30 Rock 2.07: Betrayal: What Really Happened With My Baseball Team, Disaster at Knuckle Beach? Tuesday, December 4, 2007Posted by The Bad One in 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One.
Tags: 30 rock, douglas macarthur, The Bad One
Liz is busy making excuses not to hang out with her co-workers. Lutz and Frank are going to pretend to be foreigners in Times Square. Jenna and Recently Divorced Camera Guy are going to meet for drinks with Legally Separated Sound Guy. Tracy is going to an animals-only strip club. Liz: “Does that mean the animals strip, or the animals are the customers?” Tracy: “Animal customers? That’s ridiculous!” Instead she’s getting a carry-out from a place that knows her by her order (Meatball sub, extra bread). Jack walks by and guesses her itinerary, but Liz denies that she’s just going to sit home and watch a Tivo’d Top Chef (NBC family pos-men!). Well then, in that case she won’t mind if he spoils her that Casey gets kicked off. Liz: “You monster! Why are you like this?!“
Tracy brings in the Little League team he’s coaching as part of his community service to meet Jack. Jack’s thrilled to meet the little miscreants from Knuckle Beach (the worst part of the city!). Baseball taught him to be a winner. In the Boston city finals, everyone thought his team was going to lose because they were all white and the other team was…anyway…Baseball taught him to dream. The kids have their own dreams. One kid dreams of doing vending machine maintenance, another of getting shot by a cop and suing the city, and a third shoots for the stars, yearning to become a talkative doorman with a drinking problem. Jack is distressed. These are not the dreams of winners. Shot-by-a-cop likes his office. He could clean one just like it some day. Jack decides that they need role models. Shot-by-a-cop: “Like R Kelly and Michael Vick!”
Jamie the coffee guy we’ve never seen is distributing the orders. Jenna is quick to pounce, complimenting his highlights as “very Simon LeBon.” He doesn’t know who that is. Liz tells her to give it up, she’s talking to an ultrasound. Jamie: “Now I’m getting attitude from the sexy librarian over there!” Liz, flustered: “Sexy? You are. Shut up.” As he walks away, Frank is dumbstruck by Jamie’s beauty, and Lutz mocks him for his big gay crush.
Near a statue of Jefferson Davis, Tracy’s team circles up after practice. There’s a weird dude nearby and Tracy doesn’t want to get shot.. Jack’s limo pulls up. Shot-by-a-cop: “Hey, guys! It’s that king we met!” He and Kenneth are bearing new uniforms, compliments of the Shinehardt Wig Company. It’s part of his philosophy that you should dress for success, hence his involvement with a charity that gives tuxedos to the homeless. Cut to a vagrant in a tux shoveling shrimp into his hand at a wedding. Tracy tries to explain that the kids don’t care about winning; they just want to go outside.
Jamie walks into Liz’s office. Frank jumps in and gets overly familiar with Jamie, but Liz kicks him out. With Frank gone, Jamie asks if she’s doing anything on Saturday. Liz: “Just gellin’ like Magellan”. She is so not gellin’. A friend of Jamie’s is DJing at a gallery opening. Liz is resistant, asking him how old he thinks she is. When he goes with 29, and tells her he’s 25, he manages to melt her defenses and get the date. Frank returns, bearing a new sweater he bought Jamie, just to move up the creepy ladder. Jamie makes his escape and Liz demands that Frank quit it. But he can’t help it, he’s gay for Jamie! Liz doesn’t think you can be gay for one person, unless you’re a lady and you meet Ellen. I disagree. Anne Heche is crazy, not a lady.
Liz and Jenna are in costuming. She can’t believe she lied about her age, but Jenna encourages her to keep it up. She always rolls with it when hot guys think she’s 22. 22? What are the units on that? They can’t help it, they’re cougars. OK, can we just let that word go forever? It’s gone beyond oversaturation. Frank emerges, clad in a way-too-small striped tank top and shiny purple scarf around his throat. He’s trying to figure some stuff out.
Jack calls Tracy in for a meeting. He wants to follow Phil Jackson’s example and wants Tracy to tell him which Churchill biography would most improve Rasheed’s bunting. Tracy doesn’t think Jack undertands where these kids come from. Jack thinks that’s irrelevant. What’s great about America is that we can go into any place, impose our values, and make things better. “It’s what Bush is doing all over the globe.” Tracy: “Bush! Now, I don’t want to go off on a rant here…” And then he stops. Awesome.
Montage! With stirring music! Riding mower in the outfield, lines being painted. Kids in their new uniforms toppling the statue of Jefferson Davis and celebrating. Jack looking exactly like Douglas Macarthur (complete with jacket, binoculars, and hat), surveying his Field of Imposed Values in a spinning shot that reveals a “FUN TIMES ACCOMPLISHED” banner hung from the backstop.
It doesn’t matter. They lose 11-0 and Jack is furious. There was nothing Churchillian about that performance! Jack blames Tracy and fires him, putting Kenneth in charge of the team.
Art gallery. Jamie’s glad Liz likes the music. Liz: “Yeah, speaking of music I like, how about that Gnarls Barkley? Have you been to his official website?” It’s 1:00AM, but Jamie tells Liz he thought they could go to Marquee. It only serves drinks until 4:00, but he knows and after hours club– “I’m 37!”, Liz blurts. “I’m 37. Please don’t make me go to Brooklyn.” Jamie admits he’s 20. Liz: “Oh boy. This just went from a senior dating a freshman to Mary Kay Latourneau and Billy ().” Jamie doesn’t know who those people are. Liz, spotting Jack: “Oh, when will death come?”
Jack is amused by Liz’s date with Jamie. He compliments her on her youthful companion; it’s the ultimate status symbol. She claims it’s different for men, but Jack calls her out as sexist. To Jamie, Liz is a very powerful woman. He wonders why she’s so against fun. Liz: “I’m not against having fun! I went up on my roof the other day!”
Jack checks in with Kenneth, but things on the team have deteriorated. He wants to know what the kids have against his grandfather, because they keep on saying “Kill Whitey!” and Kenneth’s like, “What do you think you are, alcohol?” Jack thinks the kids are testing their resolve and it’s best to stay the course.
At practice the next day, it’s chaos. The kids are fighting each other and destroying all the new stuff Jack bought them, except for the new bats. Which they’re using to destroy the new stuff. Jack yells at them to stop, which leads to an organized, well-armed charge.
In the hall, Jenna has decided to compete and brings in Aiden and his Nintendo DS. He claims to be a freshman at NYU. And by “NYU” I think he means “Stuyvesant High.” She is essentially his stepmom. He heelys out of there.
Liz gets grief for her relationship in the writers’ room, when who should show up but Jamie. He asks her (in front of everyone) if she wants to get lunch, but she’s too busy. He’s disappointed until she buys him off with a new X-Box copy of Bio-Shock. His joy is short-lived, as Frank jumps in with a painting he made as a gift. It’s called “One Armed Mermaid Who’s Part Unicorn With Bigfoot.”
It’s hard for Jack to admit his mistakes, so he makes Kenneth apologize for him to Tracy. Jack says they have two options: Cut and run, or form a coalition. All the kids wrote letters to ask him to come back. Jack has a one-word plan to turn the kids into winners: “Surge!” Tracy: “That’s two words!”
Frank finds Jamie carrying an empty box around and demands resolution from this Sam and Diane dance. Jamie tells Frank he’s not gay, but that’s OK, neither is Frank. They’re just two straight guys who want to enjoy each other’s bodies. That’s pretty gay, if you ask me. Jamie leaves.
It turns out Jack’s surge consists of Grizz, Dotcom and their forged Dominican birth certificates. The team is finally winning.
Liz comes over to pick up Jamie from his apartment. She bought him a leather bracelet he was looking at, because she’s just that ill. They look at each other in the mirror. Liz: “Now I know why Demi Moore does this.” Jamie’s pleased he gets that reference. He then lets his mom know he’s going out. His mom who looks almost exactly like Liz. Liz is not down with the Oedipal
At work, it’s gotten awkward. Jack tells her that even though all May-December relationships end humiliatingly, it’s worth it because they make you feel more alive, they open you up to new points of view, they offer stimulating conversation…as they pass Aiden echoing everything Jenna says in that stupid way my sister always used to drive me nuts. Jack: “Of course, there are exceptions. Thank God I’m off the market.” Liz picks this up and asks if he’s seeing anyone. Jack lies, claiming that GE is his girlfriend. It’s Jack-like enough that she accepts that as an explanation.
Tag: Frank’s dancing in a gay club amidst shirtless and/or leather-clad guys. He realizes that he’s not gay, just gay for Jamie. A motorcycle enthusiast doesn’t think that’s a thing, but Frank is firm in his convictions. As he leaves, one guy camps it up. “Byyyeee, sexy bear!” Motorcycle enthusiast: “Terrance! You make us all look so bad!” They resume dancing.