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Urban HIMYMs: “No Tomorrow” — The War of Northern Aggression Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Posted by Yostal in Gen X&Y, How I Met Your Mother, Television, The Bad One, Things too long to read, TV, TV shows, Urban HIMYMs, Yostal.
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my season’s worth of recaps for How I Met Your Mother. Welcome, once more, to Urban HIMYMs.

Ahh, Saint Patrick’s Day. A wonderful time to enjoy being Irish, to celebrate that ancient heritage, and for most people, to go get stinking drunk. But, since I had the flu, and a nasty bit of the flu at that, I was laid up, kept in, and was able to get to my recap of the first post-WGA strike episode of How I Met Your Mother. I’m a little rusty at this, so please keep that in mind. Thank you.

And away we go…

Barney arrives at the apartment, green suited up, and is horrified, to the point of needing to sit down, that Marshall, Lily, and Ted are all not only not ready to hit the town for Saint Patrick’s Day, they aren’t even going out. Marshall and Lily are going to hold a board game night at their new apartment, and Ted tells Barney that unlike his Peter Pan sense of wonderment, they’re grown ups now, they can’t just fly off to Neverland with him any more. Barney is enraged, saying he doesn’t need them to celebrate Saint Patty’s Day, to the point of being physically ill, which Lily notes is accurate, since he did look a little green.

Marshall gets a call, and it turns out it’s from Ted’s butt, which keeps pocket dialing. Have these people never heard of keyguard? Barney calls Ted with hot and sexy girls in a cab and they’re headed to a bar called Low Point, and he’s bringing Ted. Why? Because the world is going to end tonight: End of the world–>Nostradamus–>Notre Dame–>Fightin’ Irish–>Irish–>St. Patrick’s Day. And while I am happy to associate the Golden Domers with the apocalypse, in my experience, Notre Dame really just means the end of your season, not the end of the world. Barney calls it Bropocolypse now! Bromageddon! Which is funny, because I thought they had banned the use of Bro. But anyway. Ted is left with the choice of hanging out with Marshall and Lily for his last night on earth, or coming out with Barney. He chooses the latter. As usual, it’s a mistake. Except for one little thing: The future Mrs. Ted is there. We have a yellow umbrella!

Ted arrives and Barney tries to figure out which one of the girls, Mary or Stephanie, he wants more. This takes way longer than it should. There’s a line for the club and Ted claims that it’s the universe’s way of punishing him for ditching Marshal and Lily. Barney decides that the universe can be dealt with. He proceeds to the guy working the door and attempts to bribe him. It’s sort of painful to watch. Barney and Ted are informed that if it were just the two of them, they could go right on in, because the ratio is heavily female. Barney needs a moment to deal with this information. Never in the history of New York City night spots has there been a shortage of dudes (including during the Great Dude Shortage of 1883, which I believe I read about in Chants Democratic. Anyway…) Ted makes his decision to ditch the girls based on the information that while they may not be hotter, they are drunker, and Barney and Ted head on inside.

Meanwhile, over in Dowisetrepla, Lily, Marshall, and Robin start looking at what the new apartment and what the previous owners left them. Including a free nail. But when Marshall hangs the picture, he and Robin discover that the apartment is crooked. Nice use of a camera tilt for additional effect. But we can’t tell Lily! She’s thrilled, because she found free skateboard and free Hungry Hungry Hippos. Robin wants to Lily, but Marshall insists they don’t. Robin says it will be an uphill battle, and they have to find just the right angle, to Marshall’s chagrin. Robin says she has a third one, but in my experience, claiming you have a third one largely means that you don’t, but you just want people to think you do.

Back at the Low Point, Ted thinks they have stumbled into some kind of philosophical/ethical wormhole, he’s being rewarded for negative behavior. Somehow, we’ve stumbled into the anti-My Name is Earl. Ted tries out his thesis, ordering two bottles of Dom on a tab of someone named Greedo. Which is bad, because usually, Greedo’s pissed off and looking for you, even if you do shoot first. But sure enough, he’s rewarded with a beautiful woman who pinches him for not wearing green. Ashlee, the hot chick’s name, invites Barney and Ted over to hang with her friends who have a bottle of tequila and surprisingly deep navels. Barney hears the universe talking to him and Ted just wants to know if it’s demanding that they build a baseball field in yet another wonderful Field of Dreams call back. Barney says that the universe is claiming they have a free pass for the night, there are no repercussions, because there is no tomorrow. Barney wonders what the grown-ups are doing.

Back at the apartment, we see the trio playing Hungry Hungry Hippos and Lily winning because she’s on the downhill slope. Lily then wonders what’s up when the painting slides and so does her water bottle. Marshall decides to come clean. It’s clear, you see, he and Robin saw a ghost. The apartment is haunted. Lily is skeptical, she asks what the ghost looked like. Robin says it looked like a sheet with two holes in it. Marshall is not amused. He explains that the ghost was a Confederate general who was wounded at the Battle of Antietam and died in the Army hospital which once stood on that very spot. (I find this hard to believe. I mean, why would a Confederate general be evacuated to a Union Army hospital, except as a POW, and even then, why would he be evacuated to New York, when Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washington, DC were all closer evacuation choices. I mean, it’s like Marshall’s just making the story up or…right, got it. Moving on.) Marshall claims that the ghost now wanders the halls, vowing revenge against the Union cannonade which once felled him. Which, admittedly, sounds pretty cool. But he seems nice. Lily claims that Marshal sees ghosts everywhere. Lily needs the skeptical Robin to back it up. She does so in the least convincing manner possible.

Back at the bar, Ted basically draws up a plan of a one night stand and Ashlee’s in. She says she hopes there’s no tomorrow, because if there is, she’s going to be in a lot of trouble, because, well, she’s married.

And we’re off to commercial.

Back at the haunted apartment, Lily is worried, because despite Marshall’s reassurances that he seems nice, Lily points out that the Confederates were the bad guys and that he’s probably racist, Marshall’s claim of courtly Southern manners notwithstanding. Lily can’t handle the idea of the Confederate ghost teaching their children his racism, but Marshall is quick to point out that he loves people of all colors and creeds, he was merely fighting for states’ rights, which made me laugh really really hard before I had to run to the bathroom to deal with a flu-induced reversal of fortune. Anyway, Lily says that Marshall’s probably wrong because Robin saw him wearing a sheet and well, what do you think that means. Robin can no longer stand it and blurts out that the apartment is crooked. Marshall cops to the fact that there’s no ghost. Lily is reaching the same realization that Marshall had, that the floor is crooked and it makes her break down and cry. Marshall blames Robin, but Robin wants to know how “racist ghost” is better than crooked. She is genuinely flummoxed, but she’s Canadian, so I’ll give her a pass on not understanding the intricacies of the American Civil War.

Back at the Low Point, Ted has bumps into a very attractive woman (my girlfriend notes this as perhaps being important, and I tend to agree) but has decided that things fall apart, and Barney reminds us that he has many many theories. Barney claims that it’s not cheating if a). he’s not the one who is married. b). her name has two adjacent vowels, and c). if she lives in a different area code. Barney then goes into a wonderful bit on NYC area codes in an attempt to reassure Ted.

Back in the slanty shanty, Marshall and Lily start contemplating the downsides of living in a crooked house. Robin decides she needs to help. Getting the skateboard and the colander, they make the best of a bad situation and invent the sport of apartment roller luge.

Back at the bar, Barney is trying to convince Ted that everything’s fine, but Ted is laid low by one punch from Rick Greedo. Ted relates the story to Marshall and Marshall is pissed. He’s trying to point out that he’s turning into another Barney, but Ted said it can’t be as bad as it sounds: Marshall’s voice mail proves otherwise with 17 messages. They’re bad. Very bad. It’s an eye opener. His whole world is off-balance, is crooked. It’s like Ted reached a low point in his life. Ted appreciates that Marshall yelled at him, claiming he’s very sexy when he yells. Fixing the floor is going to be expensive and take some time, and that is all right with him. Ted found out later that his Mrs. Ted was at that party, but they didn’t meet that night. To the strains of the newish Nada Surf track “Beautiful Beat”, Ted goes back to the club to find his phone, but when he gets ready to leave, it’s raining again, so he grabs a yellow umbrella to walk home, and that will be what turns his luck around.

All in all, a solid episode, with a clearly defined a and b plot, with B bringing the funny and A advancing the plot. Admittedly,a new episode in and of itself is a nice thing, and while next week will be some stunt casting to move things along (Britney), I do feel like the WGA Strike hopefully led the gang to realize we’re going to need some closure on the story, or at least, some progress. I do think there is something to be said for hitting a low point before your luck changes. I am positive that is essentially what happened to me before I met Jennifer. So we’ll see.

Once again, I’d like to thank my pal Geoff (aka The Bad One) for his witty and insightful comments as I worked on this.  And Jennifer (aka The Yostess) for putting up with me doing this.

So, that’s all I have for this week’s edition of Urban HIMYMs. With that, this is Yostal reminding you to just chill, ‘til the next episode.



1. DougOLis - Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The camera tilt thing started to make me slightly nauseous through the episode.

I’m not sure why, but I felt really awkward and icky while watching Ted’s flashback.

It’s like Ted reached a low point in his life. Well, given the name of the bar..

So you’re girlfriend is Geoff? Interesting. And I’m pretty sure that the girl Ted bumped into has to be The Future Mrs. Moseby because why else would they show that? Plus, both the bumper and TFMM under the umbrella were wearing what appeared to be the same jeans. Either that, or the writers/producers/directors are a bunch of dicks.

2. JB* - Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Thanks Doug – I deleted the episode from my DVR, and then not two minutes later my wife asked “Did the girl under the yellow umbrella have the same jeans as the girl he bumped into?”

Crap! Cannot check!

I am also thinking there is an equal chance they are just being dicks, much like their MySpace post during the strike saying “It’s the coat check girl.”

3. JB* - Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Oh, and of course – thanks Yost for another great recap.

4. UkraineNotWeak - Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The girl he bumped definitely has to be the future Mrs. Ted. Also, the 516 area code mentioned by Barney is for Nassau County on Long Island.

5. Fat-Fat - Wednesday, March 19, 2008

It was a great recap. Why wasn’t the lean known when they got the place?

6. Josephine Lindsay Bass - Thursday, March 20, 2008

[Editor’s note: Comment deleted due to being completely off topic and not making any sense what so ever.]

(Which also will explain Jerkwheat’s WTF below.)

7. Jerkwheat - Thursday, March 20, 2008


8. Chris - Friday, March 21, 2008

Damn, I think it would take me longer to read that recap than it did to watch the episode. : )

Also, am I a bad person for not thinking that Ted had sunk all that low? Sure he was engaging in some iffy behavior, but I steal music so who am I to judge?

9. DougOLis - Friday, March 21, 2008

@Chris: I don’t think Ted sunk that low; he’s not the scourge of the earth like Marshall made him out to be. All he did was was go out and have fun. He was kind of douchey but we’ve all been there.

10. Yostal - Saturday, March 22, 2008


I think that low points are all relative. In telling the story in retrospect, maybe Ted realized he didn’t like the way he was acting that night and realized that, in spite of his frustrations up in his romantic life to that point, he was on the right path. Low points are relative, the low point of one person can be higher than another person’s high point.

Marshall hammered him, but perhaps that was also because he perhaps wanted to nip things in the bud. He’s known Ted for ten years, and occasionally you blow things up a little larger just to make sure that things aren’t getting out of control. Plus, he had spent the whole previous night dealing with the slanty shanty and the racist ghost, so there could be some transferral going on there.

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