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American Idol Roundtable – Top 10 Week Recap Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, jerkwheat, reality TV, TV.

Another performance show has come and gone and so has Kristy Lee Cook’s sense of decency and respect for her fellow contestants. Paula wore some bizarre gloves, Simon acknowledged the genius of good ol American jingoism, Randy said “dawg”, and our eardrums were insulted. It’s just another week of American Idol – follow the jump to pick up the discussion…


Ohmygod did Kristy Lee Cook really sing “God Bless The USA” tonight? Next week she’ll show us all how she taught Mike Vick’s pitbulls how to love again and then take us to the orphanage were she was raised and volunteers 10 hours every day. I realize I’m an absolute total cynic, but my goodness that was the most crass push for votes I have ever witnessed on the teevee. WHO VOTES AGAINST ‘MERICA? TERRORIST LOVERS THAT’S WHO! YOU MUST HATE THE TROOPS YOU COMMIE PINKO LIBERAL OBAMA VOTING PRIUS DRIVING WINE SIPPING NANCY BOY!!  Gaaaaaaah!

As for the other performances…Ramiele blew. I feel confident in my picking her departure this week. “Alone” was waaaay too much of a big-girl song for her. She’s our logical pick for departure. I thought Carly could have been better with “Total Eclipse of the Heart” (which has been karaoked to death at this point in human existence). I’m sick to death of Archuletta and his freaking “message songs”. What the hell was that? SRSLY?!? Everything else was kinda blah, like the season in general. Michael Johns did a perfectly serviceable Queen, Keze was Keze, Syesha diva-ed it up, Brooke was cute and OK (even with a false start), and David Cook got extra credit for the judges for channeling Chris Cornell’s version of “Billie Jean”. One of these days he’s going to have to acknowledge where these arrangements are coming from.


Here we go again. Hopefully a couple turn in some stunners tonight because it has been ho-hum. Expect KLC to go tonight. Will Carly be in the bottom three again? Will Brooke fight back from what I thought was a bad performance? Will Hillary just admit there wasn’t any snip…sorry. Neither time nor place. I also promise one review of the ten singers in AOL speak.

Off we go Ladies and Gents!

1. Ramiele up in the forgettable spot. May be good for her if people fail later. She is singing Alone by Heart. This is not an easy song to sing. She starts great. She is very pitchy during the part you don’t want to be pitchy. NOW SHE’S JUST FUCKING SCREAMING!!!! Turrible! Randy softens the blow but thinks it bad.  Paula makes excuses. Simon mostly agrees with me but backs her.  Maybe if she had her voice she could have done better. Do I care? No. It stunk. Bottom 3.

2. Jason C. is up next. It’s his B-day. He’s safe. I am starting to believe he is not very bright and/or smokes a lot of weed. He will do Fragile by Sting.  He’s playing the guitar again which I like. Sounds good as usual. The song is boring  me. Yawn. Singing in a different language again. WTF! Pretty redundant if you ask me. ESL students will vote in droves. I didn’t care for it but he’ll be back. He is starting to really, really BORE me. Randy and Paula agree it’s not new. Simon hates it. I agree but didn’t think he guitar playing was the problem.

3. Syesha is up and will sing …never mind she just did a creepy baby cry. Nightmares. Anyway she is doing If I Were Your Woman by  someone? Looks pretty as always.  She sounds good for the most part but sounds like she is stretching her voice towards the end. It was still pretty damn good. Randy and Paula like her. Simon agrees with me and I am shocked.  Yay me for thinking like a snotty Brit.

4. My main man ‘Keze is up next. I am rooting for him now and hopes he does well. He is going to sing If Only For One Night by LUTHER…He better kick some ass.  He is doing a ballad again and he is knocking it out of the park. Really showing his range. This is a slow jam. Nice. I liked it and think Randy is completely wrong. I agree with Paula. Simon says….blah cheesy….Simon can eat some…what do Brits eat? Shit, right? I loved it.

5. Mmmmmmm…Brooke is up and she is going to sing Every Breathe You Take by the Police. My first reaction is I don’t like the song choice probably because I don’t like the song. The song is rather boring, right? Well here we go and we’ll find out. Love her hair. Looks beautiful and she has a false start.  Why does her left hand look like a 90 year old woman? Was is burned? She did an OK job. It was just blah I guess. I love her hair like that though. Also, false starts are acceptable. I thought she would get torched for it by Simon. I’m disappointed even though it wasn’t that bad. Two rather bad weeks for her IMO.

6. Mike J. is up and he will grace us with a stupid story. And he will sing Queen. You know, those sports arena songs? Do I have to name them? It’s probably a good choice for him. He’s sounding pretty good but he can’t hit the Mercury notes and that diminishes his performance for me. That’s hard to live up to and I admit that. Jesus, the girls are screaming for him. Call me nuts but I didn’t think it was all that great. He just did what he do.  Judges go gaga.

7. Carly is up and I completely expect her to kick ass.  She is going to do Total Eclipse of the Heart by   Bonnie Tyler.  Matt you nailed it! I like this song in a very manly way. Carly sounds Phenomenal. I don’t care what the judges say. She was awesome. Kudos CARLY!! OK, I guess I do care. Randy-Fuck You. Paula-You Cool. Simon-Fuck You


9. Ahem. Next we have KLC. Who shares my birthday. Fuck it, I’ll give her pass. She’s golden tonight. Go Capricorn and Garnet stone!! She’s singing God Bless the USA.*Yay Patriotism! YEAH! FUCK THOSE THOSE TERRORISTS! FUCKIN A. FUCKING A IS RIGHT DAMMIT!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

OOOOO!*. She actually sang it pretty well. Some bad notes. But more great notes. As Simon said it was a great song choice.  I think she bought herself a week.

* Please give because it helps.  http://www.uso.org/

10. David C. is going to sing Billy Jean by Pedophile. It’s the worst version of a song I think I have ever heard. That is all. I need to get out my cutting blade. Where tonight? A little wrist? Upper arm? Maybe a paper cut to my eyelid. Randy likes it. Paula is weeping. Simon thought it was amazing. I thought it sucked.

So. Bottom three time? I will go with ‘Keze, Ramiele, and KLC. I will change my original pick and say Ramiele goes down. Christ I thought Carly was good! Peace.

Confession – I missed the first few performers, but I feel safe in saying:

Best of the Night – Carly (c’mon – if you have read this at all, you knew that was coming), Dreamboat, and DCook.

Bottom of the Night – Michael Johns, Ramiele, Syesha.  But for the votes, Syesha will be replaced by KLC.  Singing God Bless the USA was a good choice; enough to keep her safe but not enough to boost her to the safe zone.

Now, I have to get back to doing some work.


One last thought.  Mr. Cook should probably start crediting people if he goes with their version of a song.  The judges praised his originiality and taking a chance, but is it really original if someone else (Chris Cornell) did it?

In Conclusion:

See ya later Ramiele, unless America saw through the voting ploy and finally removes KLC.



1. DougOLis - Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Ramiele – Way to screamy and a bit pitchy. I imagine that Andie does it better.

Jason – Good but boring. Can’t hit Sting’s highs.
Did they show Dr. Torres from Grey’s Anatomy at the end?

Syesha – Good but seemed kind of like she was hamming it up. Missed quite a few of the highs in the middle-end.

Chikezie – Started real rough but got slightly better. Finish was weird.

Brooke – Holy crap, she looks even hotter with straight hair! It seemed like she was kind of distracted (by the band or the piano); wasn’t her best.

Michael Johns – I hated the arrangement for “We Will Rock You,” there wasn’t enough energy and crashing guitars. His voice absolutely sucked on “We Are the Champions.” His performance itself was good, but not deserving of all the praise from the judges.

Carly – awesome performance, great vocals (sounded a bit like Kelly Clarkson), but I will forever now associate the song with Old School.
Was that Leon from Curb Your Enthusiasm?

David A. – voice cracked once but it was good. Holy crap, I perfectly understand what Simon was saying and it’s kind of true. I was trying to put my finger on the performance and that’s exactly it. He should have done that in the Main Street Electrical Parade at Disneyland.

KLC – Holy Fuck! I called that song and I was joking. This could be bad. Hmm, she actually did really well. It’s a ridiculously hokey song and has lost a lot of luster the last few years.

David Cook – Slowing down Billie Jean is an interesting choice but he pulled it off. I kind of dug it. Note: I did not know that he ripped of Chris Cornell at the time. Makes sense I guess. He needs to become original at some point.

Bye bye Ramiele

2. Matt_T - Wednesday, March 26, 2008

I had more, whoops:
Remeile: Heart – “Alone” What the hell is she wearing? I really like this song. She does alright on the slower, softer part, but when it gets to the crescendo, she nails it. Randy and Paula didn’t like it, which was surprising, but I really enjoyed it. She’s probably in trouble.

Jason: Sting “Fragile” Tonight’s his birthday. Happy Birthday. Playing the guitar again this week. I don’t recognize this song at all. He’s singing in Spanish. I enjoyed it. Simon doesn’t think he’s taking it seriously. I think he’s just a stoner.

Syesha: Stephanie Mills “If I were your woman” Yawn. Typical ballad. She sounded good, I like her voice, but these type of songs always bore me. Still, probably good enough to move on.

Chikeze: Luther Vandross “If Only For One Night” Ballsy choice going with Luther. Its a little shaky, he missed some notes, but not bad. He plays to the crowd and gives some love to the pit. I think he’ll be in the bottom 3 this week.

Brooke: The Police “Every Breath You Take” Whoops. Throw the flag, false start penalty on Brooke. After the rough start, that was very good. I like how she changed it up, her voice is very good for this song. She’s safe.

Michael Johns: Queen “We Are The Champions” Oh geez. I’m having bad flashbacks to Queen night 2 years ago. I don’t think its a good song choice, but he sounds really good and nails the big last note. I think he’ll be safe after that. It was a good performance.

Carly: Bonnie Tyler “Total Eclipse of the Heart” Yes! She’s singing the song I would have picked for her. That was fantastic. Loved it, she wailed. That song is perfect for her. Simon does make a valid point, she always looks like she’s passing a kidney stone when she’s singing. She should be safe, but after last week, who knows.

David Archuletta: “You’re The Voice” I don’t think I’ve ever heard this song before. It sounds like something from a Disney movie. Well, Randy and Paula don’t recognize it either. Simon says its like a theme park performance. And I completely agree. He sounded good, but it was extremely lame. He’s safe.

KLC: Lee Greenwood “God Bless The USA” Well, well. Someone’s pandering to the patriotic voters. Actually this is a good choice for her. Nice on standing up from the stool. She sounds great. This was her best performance in weeks. High praise from Simon, this may be enough to keep her around.

David Cook: Michael Jackson “Billie Jean” I didn’t know you could emo-fy Michael Jackson, but David just did it. I actually liked it. He absolutely nailed the huge note. Fantastic. He’s safe.

Overall, I enjoyed this week more so than the previous few.
After the performances, my bottom 3 prediction: Chikeze, Syesha and going home, Remeile.

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