice of restaurant/bar/club.

The next morning we are treated to a montage of all of the roommates on the phone (not all at once, they would be indechiperable, conversationally) talking to friends back home about their roommates, or in the confessional discussing their first impressions. While Greg is busy making breakfast (and is considerate enough to ask the girls if they would like some), Brianna talks to Will about his negative impression of her after finding out that she is a stripper. This conversation is interrupted by a phone call from Brianna’s roommate from Philly, who tells her that she has a warrant out for her arrest for simple assault/harassment.  Brianna calls the court in Philly and is told that she needs to return for an arraignment. She is pissed off, since her ex-boyfriend had said that he would drop the charges, so she calls him to find out what is going on. Immediately after getting on the phone, her ex-boyfriend, Bobby, asks Brianna if she hadn’t gotten laid the night before. Not surprisingly, this leads to an argument and she hangs up on him. The girls ask Brianna about the arrest, and she tells them that she hit Bobby after he had thrown her against the wall.

That night, we see Will break-dancing, and after watching him for a little while Sarah tells him that she doesn’t want her gum anymore and sticks out her tongue. Will leans in and takes her gum (with his tongue!) and they briefly kiss. As everyone leaves to go out, Sarah notices that she forgot her purse, and Will volunteers to go back to the house with her. He takes the opportunity to tell her that he has a “Kindergarten Crush” on her. Meanwhile, everyone else heads out the a club, but once there Greg decides that he does not want to wait in line to get in, and he leaves.

Back at the house, Will and Sarah are in the confessional, looking like they are going to perform the first-ever Real World porno. He tells her that he likes her, and she asks him to go back to his room. Unfortunately for Will, all they do is talk, and as everyone else returns home they run out of the room so that everyone doesn’t think that they were having sex. Sarah grabs Kimberly and tells her what happened.

After a little while, the hot-tubbing begins, and Greg makes fun of Joey for wearing a T-shirt into the hot tub. The girls tell Greg to get in with them, so he changes into his bathing suit and a T-shirt (to mock Joey) and comes back into the room. Joey gets really upset and leaves the room, and eventually some of the girls join him to hear him vent. Brianna then goes in to tell Greg that he is pissing everyone off, and he responds with “I don’t want to apologize to anyone, I just won’t talk to y’all.” This leads to Brianna, Kimberly, Dave and Joey in the confessional, talking smack about Greg, which he overhears. After talking to his mother about the situation, Greg analyzes the situation by noting that “I am Greg, and I am perfection. I don’t need these peasant” (oh, this will end well).

The episode ends with Joey talking to Brianna about cutting her ex-boyfriend out of her life in order to keep moving forward and achieve her dreams (cliche alert!).

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Comments»

1. Jerkwheat - Friday, April 18, 2008

Shit, I suppose I am gonna have to watch this on the ol DVR afterall…

Also, where is the token ghey? Will it end up being Greg? Joey?

2. Rockabye - Monday, April 21, 2008

I’m calling it: There is no token gay, unless Brianna’s bi. Kimberly’s Southern belle to the hilt, Will is just boho, Greg’s an ass, Sarah’s really cute/two drinks from no clothes, and I’m not sure how Joey and Danny (no, wait, Dave) made it past a casting call unless their tapes were them acting like Wite-Out.

Seriously: The Real World can’t get better people than this?

3. DougOLis - Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Joey: meathead/potential douchefuck
Kimberley: Wants to be a reporter for E! News, that’s uh, pretty specific
Dave: brotastical
Sarah: yes, 20 and already graduated? Damn, she must actually not be completely dumb. Yeah, Dave’s going to pork her.
Will: seems like he might be pretty cool
Brianna: gonna get fucked by Will, must be a decent but not great singer to only make Top 45

Dude, Joey is getting a serious hardon for the gym. This house is ridiculous. They should have made the bedrooms specific TV bedrooms though.

Hand chair! Buster! Michael Scott!

Was Greg smoking a blunt before getting in the hot tub? Does he remind anyone of Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm last season?

4. Rockabye - Thursday, April 24, 2008

Greg, proud criminology junior at the University of Florida.

Go make an ass of yourself on MTV. Go Gators.

5. KRISSY*MAD*GHETTO - Thursday, April 24, 2008

KIMBERLY IS A RACIST BITCH AND SOMEONE SHOULD KICK HER ASS!! DON’T COME TO MY HOOD BITCH BECAUSE WE WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IT’S LIKE TO REALLY GET GHETTO ON YOUR ASS!!!! YOU MAKE WHITE PEOPLE LOOK RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!


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