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American Idol Roundtable – The Top 12 (pre-show) Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Posted by Jerkwheat in American Idol, beatles, jerkwheat, Paul McCartney is a corporate whore, You know how I know you're gay?.

So, what could possibly be cooler lamer more awesomer than a bunch of dudes talking about American Idol? NOTHING! Join us this week for our new regular feature with some of your favorite Deadspin commenters as we break down the current week of American Idol. Joining me will be Matt_T, JB*, and fatfat. Follow the jump to join the conversation…

Jerkwheat: Alright fellas, let us embark on the greatest task of the 21st
century – de-constructing this season of American Idol.

I don’t know about you gentlemen, but so far this season has been one
big bore to me. The auditions were painfully dragged out about 2 weeks
longer than necessary, Hollywood week was bland, and the Top 24
eliminations have brought nothing more than the love/hate of Danny
Noreiga and the revelation that one of them used to be a male
stripper. Alas, we’ve finally reached the Top 12 and the eliminations
should start to get interesting as we work towards figuring out which
one of these people will be the next to have their heavily promoted
albums tank. The Top 12 are (as you know)

Amanda Overmyer – I have no idea how her scary ass made it here (oh
yeah, Vote For The Worst…)
Brooke White – non-threatening white girl #1 who is into 70s lite rock
Chikeze – token black guy who will be gone by the Top 8 (if not 10)
Carly Smithson – former poster child for the late 90s pop
explosion/bust – also Irish and therefore added hotness for
David Archuleta – former Star Search winning kid attempting to win us
over with precociousness (and Phil Collins)
David Cook – will emo-Hello propel him to Daughtry II status? And
should we kill him for it?
David Hernandez – gay stripper.
Jason Castro – needs a haircut and to keep singing great songs
Kristy Lee Cook – non-threatening white girl #2 who is into country
Michael Johns – Australian dude whose already been in a rock band on a
major label
Ramiele Malubay – token ethnic girl, non-African American edition
Syesha Mercado – needs less Whitney

So, who do you think, pre-performance is going to be out after this
Who is your early favorite to win this thing?
What do you think of the Top 12 in general?
How much are we truly going to miss Danny since he won’t be around to
hate on anymore?

I’d say this will be Chikeze’s last week with us. I thought when he went up on stage with Danny last week he was a goner. I don’t think Beatles week will do him any favors either.

Carly and David have to be the favorites at this point, especially with the praise the judges are fawning on them, but Jason Castro is my sleeper pick.

Other than those 3, the rest of the top 12 is all so bland. I am curious if David Cook got his inspiration for that version of “Hello” from Incubus:

I have a feeling Amanda is going to feel the brunt of my ire since Danny is gone now.

Sitting here on Sunday night, I would agree with Matt – Chikeze is not long for the competition. Not very exciting for the discussion thread, I know.

The favorites to actually win the fan vote are the two which may drive Simon crazy – Carly or Michael. Yup – we could end up with an American Idol that is not actually American.

I’m not convinced David Archuleta is the going away winner that many others seem to think. He’s a great singer with an amazing voice, but the presumed favorite has not proven out in the past – Melinda Doolittle, Katherine McPhee, Jennifer Hudson. At some point – particularly if his song choices do not pep up – he will fall to some motivated fan base like Taylor Hick’s Soul Patrol.

The Top 12 is just all around… lacking. As Paula keeps telling us, “This group is so talented” (picture me saying that in a hat for extra emphasis), but they are not particularly exciting, and they lack the smoking hottie that will retain in the male fan base (both high school/college and pervy) and the person you just have to watch to see for the train wreck effect. I was just reading through the back seasons, and it seems like Season Three – talent, but no one you want to drool over or see go down in flames, and I didn’t remember anything much about that year.

I agree that Amanda is scary and has to get the boot. I’ve never really liked that voice that sounds like shards of glass tearing at your vocal cords. I can’t stand Janis Joplin so how could a 10 times worse version stay in the competition.

Chikeze is done this week. I guess we all agree about that. Amanda will be gone too. I much as a hated Sanjaya last year, I hate Amanda more. At least Sanjaya had likability to a broader base of people. Plus the teen preteen set loved him. She has to horrify them.

I don’t think the season has been a big bore, but the entertainment factor was lower. I think Simon taking a nicey-nice approach during the weeding out process sucked. Those people who were bad just weren’t reamed out like they usually were by Simon. I actually am enjoying Paula this year because she seems to be more drugged up than usual.

My early favorites are Brooke or David to win it. That kid is going to get A LOT of votes if he keeps singing well. I love Brooke. I love her voice and think she is very sexy. I think she has a very good chance of winning the whole thing if she modernizes herself more. I want to see her do a Fiona Apple song or something along those lines.

Too answer the “missing Danny” question: No. He was a weirdo. I hope goes away. Although I guess Rosie has offered him a chance to sing on her big gay cruise. That fits like a glove.

In conclusion…

So, I suppose it’s pretty clear that we’re all expecting Chikeze to make it an early exit this week. We don’t really miss Danny since there are still plenty of other objects of hate to be had. And, uh, Brooke is kinda hot. Alright, alright, alright.

That’s it for now – we’ll see you again after the songs done been sang.



1. DougOLis - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Who’s fatfat? And where’s Andie? Is she no longer contributing here?

I predisposed to liking Carly in that she’s Irish, she’s from San Diego, she works at my favorite Irish pub in town, and that I’ve actually met her; but that said, she has the personality and voice to win it so she’s my fav to win.

David (Archuleta) is really sweet and has an amazing voice, but there’s something about him that makes me not want him to win.

As far as hotness goes, I’ll miss Kady so I guess Brooke will have to take her place.

2. Jerkwheat - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Fat-Fat is a regular DUANer (which is where the inspiration for this roundtable came from) and your assumption is correct on the 2nd question.

3. Abby - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I don’t understand this Kady love. I don’t think she’s all that attractive, but then again, I’m not a boy so I’m probably not the most qualified to answer that question. I didn’t think she was all that talented, and I’m glad she got the boot last week. Whatever that song was she sang was painful to listen to. Hated HATED Danny too so glad he’s gone as well.

Michael Johns is my favorite but I think its going to be between Carly and David A. as well.

I’m hoping Ramiele stays around because the constant waterworks are amusing. Is that mean? Oops.

4. Fat-Fat - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Yeah Jerkwheat, I wouldn’t say I’m a favorite DS commenter. I’m just kind of there. Like lint.

5. Jerkwheat - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Aww Fat-Fat,

Our mothers think we’re all popular!

6. JB* - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Abby – nope! She has bawled after every single elimination. There is no way she became THAT good of friends with everyone so quickly.

7. Abby - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I know! She cries more than Ricky did on Project Runway and he was sobbing for at least 5 minutes of every show. Can you imagine what its going to be like when she goes home? They might have to bring in some sandbags to prevent anyone from drowning.

8. DougOLis - Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I suppose that’s what I get from not dropping DUAN that much anymore. Sorry bout that fat-fat.

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