Commercialism: From Mediocre Slogan to Just Plain Abomination Thursday, December 6, 2007Posted by Greek McPapadopoulos in the balls.
Tags: Commercialism, Greek McPapadopoulos, Hipster Music, UPS no longer likes brown people
A long time ago, I started this feature as an excuse to show the original Bruce Campbell “Hungry Like the Wolf” Old Spice ad. Well, that’s what you probably thought since I never followed up on it. But since it’s Christmas time now, the time when we bow in praise of the almighty Canadian Dollar and commercialism reigns supreme, it seemed as good a time as any to revive this feature. And just to show that I paid attention to the feedback, I’m honoring a request.
I’m taking down the travesty that is the UPS “Whiteboard” campaign.
What does this have to do with Christmas: Uhh…I guess you can ship your not-last-minute gifts using UPS. Internationally, even.
What is the concept: Apparently, the idea is that UPS explains things that you took for granted about shipping, and instead proclaims them to be novel, new ideas since they slap the word “UPS” in front of it. Want to ship freight? Well now you can, with UPS Freight. That’s awesome. And it’s all done with slightly changing drawings!
What does this commercial get right: Well, I like drawings. In theory. And that’s really all I can say.
What went wrong: Everything else. First of all, kudos to UPS for bucking conventional wisdom and choosing a smug douche as your new spokesperson. Contrary to what one may think, people really respond positively to people that they hate for no particular reason. And great call by the styling department for giving said spokesperson the atrocious haircut used by Tom Hanks in “The DaVinci Code”, which of course was very successful and should constantly be emulated. I also want to commend the use of “Such Great Heights”, since it shows that you know the youth market–we want to catch them young, before they’re tempted by the mistress FedEx (I may just be upset that the decent part of the song begins right as the commercial ends). And I love the attempt at humor, where at the end of each commercial Smug Asshat decides to start messing with his artistic creations by adding “cute” little details, like fucking tailwind. That’s all greatly appreciated.
Conclusion: Sweet merciful crap thank god it’s only a 30 second spot. However, now that it’s on constantly once again, I may start boycotting all shorts.