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Drinking Games: The “I Can’t Drive 55” Edition Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Posted by PQ Crash in PQ Crash, video games.
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Hello all, this is PQ Crash again covering two of the finer things in life: Booze and video-games. I knew I wanted to review Burnout: Paradise this week, but I couldn’t pin down what alcohol would go well with it. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking the lady at the liquor store what booze went well with driving. After being asked to leave I headed over to another liquor store and on the way there I had a bit of a serendipitous moment…Sammy Hagar’s “I Can’t Drive 55” came on the radio and I then knew what I was drinking that night: Hagar’s own Cabo Wabo tequila.

Let’s make Vince Neil proud after the jump…

I’ve never been a big fan of tequila. EVER. Probably because my friends fed me a “cement mixer” on my 21st birthday and used Cuervo 1800 as the second shot and subsequently forced everything out of my stomach. However, for the sake of this review, I’d figured that I’d give tequila another chance.

Oh, this is not good

Burnout: Paradise (PS3)

Burnout: Paradise is the fifth game in the Burnout series and is the first for the “next-gen” consoles (i.e., PS3, Xbox 360). Burnout: Paradise moves into an “open city” format (…and yet again, think Grand Theft Auto) and allows the player to freely drive around the city to explore new areas and challenges.

Cabo Wabo (Blanco)

Cabo Wabo tequila was originally made for Sammy Hagar’s Cabo Wabo Cantina. Long story short, the guy now sells a fuck-ton of it and sold 80% of his stake in Cabo Wabo tequila for $80 million (Source: Wikipedia).

Gameplay

I’ll start off by saying that Burnout 3 is my favorite racing game of all time. So much so that I almost missed my college graduation because I was up until 5 that morning playing that game (and drinking, of course). I’d skipped the other sequels to that game until now because all of the elements of Burnout 3 felt perfect; also because I was just out of school and broke.

Burnout: Paradise now focuses on a free-roaming city where you can choose events and races at your leisure. This open format is great for the opportunity to scout race locations, shortcuts for the races, finding ramps for stunts, etc. Also, there are multiple locations around the city that will provide certain bonuses: refills on the boost tank, paint jobs and repairing your damaged vehicle– which is nice because your car will get damaged, a lot. Many of these stations are on the race paths which will help you out substantially.

The open format of the game does have its drawbacks; after a couple of drinks, I kept driving around the city looking for a virtual fast-food restaurant in search of the greasy hamburger that I normally crave when I’m drunk.

Graphically, Burnout: Paradise is fucking gorgeous. Although the game outputs at only 720p, the 60fps and the rendering of the high speeds puts most other PS3 games’ graphics to shame. It’s made me thankful for my HD set and helps reassure me that my money wasn’t wasted on it and my PS3.

One other point about the graphics: You know how everything seems to slow down when you’re hammered? Well, don’t even bother trying to keep up with the animation of this game if you’ve had a few drinks, you’ll get the spins within moments of picking up the controller.

The controls of the game took a few moments to get used to. I’ve been programmed by games like Gran Turismo to use the “X” button for the accelerator and the “O” button for the brake. Burnout: Paradise has reappropriated the accelerator and brake buttons to R2 and L2 respectively. I’m happy to say that the controls never felt twitchy or unresponsive; I was just twitchy and unresponsive from the tequila. Also, bonus points to the developer for implementing the rumble feedback for the PS3’s Dualshock 3 (soon to be released in North America, but I imported one from Japan). I’m just happy that they didn’t put a breathalyzer-lock on my controller so I could keep playing.

The game consists of five main event types. There’s the standard race against 5 or 7 computer-controlled cars, the “Road Rage” event where you have to ram into and cause a certain amount of cars to crash, the “Marked Man” event where multiple cars are out to get you, “Stunt Run” where you have to string together tricks and stunts for a high point total (obligatory Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater joke here) and, finally, the “Burning Route” event where you have to race a time trial event with a pre-determined car.

The Booze

Holy hell this stuff is good. Prior to booting up Burnout: Paradise I poured a shot of it over ice and took it back. It doesn’t have a killer bite to it at the end and it actually makes for a good sipping drink. However, I felt that I had to go and try Hagar’s version of the margarita — the Waborita:

  • 2 oz. Cabo Wabo tequila (it calls for reposado tequila, not blanco, but the blanco was $10 cheaper)
  • 2 oz. Lime juice
  • 1 oz. Triple Sec (everyone, please make sure you keep a bottle of Triple Sec around, it’ll save any horrible cocktail you’ll concoct)
  • A splash of Blue Curacao

Save for the Blue Curacao, mix all of it in a shaker filled with ice. Strain into a salt-rimmed glass. Pour the splash of Blue Curacao in the middle of the glass. Drink the Waborita and then attempt to operate a virtual motor vehicle; you’ll then see why drinking and driving is a horrible, horrible thing to do.

The Mixer

I’ll just say it right now. This game is impossible to play while you’re drunk. Two Waboritas into the game and I was doomed. The game moves incredibly fast and it requires full concentration to get through one race/event. Granted, when the game’s soundtrack started playing Avril Lavigne’s “Girlfriend,” I lost both respect and concentration for the game. (The addition of Soundgarden and Guns and Roses helped ease the sting of it though.)

After sobering up, I spent a few more hours with Burnout: Paradise and found it to be a stellar game. Events like the “Marked Man” and the normal races were incredibly fun to play once I had gotten a feel for the open city and knew where the repair stations were and also where a few of the shortcuts were.

I was a bit upset that the game’s races/events started at the intersections throughout the city. If you fail an event, you have to go back to the same intersection to restart the event. Difficult to remember where you started when you’re inebriated, frustrating to go back when you’re determined to complete the event (and also when you’re on the other side of the city). However, this barely detracts from the overall fun of the game.

Last Call (I admit it, I need to stop using this pun)

The better use of your money is spent towards the Cabo Wabo tequila. The official recipe for the Waborita is excellent and the straight tequila is even better. I’m not saying that Burnout: Paradise is horrible (far from it actually), but I enjoyed the Cabo Wabo tequila more than I did the game. Definitely check out Burnout: Paradise if you’ve played any of the previous games in the series–just stay sober while doing it.

Do have any questions? Know a good 12-step program? Leave them in the comments below or feel free to e-mail me at pqcrash_at_gmail.com

Next time: Hanna Montana: Music Jam vs. Zima (I’m kidding, I don’t know what I’ll do yet. Any requests?)

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Comments»

1. Jerkwheat - Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I, personally, am aiming for some hijinks involving the new Smash Bros game and an absurd amount of hurricanes in a couple of weeks.

2. DougOLis - Tuesday, February 5, 2008

My big problem with Burnout: Paradise is remembering which races I’ve already done and with which cars. Is there an easy way to track this? I keep doing the same fucking races over again and there’s no easy way to quit the race once you’ve started. It should warn you and let you opt out before starting the race. Maybe there is a way and I’m just a retard.

I miss the event where you make one quick run to create the worst crash possible and they calculate the damage in dollar figures. Stunt Run is fun but I don’t think it quite matches up and isn’t as unique to the game.

It’s definitely a fun game and the graphics are sweet but I haven’t gotten hooked like Burnout 3.

3. Rockabye - Tuesday, February 5, 2008

How about Mass Effect? Or do you only have a PS3?

I know absolutely zero about drinking, so I can only recommend games.

4. DougOLis - Tuesday, February 5, 2008

I agree about Mass Effect, but it looks like PQCrash is PS3 only.

My alcohol suggestion is gin. I feel like it’s been making a comeback recently. My personal faves are Hendrick’s and Tanqueray Ten, but there’s a whole world of specialty ones I haven’t tried yet.

5. PQ Crash - Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Unfortunately, I only have a PS3 and a Nintendo Wii (and a PSP and a DS). I had a 360 but it suffered from the RROD four times. Frustrated, I sold it and used the cash for Rock Band.

I’d love to dig into Mass Effect, but until MS can produce a reliable piece of hardware, I won’t be dipping my toe into an Xbox game anytime soon.

Oh, Doug, don’t worry. I’ve got a special game for gin.

6. The IV - Friday, February 29, 2008

I am also a fan of Cabo. Very good choice of tequila, but maybe next time you should try playing Assassin’s Creed with it. I had a very good experience drinking an entire bottle and playing that game a couple of weeks ago.

7. Drinking Games and Mixed Drink Recipes - Wednesday, March 5, 2008

hi guys! seems that you love drinking games as much as i do… well i have a drinking games site :)


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