Urban HIMYMs: “Third Wheel” — Running Down a Dream Wednesday, October 10, 2007Posted by Yostal in Gen X&Y, How I Met Your Mother, Television, Things too long to read, TV, TV shows, Urban HIMYMs, Yostal.
Tags: HIMYM, How I Met Your Mother, TV, TV shows, Urban HIMYMs, Yostal
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to my season’s worth of recaps for How I Met Your Mother. Welcome, once more, to Urban HIMYMs.
I’m already giddy as I wait for the episode to start because there are two words in the info guide that set my heart all a flutter: Danica McKellar. That’s right, Winnie Cooper herself is making her second HIMYM in a guest starring role tonight, and I couldn’t be more excited. Danica McKellar, actress turned math whiz turned actress turned author turned actress once more. (I bought my sister the math teacher Danica’s book just because I still have a crush. On Danica, not my sister. What is wrong with you people!)
And away we go…
So we have the setup that there are just some stories you don’t tell. Ted calls Barney in a fluster, because he’s going for the belt. Marshall and Barney are playing the Wii and discussing the coolness of British words and the fact that lawyers there get to wear wigs. Well, I mean, sure, they do, but really, is it worth it Marshall?
Ted’s ready to roll, he suited up, but Marshall and Barney are in the middle of Wimbledon, so they’re not going. So Ted goes without the guys, but they promise to be down, three beers, five minutes.
Lily explains that she got the boots in a feeding frenzy at a shoe store in the Village. “You just made the list, bitch!” No one delivers the aggressive rebuke quite like Allyson Hannigan. Robin explains that the high boots are a part of her strict new no shave policy for the first three dates, but “Guys just want to get on the green, they don’t mind going through the rough.” –The Wisdom of Barney Stinson, ladies and gentlemen.
So Ted has ordered the beers and is looking for the guys, but they’re not coming. Ted confirms this by asking if Marshall has taken his pants off, and of course he has, for “this is Wimbledon”, and he needs “the freedom and mobility that only underwear can provide”…That’s it, I’m getting myself a Wii for Christmas. Wii Tennis just looks like way too much fun.
Ted is left to wallow on his own with just three beers to keep him company, but that’s a bad story, so wait…Danica!
Danica is playing Trudy, of course, from the Pineapple incident, (she slept with him and climbed down the fire escape) and now they’re chatting it up as if it were old times. Ted’s getting his charming groove on and then Rachel walks in and then there is some girlish squealing as the Kappa Epsilon Gamma girls get all BFFy. Wait, Kappa Epsilon Gamma, KEG…Clever!
By the way, I am officially convinced that what just happened this is how sorority sisters sound in the wild. You will not convince me otherwise. All of your letters, cards, telegrams, and angry comments will not convince me otherwise. Eventually, they just hit a frequency that men cannot hear. And truth be told, we should probably be grateful for that.
So Ted resigns himself to spending some QT with the three beers, when Rachel comes over and explains that they have gotten a table and Ted’s attempt to extricate himself is met with Rachel’s exceptionally annoying blonde chick “I want you to stay.” Honestly, if I’m Ted, I’m still getting the hell out of there.
Meanwhile, back at the apartment, Marshall’s British accent rears its head, but Barney claims his loss comes from Marshall having been “hanging crumpet” since the third set. Ted calls and explains the situation, and Barney says that he should go for the new girl, because you should “Always party with Dr. Strangelove.” Lily, steps in, claims that all Betas are sluts, and says she’ll come down to help assess the situation.
Bangers and mash…Yes, Britishness is Britishness and dick jokes are dick jokes.
We come back to the girls are having an old fight, and Ted’s in the middle of it, and Lily’s assessment is that their playing with their hair and touching their arms indicate that both girls are into him. Why don’t I ever meet these women?!? Even just one of them? Seriously?
Oh, wait, Robin’s off flirting with a British doctor. Welcome to B-plot land Robin. We have to do something with you tonight.
Robin beeps into Lily’s conversation with Ted asking Lily to bring her a razor, saying that her restraint has been “Surgically removed by Dr. Awesome” and while Lily is arguing against it, Robin gets her moving with two words…British accent.
Back with Ted and the girls, there is an implication of “the one thing we wanted to do”, and now Ted is pushing for information. So they tell him on three…It’s a tricycle. Barney is agog, so is Marshall, but Lily restates it for the record “All sorority girls are sluts.” So Barney asks for clarification that he has a shot at the belt, for they have a running joke, the first guy to pull this off would win the belt. Barney actually bought a belt. Now, I need to make it clear, I have my own belt. I don’t own, but I’m currently in possession of one won at College Park, Maryland last April. That’s right, I’m a Keenan.
So now Barney has to run through the bylaws:
Is the aggregate age under 83? Check.
Is the aggregate weight of the participants under 400 pounds…fuck, I’m out. Really, it’s not a fair question, even if you have lost 40 pounds since June.
Wait, maybe that’s why I have never even gotten to this stage in the bylaws. Well, that’s encouraging.
No, wait, I’m sorry, even if you check in as 165 as a guy, you’re still not leaving a whole lot of wiggle room there. Boo Barney.
The girls look like they’re getting ready to leave, until Trudy suggests that they could go listen to the Wilco CD which is upstairs.
So Marshall and Lily acting like a married couple, scenarios running amok, when Robin calls asking Lily where she is because right now Robin is convinced that she looks like a Turkish lesbian. Robin asks is $20 would buy a razor from the drug store across the street, and the waitress says no, but $50 will. Robin should have been smart and offered her $20 Canadian. It would have been a sweeter deal.
And now they are retiring to the apartment, and now, OK, I hate the blonde. Genuinely hate the blonde (played by Busy Phillips). Seriously, even if she wasn’t Danica, I’d still be going after the brunette. And because she is Danica, well…
And we’re back from commercial and Marshall, Lily, and Barney are all in Ted’s bedroom, and Barney’s not happy, and busts the Wilco CD because he cannot allow Ted to win the belt. (Ted, why don’t you have an iPod here? Seriously?) Barney explains that he was close to riding the tricycle, but disaster ensued. But Barney’s actions upset Ted, who accuses of Barney of a tryke block (trike block? What’s the spelling here?), and of being so Petty, he’s Tom Petty. Well, you know, the waiting IS the hardest part.
But now it’s Lily who has the issues because blondie out there stole the boots from her, but Ted covers full retail for the boots, and all is forgiven. (In watching this sequence, Busy Phillips’ entire repertoire seems to consist of smell the fart acting. It’s just stunning.)
Meanwhile, off in Robin’s B-plot, she gets a razor without shaving cream, gets into a tiff with the waitress, and now she must figure out how to cover. The restaurant is out of soap, so she gets butter, and eventually a head injury. OK, I’m sorry, I hate to say it, but the B-Plot smacks of a leftover from Friends.
Ted comes back out and settles back in with the girls, when all of the sudden, visions of the belt dancing in his head, he offers to get their coats. After Ted freaks out, he flees to the bedroom, much to Marshall and Lily’s horror, but Barney explains that he, too, shot himself in the foot. Barney explains that you get up in your head, two women, that’s two of everything, four of some things, the logistics alone are enough to cripple a pro like him. Ted sees the odds he’s facing, but Barney refuses to let fear win another round. Barney realizes his destiny is to help his friend win the belt, to go there first, for he is our Neil Armstrong. Space suit up Ted.
Step one: A dressing gown and a remote control fireplace. Ted steps out of the moment to point out he does not have a remote control fireplace. But he has tequila…
Step two: Involves dancing and physical exhaustion, which opens the door for physical contact #1
Step three: Foot massage which uses the caregiver angle. Barney reminds Ted to “Never take family values out of the equation.”
Step four: Supervolcanoes could obliterate all life on Earth, leading to Ted’s “motto”, three simple words: Don’t postpone joy. Ted appreciates the mortality angle.
Lily is moved and actually calls for the huddle hug, and I have to say, I am a fan.
That said, I still really really hate the blonde. We hear giggling from the bedroom, and the rest is smoke, mirrors, and implications.
Ted, at the bar, says that it doesn’t seem right to talk about it. Barney fights through it, but Ted comes back to Some stories you tell, some stories you don’t. Barney is going back and forth and eventually is simply left with “Ted. Belt.”
As we come back, Robin’s b-story gets closure, not that we needed it, and the waitress gets the British surgeon as Robin’s head is bleeding and she passes out. You know, someone might want to check on her, it’s not like we have universal health care in this country.
Considering the implausibility of the situation, it was a solid episode, I definite enjoyed the belt angle, the British theme early on, and Barney’s true colors as Ted’s friend. But still, you’re dealing with the tricycle, and when you’re someone who has enough of a difficult time finding a bicycle, it just seems unfair. Then again, some stories you tell, some stories you don’t.
So, that’s all I have for this week’s edition of Urban HIMYMs. With that, this is Yostal reminding you to just chill, ‘til the next episode.