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American Idol Roundtable – Top 9 Week Recap Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, Bloggers Gone Wild, I don't get out much, jerkwheat, music, TV.

So, to be perfectly honest with you, last night was not quite the trainwreck that I had envisioned it would be. I think most of the crew sang well, if not great. I’m having a hard time deciding who exactly deserves a one way ticket out of Hollywood tonight – thankfully, the rest of the crew has plenty to say about the matter of Dolly Parton Week….after the jump.


Well to start tonight Ryan gives possibly the lamest April fools ‘joke’ of all time.

Brooke – “Jolene” And she’s playing the guitar. She’s backed up with a fiddle, guy beating on the box and one background singer.  She sounds very good.  I really liked this stripped down performance, her voice is really shining.  She flashes a smile to someone in the crowd and ends with an a capella tag which was great.

David Cook – “Little Sparrow”  Before the performance he says how he’s found his arrangements and finally credits the artists he’s bit the past few weeks.  He says this week its his own arraignment.  It looks like he’s got a slightly less emo haircut.  He starts out a little rough, but once the song picks up he sounds much better, he hits a few falsetto notes which I liked a lot.  The ending is rather strange though.

Ramiele –  “Do I ever cross your mind”  Not a bad performance, much better than last week.  But I have to agree with Simon it does sound very cruise ship.  Not very inspiring, but she wasn’t terrible.

Jason – “Traveling Through” He’s on guitar and he’s got some bongos in the background.  I’m reminded of Rusted Root.  Its a little bit more energetic than the past few weeks, he doesn’t looked as stoned. I have a feeling the two are related.  I enjoyed it, it wasn’t earth shattering, but he did sound good.

Carly – Well, they didn’t give the name of the song and I don’t recognize it, but she sounded amazing and she didn’t have the crazy looks that she has in the past.  Simon for some reason decides to criticize what she’s wearing, which is rather odd.

David Archuletta – “Smoky Mountain Memories” What a surprise, another damn ballad.  Yawn.  I wish he’d get called out and try something different.  Yes he sounds nice, and yes he’s got a great voice, but I think even lite rock stations would be bored by this.

KLC – Didn’t catch the name of this one either.  But this is right in her wheelhouse.  She sounds like every southern girl singing in church.  Definitely a solid follow up after last week.

Hey, Vanna White is in the building!

Syesha – “I Will Always Love You”  She looks gorgeous again.  This arrangement is horrible, the tempo seems to jump all over the place.  Its like a weird hybrid of Dolly and Whitney’s versions.  But she nails the big note.  Hey, that turned out really good.

Michael Johns – And again they didn’t say the name of the song.  Fox, you may want to fix that.  He’s wearing an ascot or something else ridiculous.  This is some ballad, his voice sounds really bluesy and smoky, I liked it.

I thought Dolly was a good mentor, she seemed to really enjoy working with the kids.

I’m having a hard time predicting the bottom 3:  Best guess, KLC, Remiele and Syesha with KLC going home in a mild surprise.


Ahhhh. Dolly Parton night. Who doesn’t just love that? Me that’s who. I just hope to hear some songs sung well regardless of the song. I do want Carly to do “Jolene” though.

Here we go and don’t fuck it up guys and gals.

Ryan opens with a lame ass April Fool’s Day joke. So transparent. It’s only Tuesday night. Stupid and not funny.

(Dolly Parton looks like a fucking mess!)

1. Brooke is going to do “Jolene.” God speed my beauty. I hope you can do it. Looks pretty as always. I actually think this is very good but a bit boring. She sounds good. She looks good. But it was meh. Seems there was a lack of emotion for the song at hand. Randy says OK. Paula says she put her heart and soul in it. I don’t know about that. HOLY SHIT. Simon agrees with me. (I write this on the fly people)!!

2. David C. is up. NOW HE IS CREDITING THE ARTISTS! Hw is going to sing “Little Sparrow.” Whatever that is.  He singing is pretty good. Very Rusted Root which I am digging. I really loved it  Doing his own arrangement was obviously due to internet pressure. Randy loves it. Paula loves it. Simon thinks it good for singing about sparrows. HA! I loved it.

3. Earthworm Lips is up. She is singing some song. She sounds good. And that goes out the window at the bridge (or verse?). She is struggling with the low notes and is just all over the place. I didn’t like it and she should finally go home unless someone (KLC) shits their pants.

/shit pants

4. Jason C is up. He is singing something again. Am I missing the song names? I must be. Well, he’s playing guitar which is nice for him. Doesn’t help his singing though. His volume is weak. Plus this song sucks deer penis. Could be the first opener of a four bill gig for Jack Johnson. I didn’t like it. It was sugary, poppy, and craptastic. May make bottom 3. Randy is OK with it. Paula gagged on it (in a good way). Simon hated. I agree.

5. Carly is going to sing “Here You Come Again” (on my own).. She’s looking great and is projecting her strong ass voice upon the masses.  I love just her and the guitar and her last notes were fucking awesome! I give it a gold star. Randy loved it. Paula turned to mush and wants Carly for take out. Simon thought it was good. And he digs on her clothes. HAHA. That’s why I like him though. Her pants are kinda bad looking. Whatever, she was great.

6. Dreamboat is up and singing “Smokey Mountain Recipes” or something. Dolly has tear ducts and the wept a salty discharge. Is this capable of singing anything besides syrupy fucking garbage? Probably not. He sounds good and had a problem with a high note. Overall it was a typical Dreamboat selection. Randy , Paula, and Simon all masturbate over it. Good job.

7. KLC is up and looking fucking hot. She is singing a song about Dolly’s mom. I think it’s called “My Back Hurts Because My Fetus Is Already A C-Cup.” Something like that. I love KLC’s dress actually and she is singing very well. I like when a gals hair is pulled back. This song was made for her and I thought she did a great job. She should stay and cements in my mind Ramiele will go home. Randy really has no opinion. Paula loved it. Simon blahed it.

8. Syesha is singing “IWALU.” Of course she is. Jesus Dolly can’t move her mouth. Syesha’s hair looks like crap. She is singing it closer to Dolly’s version though. That is a good thing. Now she switched it up to the Whitney way. HITS A GIGANTIC NOTE A THE END! LUNGS EXPIRING. Holy Hell. She should have stayed with the OG version. It wasn’t bad at all though. She made her case to stay and she will.

9. MJ is up next. Christ Parton looks like a lobster. I like the elec with the piano version of this song I don’t know.  Pretty soulful and very Black Crowes. I dig that. He ain’t no Chris Robinson though. He’s safe.

Bottom? Ramiele, KLC, and Jason C. Who’s leaving? Ramiele.


Oh Ryan, you and your April Fool’s humor are oh so not witty.

Brooke White will open us up, and to my disappointment, she gets “Jolene”, and turns in a performance which has my four year old dancing.  I think it lacked the sound of the pain that made the original so wonderful, but this was good.  Randy doesn’t think it was stellar, and I agree – it was good, but not awesome.  Paula talks about her heart and soul or something.  I think she is drunk.  She points out that “you…are… Brooke… White.”  Well, yeah.  Simon’s point is it lacked emotion, which is similar to the pain I meant.  She seemed almost upbeat during it, and Jolene is not an upbeat song.

David Cook and Ramiele are our performers after the break.  DCook will bring us “Little Sparrow” in what Mrs.JB* calls a Bon Jovi-esque performance.  I’d say it is good, though will wait for the others to tell us whose performance he just lifted.  I would call it successful since I would stop to hear it on the radio.  Randy likes it, Paula likes his hair, and Simon says it is not as good as last week, though he made a song about sparrows good.

Ramiele’s song is “Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?”, complete with steel guitar.  Crap – she is not entirely terrible.  I’m batting a thousand tonight.  Randy puts it best – “I wasn’t jumping up and down, but I wasn’t entirely mad at you either” and Simon references a cruise ship performance.  Perhaps a reference to her buddy Danny.

Jason Castro is receiving all sorts of fan mail, apparently, and Dolly cannot help but pull his dreads.  He’ll be doing “Travelin’ Thru”.  It’s a faster tempo than his past performances, but he keeps the same half-stoned look on his face.  I’d say his best performance of the competition, though many, of course, will still prefer Hallelujah.  As usual, two-third of the judges liked it – gee, guess which did not?

Carly!  “Here You Come Again”, which I picked for Dreamboat.  She is great up until the very end when she struggled a bit with the real high note.  Mrs.JB loves the outfit, but Simon hates it – saying it doesn’t look like a star.  While Simon talks about her performance and how it was good but not blow you away. Paula blathered about how she looks more beautiful.  If only this were a popularity contest and not a singing… huh.

Dreamboat will perform “Smoky Mountain Memories” which is… okay, I guess.  I think it is a fine singing performance, but not a great American Idol song.  All the judges love it, as do the mosh pit.

Oh lord, it is KLC time with the “The Coat Of Many Colors”, while wearing a peacock feather-eye themed dress.  Why is she barefoot?  On the plus side, she is feeling the song – sporadically closing her eyes and moving her head with the song.  She hits the song, but I don’t expect it to sit well with the voting base.

Hey, Vanna White!

Syesha, you foolish foolish girl.  Why would you do that?  You are just opening yourself up to being blasted for doing “I Will Always Love You”.  All I can say is it was okay, but when you take on that song, you’re going to come up short.

I am amazingly surprised at the lower than expected number of commercials for the Moment of Truth.

Michael Johns closes us out with “It’s All Wrong But It’s All Right”… and this sounds like a Michael Bolton rendition.  This is bad, just bad.  Paula must actually be drinking at the desk, since she got more batty through the night, though the judges disagree.

Idol runs over, so my DVR cuts off, but since I am home I get to see it.  No shock, though, they don’t cut them off.  No one really stood out big time, but no one was god awful terrible – except for the show, for not announcing song titles.  The bottom three is so tough, here at half past 8 pm I just called all the numbers, and got through every single time – no busy signals.  Not sure what that says about tonight.

Anyway, Bottom Three, I’ll go with Ramiele (forgettable), Syesha (backlash), and KLC (because the country fans who are watching won’t like her taking on Dolly).  Going home – I’ll stick with my pre-show vote of Ramiele.

In Conclusion… 

Ramiele, Syesha, and Kristy Lee seem to be our favorites to go home every week, and they’ll probably remain that way until the three of them are all sent packing. I think Ramiele is the most forgettable of the crew and with 3 votes out of 4, she is our favorite to be sent home this week. So, uh, expect it to be someone else.



1. DougOLis - Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Brooke – good but kind of boring. Lacking the emotion that Carly could have brought; waste of a good song. I agree with Simon

David – not bad at all. Son of a bitch stole my haircut though. Was Simon traumatized by a Sparrow as a child? First Carly during the 2nd Beatles week and now this.

Ramiele – meh, it wasn’t as bad as some of her other stuff but it wasn’t good. Probably could have picked a better song or mixed it differently. She annoys me with all the bouncing.

Jason – very good song for him, don’t agree with Simon at all

Carly – not at all what I expected out of her but it was excellent as always. Nice for her to mix it up and do a ballad. What the hell is Simon’s problem tonight? Apparently he detests anything that’s mildly country; fucking Brit

David – super de duper. It was good but he’s going to need to mix it up at some point. He does the same thing each week which leads me to believe he won’t be a great American Idol/success even if he does have a great voice. Not sure if his ceiling is even to Clay Aiken’s level.

KLC – haha, that dress is hilarious. Fine performance. Missed a few spots but was decent all around.

Syesha – seems to have done more of the Whitney mix which doesn’t surprise me; that’s probably a bad choice though cause you’re not fucking Whitney Houston. Fine in the beginning but doesn’t stand up. She seriously fucked up the ending.

Michael – wasn’t perfect but it was very good, one of the best tonight.

Bottom 3: Syesha, KLC, and Jason with Syesha to go home
Ramiele might be in the bottom 3 but she’s not gone yet. She still hasn’t tortured us enough. The power of the Pacific Islander will send her into the top 5.

2. JB* - Thursday, April 3, 2008

Yay for last night!

Though wow – Brooke in the Bottom Three? What the hell?

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