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30 Rock 2.02: ME WANT FOOD! Monday, November 26, 2007

Posted by The Bad One in 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One.
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Liz walks into Jack’s office, where there’s a $54 steak on the table. After his cardiac episode, he can’t eat it, but he wants to watch her enjoy it. Liz is OK with that. Jack wants to know if she’s seen the new Don Geiss interview in Yachting Illustrated. Liz: “No, I subscribe to Giant Boats“. In it, he makes a confused metaphor about the sea that concludes with “all things must end,” from which Jack draws that Geiss will be retiring soon. Jack has to do something to position himself in the competition to fill Geiss’s chair. He turns back to Liz, shocked. “You ate that whole thing?” Liz, her mouth full: “A dog took it. He came out of nowhere.”


Jenna is on a crash diet to lose all the weight she gained from performing in Mystic Pizza: The Musical and it’s making her more lightheaded than usual. It’s the Japanese Porn Star Diet: She can only eat paper, but she can eat as much paper as she wants. Liz tries to convince Jenna she’s just as beautiful and talented as ever, but Jack walks by, corrects her, and orders Jenna to Dr. Spaceman’s to get it taken care of.

Liz is annoyed by the body image double standard. Jack tells her to stop wasting her time on making the world a better place instead of working on her personal life. She hasn’t returned that wedding dress (she claims she’ll be selling it online) and she hasn’t assembled her home office furniture from Blërg yet. She also missed a dentist appointment and she’s got a toothache.

Jack spots Devin Banks hanging around. He introduces his new fiancée, Cathy. Cathy Geiss. She’s Don’s daughter, plain and fifty-ish. “Can you believe that Don thought she’d never get married?” Jack points out that Devin is gay. Not anymore! The Church of Practicology, the religion founded by the alien king living inside Stan Lee, has drained the gay away. Banks also knows Geiss is thinking about retirement from his interview in the Harvard Gay Business Review. “But I guess I’ll find out more about that tonight at dinner. With Geiss. At a restaurant.”

Kenneth thinks Tracy should apologize to Angie, but things have been said that can’t be taken back. She called his vanity license plate, ICU81MI, “inscrutable.” Tracy: “Angie is in the past, like Dracula and broadcast television.” He claims that he’d be fine if he saw her with another man. This gives Kenneth an idea.

Dr. Spaceman is informing Jenna that, for her height, her weight puts her in the Disgusting range. Parnell: “Fortunately, there are solutions. For example, crystal meth has been shown to be very effective. How important is tooth retention to you?” Jenna: “It’s…pretty important. What about my crazy surgical options, Dr. Spaceman?” He recommends the Bradshaw Clinic to her, which she recognizes as the place where the Olsen twins were separated.

Banks is on the prowl for Kenneth. Kenneth’s virtue and loyalty are not to be compromised; however, he manages to reveal Jack’s secret heart attack.

Jenna has decided to go for liposuction plus bone shaving and organ reduction. Liz is concerned. “Is this clinic on a boat?” Frank comes in. He has a new character for Jenna, called “Me want food.” She’s in a supermarket and all she does is shout “Me want food!” Liz shoots this down immediately and quickly accepts Jenna’s request to sing a song on the show while rollerdancing. It’s a great idea Liz thinks, “We can dare America to change their own attitudes about body image.” Frank’s annoyed that everything has to be an issue, “Don’t you have things to do in your own life?” She claims to have her life together, but that’s undermined when her tooth falls out onto her desk.

Tracy’s going over the box of stuff Angie brought over. He’s got his key to the city of Gary, Indiana and the gold record from that novelty party song he did. Cut to the painfully low-budget “Thriller” rip-off video. Tracy sings. “Werewolf bar mitzvah / Spooky, scary / Boys becoming men / Men becoming wolves!” It’s hilarious. Angie’s leaving, but she gives Tracy an opening to apologize. He instead uses it to say goodbye to Grizz. Kenneth comes over and puts his plan into action. Kenneth: “Hello Angie. I hear you’re single now, that’s cool…I like your top. I’m a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.” She catches on and tells him to come over any time. Kenneth: “Oh, I will. I’ll come over at night!”

Geiss dinner. Jack has found their party, much to Devin’s chagrin. “I never should have said we were going to a restaurant.”

Jenna’s performing her singing rollerdance. It’s horrible and awkward. The crew are noting how big she got. She’s off-balance and crashes to the ground in front of the audience, who react with stunned silence. She gets up off the ground and saves herself with a big “ME WANT FOOD!”

Geiss gustation. Devin loads up Jack with steak and wine in an effort to expose his heart attack. Geiss invites Jack up to the house over the weekend. Devin encourages him to come for a weekend full of team sports, beer, burgers, and possibly butter. He leans over to Jack to make himself clearer, “I’m gonna make your heart explode.”

The next day, Tracy has something on his mind grapes he wants to talk to Kenneth about. He saw him hitting on Angie. He knows those years fooling around weren’t fair to her, so he wants Kenneth to go over to his house and sex her up. Dude, call Bill Belichick. This is not a job for Kenneth. He gives Kenneth the keys to his car. His address is in the GPS under “Da Crib” because they live on Da Crib Avenue.

Outside, Jenna and Liz are walking. Jenna’s happy that people laughed, but Liz can’t let it go that they were laughing at her. The body image thing is still getting to her. “It’s like those Dove commercials never happened.” People on the street start recognizing Jenna and shouting “ME WANT FOOD!” at her. She even sees unlicensed t-shirts bearing her caricature and new catchphrase. She’s thrilled with getting the attention she craves.

Out at Geiss’s house, Jack’s playing touch football on the lawn and is seriously winded. Devin starts taunting him about his heart condition. Jack spots a well-conditioned friend, Winthrop, and calls him over. Devin’s Practicology training starts to crack even before he learns that Winthrop wrestled at Yale. Jack claims to Winthrop that Devin said he could pin him. Winthrop can’t let a challenge like that stand and jumps him. Devin is ecstatic. “Oh, you’re having your way with me! Your back is like a barrel of snakes!”

Tracy is having second thoughts. He imagines Kenneth in an eye patch with a bottle of champagne, then giving Angie a backrub while Grizz gives Kenneth a backrub. He has to stop this.

Jenna’s decide to back out of her crazy surgical procedure. She goes to tell Liz, “People recognize me, and I get off on it!” Liz can’t take that; they have to be proving a point to the world. Jenna tells her to stop trying to run people’s lives when her treadmill is serving as a hanger for a wedding dress and she’s wearing a one-piece swimsuit instead of underwear.

Jack is resting in the shade, so Devin comes to taunt him some more, but he starts choking on his hot dog. Before assisting him, Jack extracts a promise from Devin not to destroy him in front of Geiss. Banks declares Jack the winner of the football game. Winthrop comes flying in to jump him for being a quitter. Devin: “Oh, God! Just like the Greeks!”

Tracy enters his house to kill Kenneth, but it’s all for naught. Kenneth went over to Tracy’s, tried to kiss Angie, then booted all over the foyer and started crying. Tracy explains he was trying to say he’s sorry, but Angie’s at the end of her rope. “No more jewelry with my name misspelled, no more sexually-explicit skywriting, and now more white boys throwin’ up in my damn foyer!” Tracy wants to know what she does want. The rules are simple: He doesn’t get to leave her side ever.

Liz cleans up her apartment. She finds use for the wedding dress as a prop for the short leg on her Blërg desk.

Jack sits in a chair on the lawn next to a little girl with a burger, wondering if it’s all worth it. Geiss comes over for a chat. Devin had told him about Jack’s heart, but he’s not concerned anymore after today. Geiss knows he’s not going to be head of the company forever– He wants to spend time with his grandkids, take his boat down to the islands, maybe get to know his secret family in Canada. He thinks Jack has a shot at taking over.

I love Will Arnett in the Devin Banks role. He’s terrific and he doesn’t overshadow the rest of the cast like some other guest stars. This is one of the least Liz-centric episodes we’ve seen; almost all of the plot revolves around Jack, Jenna, and Tracy. And “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” is always, always funny.



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