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The Crotchety Young Bastard: Where The Hell Was My Summer Song? Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Posted by Greek McPapadopoulos in Greek McPapadopoulos.
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Despite being physically young, I often find myself with enough vindictiveness that could last several lifetimes. Hence, the title of this column. If I come up with a better explanation, this shall be replaced.

It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which means it’s perfect timing for analyzing summer music.  What says the end of summer like Thanksgiving (I mean, besides something like Labor Day–that’s too obvious)?  As one of the few people that still listens to rock radio, I have a vested interest in what is played.  And let me tell you, this summer it was absolute crap (more so than usual!).  Not only was there nothing good to hear, but I couldn’t even take my mind off the dreadful summer heat with a good “summer song”.  Let’s analyze this further…

First off, there seemed to be a heavier emphasis on absolutely terrible “new rock” than usual.  You couldn’t escape the sounds of Linkin Park’s latest sorry whinefest, no matter how mediocre it was by even Linkin Park’s unbelievably low standards.  No, radio stations had to play the shit out of it, regardless.  Three Days Grace also got heavy airplay, which was a tragedy.  I still haven’t forgiven this band for releasing “I Hate Everything About You”, which not only is one of the worst songs ever written, but as Your Band Sucks explains, is twice as bad because it reminds you of another terrible song, Ugly Kid Joe’s “(I Hate) Everything About You”.   We also had the Sick Puppies (uuugh) make it big, which is unfortunate, as well as the abortion that is Plain White T’s “Hey There Delilah”.  Jesus, we even had to endure the return of Puddle of Mudd, who somehow had a hit that stole its best line from Dire Straits’ “Money for Nothing”.  And just for the record, I have to say that Nickelback’s “Rock Star” is a war crime.   Thank God I only was forced to listen to it once–I’m still in recovery from that one.

The problem was that you couldn’t even rely on the heavy hitters to come through with a good tune.  Who wasn’t psyched for new music from Queens of the Stone Age?  Unfortunately, they released “Sick, Sick, Sick” as the single, and despite the fact that it owns one badass riff, the muddy vocals on the song completely ruin it.  Perhaps I’m just upset that they didn’t release “I Wanna Make it Wit Chu” as a single–the laidback chillout song would’ve been perfect for relaxing on the beach as the radio playing, hence making it a perfect summer song.  As it is, nobody really heard it, and when I use the line “I Wanna Make it Wit Chu” at a bar, I am met with either utter confusion or a grab of the rape whistle.

It got so bad that even Beck was fed up with this shit.  I believe he was listening to the radio one day in August, and just said “fuck it”, smoked a bowl, and listened to the last Go! Team record.  Then he banged out “Timebomb”, which mediocre by his standards, at least gave the end of summer something that resembled a “summer song”.

The only song that I really enjoyed hearing this summer was Interpol’s “The Heinrich Maneuver”.  It was upbeat, catchy, and even overcame the ignominy of starting off with the same exact two notes as their previous lead single “Slow Hands” (for the record, that would be G and B, with different rhythms).    Interpol always has a great bridge-to-climax ending to their song, and Heinrich was no different–the final verse of “I have a chance for a sweet saint life” is brilliant, and when the drums switch up to a galloping beat for its repeat, the song turns into a classic.

Hope you enjoyed this timely recap.  I’ll get back to you with my “Best of 2007” sometime in July, I imagine.



1. DougOLis - Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I would like to nominate Against Me!’s Thrash Unreal. It got some serious airplay down here through most of the summer.

The White Stripes’s Icky Thump is another solid nom.

2. Clare - Wednesday, November 21, 2007

What, no love for “Umbrella” (ella ella ella, eh, eh, eh)? Just kidding.

Our Love to Admire was a good record. It had a sunny quality that Antics didn’t have.

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