30 Rock 2.08: Cajun-Style Tuesday, December 11, 2007Posted by The Bad One in 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One, Yostal.
Tags: 30 rock, shaquille o'neal, space octupi, The Bad One, Yostal
Jack and CC rendezvous in his office. She’s worried someone will see them, but Jack reassures her that it’s too early for the creative types and he sent Jonathan to a non-existant Italian bakery in Queens. Cut to a panicked Jonathan begging auto mechanics for baked goods. They start to make out, just in time for Liz to stumble upon them. Caught, Jack introduces CC as a business associate, “Laquisha Gutierrez…Arafat.” Liz says she’ll leave them to it. CC: “‘It’ being business.” Liz: “Right. I call the movie Risky Business ‘Risky It‘, because ‘it’ means ‘business’. Lemon out…”
Credits. Scott Adsit raises his eyebrow.
Holiday Funtime commercialprogrampart1: In his office, Pete: “Bento box from Sushi King, the lesbian scene from Mulholland Drive. Time for Gentleman’s Lunch.” In walks Kenneth. As Pete tries desperately to wave him off, Kenneth explains that he knows how Pete doesn’t get to spend a lot of time with his family, so his Secret Rodney gift to Pete is to bring all his kids in for the afternoon. They run amok. Kenneth: “Kyle’s a real good hugger!” Vindication! I knew Kyle was the one Liz was talking about.
Frank walks into the writers’ room. Toofer looks up and demands that he remove the Harvard sweatshirt he’s wearing, since Frank didn’t go to Harvard. Frank: “I went to Harvard. I did standup there this weekend.” Toofer: “Very funny. You are not graduated from that institution.” Frank: “Well, I got a squeezer from an Indian girl on a bunk bed, so I think I got the full Harvard experience.” The MIT experience involves your professor’s car, your dorm’s roof, and no girls. Toofer: “You’re just trying to get a rise out of me, sir, and you do not want to make a Harvard man angry.” Watch out, or he’ll beat you in football in 1907.
I can already tell this is going to be a long recap. The lines are too good to leave out.
In Liz’s office, Jack confesses that CC is not a business associate; they are lovers. Liz recognizes her as the congresswoman going after the Sheinhardt Wig Company. And therein lies Jack’s problem, “This company has a very strict ‘bros before hos’ policy.” Despite that, it’s serious, and he wants CC to meet some of his friends, so he’s holding a dinner party and he wants Liz to attend. “I just want you to be discreet,” he asks, “And try not to dress like a small-town lesbian.” He opens the door and loudly proclaims that they had a good chat. “Good luck with that alopecia problem of yours!”
Jenna has won an award for her role in the movie adaptation of the musical version of Mystic Pizza. “The NY Critics Association just sent me this! Best Actress in a Movie Based On a Musical Based On a Movie!” Tracy is annoyed that they’ve wasted all this time talking abut the award; they have more important things to worry about, “Like where are the French fries I did not ask for? You guys need to anticipate me!” He walks out of rehearsal.
In his dressing room, Tracy pouts that everyone wins awards but him. “Even Shaquille O’Neal got a Kids Choice Award for that animated movie we did together.” Watch it. Now. “I spent two days making that movie from my home and what did I get? A million dollars, a yellow Bentley, and nothing. I never win anything. Look at this coffee cup my kids got me for Father’s Day.” He holds up a mug labeled WORLD’S #4 DAD. “Maybe I should just give up and try this crystal meth I’ve been hearing so much about.” Seeing the need to cut him off now, Liz jumps in to tell him that he actually has won an award. A lifetime achievement award from the…Pacific Rim Emmys. “Pacific Rim? I love the Pacific Rim! I spent nine months in Japan shooting Samurai Aunt Amurai. I fell in love with their culture, especially sharking.” He explains it to Liz. “It’s considered a crime here. Thanks a lot, Puritans!” He’s ready to go back to rehearsal, and Liz puts Props on the job of creating a Pacific Rim Emmy.
Jenna complains about how hard Liz has to work to keep Tracy happy; she doesn’t get that kind of treatment. Liz coddles her, telling her she’s the sane one and she doesn’t have to do that. Jenna: “It is amazing how grounded I’ve been able to stay, despite my celebrité.
In walks Frank to the writers’ room, dressed in a Harvard sweater, knee pants, argyle socks, coat, tie, and top hat marked “HARVARD”, and claiming to be a Harvardian. He lived in Lowell House and was a member of the Signet Society. Toofer, annoyed, tells him a real Signet Society member would have a pin like his. Frank reveals the pin attached to the fly of his pants. Josh finds this last touch hilarious.
Tracy ask Liz about travel arrangements to Japan, so she has to stumble into a cover that the ceremony is that night; she told them just to mail his award. But Tracy had told his kids that they’d get to see their dad win an award, so it has to at least be live via satellite. Not even the time difference can faze him. 4:00 AM is perfect, since that’s when he’ll be getting back from Maiden Voyage, Newark’s first offshore gentlemen’s barge. He also wants Josh and Jenna to be there in the background. Jenna’s annoyed that Liz has again made special arrangements for Tracy while she can’t even get a real exterminator for the squirrel in her dressing room. Kenneth is in there, armed with a stick and trash can and hopefully the Pasteur treatment.
Liz arrives at Jack’s house. The rest of the party is Jack, CC, and…Kenneth. They had a longer guest list, but had to cut out anyone with influence, connections, stature, or celebrity. Kenneth has come with a stack of index cards to supply him with small talk. “What’s your favorite pizza topping? Mine’s plain, but I like others. Liz, tell me a painful story about your teenage years.”
Back on the stage, Liz has set up Tracy’s “broadcast” for the Pacific Rim Emmys. He gives his speech flanked by Josh and Jenna, thanking his wife, his kids Tracy Jr. and George Foreman (both asleep), “this Josh dude”, Liz Lemon, “bald-headed Pete”, and “a very special blonde lady…Shelley Long, you are truly an inspiration to me, I know that!” He thanks the Pacific Rimmers for all they’ve given us, “karaoke, karate, and most of all, watizabi attaku. Shark attack!” And he sharks Jenna.
In her dressing room, Jenna is furious that Tracy didn’t thank her in his speech. She tells Liz she’s going to start acting more like Tracy so she can get more respect. Jenna has a disorder called Paris Hilton Disease, in which sufferers confuse “respect” with attention. Researchers believe many of its causes are environmental. Its highest US concentrations are found in Los Angeles, Williamsburg, and Girls Gone Wild shooting locations. She demands that Liz leave her dressing room so that she can lock herself in it, but she’s miscalculated. “The squirrel! It’s not afraid of people!”
CC comes to talk to Liz. Liz compliments them on their impressive skills as a Celebrities team. CC: “This is that chick who-” Jack: “Venus Williams.” CC: “Remember that time you fell asleep?” Jack: “Captain Beefheart.” CC’s just sorry Liz got stuck with Kenneth. Anyway, she doesn’t want to keep sneaking around with Jack, it’s just getting ridiculous. Cut to CC sneaking in dressed as an Italian plumber (more Luigi than Mario). She knows one of them is going to have to give something up. Liz tries to beg off giving any advice, seeing as she ate a Three Musketeers bar for breakfast and her bra is held together with tape, but CC insists. Liz: “Have you ever compromised for a man before?” CC: “No.” Liz: “Me either. Oh, God, it was my birthday yesterday!” CC: “I’m gonna talk to Jack.” Liz: “Yeah, I think you should.”
The feud in the writers’ room is escalating. Toofer comes in dressed as Frank, in a bright orange t-shirt, wig, fake glasses, and a MOM EXPERT hat. They each demand that the other remove his costume.
CC goes to see Jack, telling him that she convinced the Sheinhardt Wig Company plaintiffs to settle. Jack thinks that’s great. CC tells him they’ll be getting $5,000,000 each, and Jack is incredulous. “That’s NBA sexual assault money!” Not if you’re the Knicks. Their legal dream team can get you 5 mil if Isiah criticed your haircut. CC thinks they deserved more, but the important thing is that she and Jack can go public. Jack says it’s not that simple, he’s still up for the promotion. CC doesn’t think he understands what she gave up for him here, the little orange children deserved their day in court; they were going to to on Oprah. Jack takes this as evidence that it wasn’t really about the kids, this was about her political career, but she won’t apologize for being ambitious. That isn’t a problem for Jack, “I like when a woman has ambition. It’s like seeing a dog wearing clothes.” CC realizes that Jack isn’t willing to sacrifice as much as she is.
Jenna is making good on her threats. Pete tells Liz that she told an NBC tour she was going to get them all pregnant. Meanwhile, Toofer and Frank demand that Liz pay attention to their crisis. She pushes past them to get to Jenna’s dressing room, where she’s confronted by an androgyne, part of Jenna’s new entourage. He’s Sasha, Patrice is on the couch, and Master Alexei is giving Jenna a massage. He guesses her name is probably…Melissa. Jenna won’t be coming to rehearsal; she’s off to get her eyeballs whitened. Patrice: “Oh Melissa, your face is on the phone. Soccer practice is over and you need to pick it up!” Liz: “That’s a pretty good burn, Patrice.”
After accusing Liz of ruining everything and claiming no one understands what he’s going through, Jack spots James Carville in an elevator and gets an idea. He asks Carville how he makes it work with Mary Matalin. Carville says they’ve proved true love can weather any storm, even Desert Storm, but if you’re worried about the opinion of your peers, you need to get out in front of the story, Cajun-syle. “Break the news before your enemies find out, Cajun-style.” Carville also wonders if Jack’s really that concerned about his peers, or if he’s worried by what he’s finding out about himself. Cajun-style.
Frank and Toofer are at an impasse. They don’t want to keep dressing like each other. But if they give up now, it’ll be worse than the time Lutz cried during a diamond commercial. Passing through, Carville gives them some advice. They need to change the story like Karl Rove did, making the election about Swift boats and gay folks. “You didn’t hear it from me, but Josh is starting to do something new with his hair.” He keeps walking and spots another guy to help. “Trying to steal candy from a vending machine? Let me show you how it’s done. Cajun-style.” That was fantastic. Carville was awesome. Cajun-style.
Kenneth asks Liz where Jenna’s new writer, Master Alexei, should go. Tracy’s mad that Jenna’s gone; if she gets to take off, he gets to do the show as his new alter-ego, Professor Cosmatosis. Liz has had enough. She finds Jenna asking her if she likes being difficult? Of course, Jenna loves it. “I should’ve been doing it the whole time.” Liz explains that she has been difficult, launching into a monologue. “Your online fan club? That’s me. I made Frank do that as a punishment after he farted in my chair. And when you did that morning radio show last the other week? Every caller was me. And this award you just got? It’s a cookie. I don’t wanna have to do this stuff, but I do, because you’re so insecure you get jealous of babies for their soft skin. I have lost years of my life taking care of you. I lie awake at night wondering what fresh hell tomorrow will bring. I don’t sleep; I don’t eat right, thanks to you and Tracy Jordan, mostly you.” Jenna is thrilled to be such a pain in the ass. She’s ready to get back to work.
Frank and Toofer deflect attention from their defused feud by pointing out Josh’s new dumb faux-hawk.
Jack lures CC back to 30 Rock and asks her to follow his lead. They go into the executive dining room, where he gets their attention. “Gentlemen…Token ladies.” He comes clean about his relationship. “She wants to tax us all to death and make it legal for a man to marry his own dog, but I think what we have is special, and I’m proud of her, and I’m not going to hide it any longer. I’m Jack Donaghy, dammit, and this is my woman.” Another man gets up and confesses that he gave to NPR last year. Token lady: “My children go to public school.” A guy: “I’m gay.” Another: “I’m black.” CC is touched. “Jack, thank you so much. And I just want you to know that, in 1984, I voted for Ronald Reagan.” Spontaneous applause breaks out. An old man stands up. “I murdered my wife!” Smash cut to the credits.
Holiday Funtime commercialprogrampart2: Kenneth is talking to a fake snowman, telling it that he thinks the Secret Rodney gift exchange went well. He gives it a bunch of iPods, since he had so many laying around after her emptied their gum boxes. “Kenneth,” a voice calls over his shoulder, “I am Secret Rodney!” A towering figure in a green cloak and hockey mask is revealed. If it were a Holocaust Cloak, it would look a lot like the Dread Pirate Roberts storming the castle. Secret Rodney demands that Kenneth take a case of snack cakes and leave them by the elevator for him. Kenneth leaves. Frank and Josh decloak, pleased with their handiwork, even if Josh isn’t clear why Frank had to be in there too.
This episode was awesome and filled with great quotes (as you can see). Even the Holiday Funtime interstitials were funnier this time around. Carville was fantastic in his cameo. The Toofer-Frank rivalry was a fun C-plot, Jenna’s entourage made good use of their time on-screen, and Liz remained the calm center who’s still one step away from being a bag lady or an engineer. Everyone had something to do and all the plots interwove without it being forced. Thanks to Yostal for all
the lines I stole his help. Cajun-style.