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Survivor: Sister Christian, Oh Your Time Has Come. Friday, October 5, 2007

Posted by ladyandrea in Lady Andrea, reality TV, survivor.
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We get previouslies where Jean-Robert is a big ol’ slacker; Leslie cries for Jesus; boobies are pixelated; Jaime gives Leslie the clue, who promptly tells Todd like a giant retard; Dave makes a fireplace; Flying Dragon wins and Ashley is sent home. Who will go home from Fighting Tiger…….TONIGHT?

Back at Flying Dragon, Jean-Robert’s snoring is gross and ridiculous and he’s trying to snuggle up on people and they don’t like it. It’s understandable because he’s disgusting. Leslie says, “Maybe it’s the silk shirt and the no underwear.” Heh. All the women interview that they really don’t like him. He says he needs to be warm, but God. Read a room, dude.

In the morning, James catches a crab and talks about using him to make a stew, but Aaron doesn’t want to.  It is unclear what Aaron actually wants to do with it, so James wins out. In a giant stride forward for feminism, Leslie interviews that her husband gets cranky when he’s hungry, so she makes sure her man is fed. *smacks head* James says more in one interview than I’ve heard him say on all previous episodes combined, talking about how he read a survival book before he came and now he’s like Crocodile Dundee out here. Heeee.

Wildbeast, emerging from the water.

Over at Fighting Tiger, Dave is…..adding on to the fireplace or something. PG wants him to conserve energy because they basically lost the last one because of him. She tries to explain this to him and he makes kissy noises at her. God, he sucks. He talks about balancing his chi or whatever and says, through gritted teeth, that “it’s not ROCKET SCIENCE.” He is such a fruitcake. There’s some controversy about bricks and expending energy and it’s just boring and stupid. I think everybody is like “damn, we should’ve voted out Dave.”

At the reward challenge, there is a boat out in the water that is very Chinese-looking. Because WE’RE IN CHINA! DON’T FORGET! In this challenge, it’s another 3-on-3 where they engage in hand-to-hand combat to throw the opposing tribe members off the boat. First tribe to get all 3 off gets a point. They will alternate women and men facing off. The reward is blankets and pillows, a tarp, rope, and a kerosene lantern. Flying Dragon has to sit out a man and a woman, so they sit out Courtney and Todd. They are serious about this. I don’t know if I’d necessarily want to guarantee that the two “munchkins” have to participate in the Immunity Challenge. Hmmm. (Turns out I’m smarter than I look. Spoiler!)

Women are first: Sherea, PG and Jaime vs Amanda, Leslie and Denise. Sherea is back to the skanky bra and underwear. The Fighting Tiger women make short work of Amanda, Leslie and Denise. Point for Fighting Tiger. Next up is men and Dave strips naked. It’s Frosti, Erik and Dave vs James, JR and Aaron. I know where my money is. James is YOOGE. And point for Flying Dragon. Women go again. There is some pixelated boobage. Dayum. I am impressed by PG and Jaime’s scrappiness, another point for Fighting Tiger. Men go again and if Fighting Tiger wins, they win the challenge. There is a giant manpile and Dave, Aaron and Frosti go in together. JR and Erik tumble in together and James is last man standing AGAIN. It’s down to the women. I don’t like Flying Dragon’s chances. Jaime and PG go on the offensive and Amanda goes in. Sherea sends Leslie in and it’s 3 on Denise. They roll her off and Fighting Tiger wins their first challenge. Interesting. I would not have pegged those 3 women to win all 3 face-offs. Also, clearly it hinged on whether men or women went first. If the men had gone first, Flying Dragon would’ve won. Tiger gets to kidnap a member just like last time. They steal Leslie. Hmmm. She gets a secret tube just like Jaime did last week.

Back at Fighting Tiger, some jaunty Chinese music plays and a monkey scampers up a tree. They celebrate their win and Erik gives a snuggly little hug to Jaime. *cocks eyebrow* Leslie thinks this camp has a leg-up, morale-wise. Wow, really? They put on a better show, I guess. They take turns making each other laugh as they jump off a cliff into the river and swim together. Jaime puts Leslie on the spot with talking about her tribe and she spills her fucking guts. Goddamn, Leslie! Shut the fuck up! She says she’s here to love people and show them the love of Christ. OH FOR FUCK’S SAKE. She says her tribe is cynical. Well, obviously her tribe is full of godless heathens.

In a nice bit of editing, we cut to JR and James talking about her, calling her “Sister Christian,” which is AWESOME. Hahahaha. They then start talking about how the two of them and Denise need to stay. JR says that Courtney is gonna be first to go, as she and Todd are right near by and hear them. Wow. James defends Courtney, saying she does stuff around camp. JR says that’s not true, but jokes that James like her because he wants to hit that. “Only thing better than a million dollars is a million dollars and some ass.” Nice, you gross, gross man. James says he’s not interested and that he just wants a million dollars and a sandwich. Hahaha. Todd says his attitude towards them is going to change. He says James and JR are the trash and need to be taken out. I disagree with James being the trash, but JR is definitely the trash and needs to go.

Snake, slithering over somebody’s orange bra. At least it’s not barfing up another snake.

Leslie opens her secret tube of secretness, even though she knows what’s in it. She gives her clue to Jaime because she lives by the Golden Rule and whatnot. They have a clever “ruse” where Jaime goes to show Leslie where she can change her clothes, although everybody sees that Leslie has the secret tube of secretness with her. Sneaky. The camera makes sure to show us where the idol is, which is the same place as the other tribe. This clue has two clues, the same as before and one that tells her to look above the ground. The idol looks pretty high off the ground, which is interesting because how do you get it down?

At the Immunity Challenge, there are 4 choppers and 2 puzzle-builders. They cut through wooden beams that release wooden discs. The puzzle-builders use the discs to make a stacked puzzle with a very heavy stone base. The puzzlers then must drag the puzzle across the finish line. Interesting. It might behoove a team to have strong people on the puzzle one. Hmmm. Flying Dragon sits out Denise and Leslie. I would’ve sat down Leslie and Amanda, personally. Denise looks strong. So, the choppers get down to it and it’s Jaime v Courtney. Courtney can barely swing the axe with her tiny little twig arms. Jaime makes quick work of it. PG gets to it. Courtney is really wussing out, Jesus Christ. PG gets hers and Courtney is practically dead. God, she sucks. They should’ve made her a puzzle builder with someone strong. Duh. By herself, she’s fucking useless.

Frosti’s done and Erik’s done. Wow. Their puzzle builders are Sherea and Dave. Courtney finally gets hers and Amanda takes over. Dave and Sherea are struggling with the puzzle and Amanda gets hers. Aaron goes to it and gets his. Also, each time the chopper goes for their last rope, they have to swing the axe like a samurai sword and the camera freezes and makes a Chinese-y sound effect and it is HILARIOUS. James gets his puzzle pieces and now it’s up to JR and Todd, which is smart. Todd is gonna be good at this, I think. Dave and Sherea have 4 pieces, but Todd and JR are gaining. Doesn’t matter, though, Fighting Tiger drags their puzzle and wins. Wow. I hope Courtney goes home, she is seriously worthless as hell.

Back at Flying Dragon, Courtney says she’s got huge blisters and hurt her shoulder. They try to make her feel better about not giving up, but that’s not what I saw. She is weak. JR interviews that common sense says Courtney or Leslie needs to go. Leslie spills to her tribe about how she totally spilled her guts to the other tribe. Aaron interviews that she just doesn’t use her head. He thinks once the merge happens, she is a huge liability. That’s true, but Courtney SUCKS. Get rid of her!!! Leslie, Courtney and Todd say it has to be JR. Todd works with Amanda and says it can be Courtney or JR. They think Courtney won’t win things and will vote with them. They worry they’ll lose challenges, though, if they get rid of JR. Well, yeah. You can’t afford to lose one of your 3 strong guys. Aaron tells Todd and Amanda that they need to get rid of Leslie because she’s a liability. Todd doesn’t know what to do because down the line he can’t beat these big guys but right now they need to win challenges, but honestly? He has to be ecstatic about Leslie possibly leaving because then he’s the only one who knows about the Immunity Idol.

OH MY GOD, PIXELATED TOP OF JR’S PUBIC HAIR!!!! OH MY GOD! MY EYES, MY EYES!!!!

At Tribal, they all get their torches. Jeff starts off talking about challenges. He asks JR if they are concerned with back-to-back losses, especially because of the weak women (Courtney and Leslie) which is totally true. Courtney cries about how they leave her out of stuff because it’s physical challenges, but GOD! It’s the truth, you idiot. JR actually says he’s “keeping it real.” Guh. He sucks too. Leslie says the other tribe isn’t strong physically, but they have heart. Just so we don’t misunderstand that she doesn’t mean the other tribe literally has beating aortas and this tribe does not, she says they have “this” and points to her heart and not just “this” and makes a bicep. OH MY GOD, can we vote out all 3 of them right now?

Courtney throws a lot of bitchfaces around, which is hilarious. How can she not know how badly she sucks? They lost today BECAUSE of her. If she’d been even marginally quick, the puzzle team would’ve been first on their side and they would’ve won. Aaron votes for Leslie, Courtney votes for JR, and Leslie votes for JR. That’s all we’re shown. “Sister Christian” actually gets a vote, which is awesome. By a vote of 5 to 2, Leslie goes home. Interesting. I think Courtney is the one who needed to go, but whatever. Leslie was annoying too. Jeff’s big wisdom is telling them to have fun and to utilize each person’s unique strength. God, he’s so deep. In her exit interview, Leslie says that God must want her to go home. *sigh*

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Comments»

1. badfish - Friday, October 5, 2007

Using Courtney as the first chopper in the Immunity Challenge may be the worst strategy decision I have ever seen on Survivor. I am guessing JR pushed for it, just so he could make her feel like shit about later. What a d-bag.

2. The Fan's Attic - Friday, October 5, 2007

JR reminds me of Richard Hatch. Eminently unlikeable, but probably much smarter than the rest of the tribe and playing out his strategy fairly well. I see him trying to partner up with Todd to get James and Aaron out. Although he’s big, he isn’t nearly as fit as those two who represent a big threat to him.

As for Miss Anorexic, I wonder if Survivor is concerned that she may die out there. On the other hand, I guess they know she can go a long time with very little food.

3. DougOLis - Friday, October 5, 2007

Courtney looks now like most of them look at the end. That can’t be a good sign.

Also, can someone approve my previous comment?


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