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Survivor: Boobs! Everywhere! Friday, September 28, 2007

Posted by ladyandrea in Lady Andrea, reality TV, survivor.

Previously, Chicken was just too funky for these folks and was sent packing. Tonight, we’re back with Fighting Tiger the morning after Tribal.  We don’t seen any grieving for Chicken; instead, we see Smarmy, Condescending Dave addressing the rest of the tribe like they are mentally-challenged 5 year-olds.  He has his ideas about the shelter and they better fall in line.  We get a talking head with a guy I swear they just flew in for this episode; where was he last week?  His name might be Erik. 

Back with Flying Dragon, we see Hunky McMuscles chopping down trees, people making fire, people constructing the shelter.  And clips are intercut of Jean-Robert laying in bed and snoring.  Apparently, he can’t do something for more than about 10 minutes without needing to sleep.  Frankly, after his thinking our resident Flight Attendant was lying about his job last week, I think Jean-Robert can take a flying leap.  He sucks.  Elsewhere, Todd and Amanda powwow and make an alliance.  They also grab Aaron as #3, so that he can “call” the shots and look like the leader.

Aaron calls a group powwow, talking about a routine and people working around camp.  JR says that he needs to take a break because he slept less than everybody else.  Hmmmmm.  Not according to what we’ve seen.  He says he’ll contribute more when he can eat and drink.  Well, duh.  So will everybody,  you big oaf.  He interviews that he’s known as one of the “bad boys” of poker  [snerk] and that he wants to appear lazy now so that when he steps up, it’ll  look like he’s going above and beyond.  I don’t know if that is the best strategy when your entire tribe is working their collective asses off.  Luckily, he is spared another week (spoiler!).

Back with Fighting Tiger, Dave is obsessed with mud bricks, which just look to me like big rocks, but whatever.  He interviews that building a fireplace is a reasonable goal and he wants to keep goals attainable.  He sounds like he’s running some kind of freaky camp.  I am seriously getting the I-have-candy-and-drive-a-windowless-van vibe from ol’ Dave here.  Jaime thinks they should build a small fire just to make a little rice for everybody, because they’ve had flint since tribal last night and haven’t used it yet.  He totally shoots her down and says that should finish the fireplace.

Down by the river, Jaime washes herself off while Sherea hangs out in her skanky bra and panties.  Ashley the Wrestler wanders over and they tell her how they just want to make a small fire and a little food.  She thinks they take the longest route possible to make something happen.  Ashley complains to Dave and he acts the big martyr, saying he’s moved all the rocks himself.  HE THEN points a finger at Ashley and actually says “Let me finish…..let me finish….how many fires have you built, sweetheart?”  Dude.  I would break that finger clean off after the “sweetheart.”  Dave sucks.   Oh, also:  Ashley is wearing a bandanna for a top and her fake boobs are so enormous that it sticks out like 2 feet from her body and just flaps there.  It’s weird.

The reward challenge involves face-offs of 3 people.  2 giant wooden balls are released into a mud pit and you have to push either ball across your opponent’s goal.  The reward is  fishing gear and a boat.  Flying Dragon has to sit out a man because it requires things to be even gender-wise, so they sit out Todd.  Todd seems fine with that because he’s the smallest and nobody is mean about it.  I like that tribe.

The first face-off starts as a huge rain storm kicks up.  It’s Aaron, Amanda, Denise taking on Sherea,  Erik and Jaime.  Initially, I think this looks SO easy but it turns out these wooden balls must be pretty heavy.  The Flying Dragon people are dominating, clothing is getting pulled off everywhere, butt cracks are blurred, boobs are flying, it is ridiculous.  Sherea pulls Amanda’s top clean down, but Amanda wins this one for Flying Dragon.  Jeff’s running commentary, by the way, makes him sound like a dirty old man.  When Amanda finally scores, she pulls her top up and exclaims, “My mom is gonna be so mad at me!”  Hee.

Next one is James, JR and Leslie v Frosti, Ashley and Dave.  Giant Adonis James pretty much cannot be stopped.  I mean, this dude is flinging the other team’s people left and right, leaving JR a free shot.  Then when Ashley clings on to JR, James takes the ball for the win.  Flying Dragon rules the school.   They win the gear and then the twist is, they get to kidnap someone from the other tribe.  They pick Jaime, so she’ll stay with them until the next immunity challenge.  She is given a clue to open in private once she’s there.  Jeff sends everybody packing.

Back at Fighting Tiger, the rain storm has completely washed out everything.  Dead frog.  There is a good six inches of standing water in their camp.  Dave smarms that he’s glad he built the fireplace because it’s still standing.  The thing is?  Yes, it was a good idea.  But he didn’t have to be such an asshole in its implementation.  Flying Dragon arrives home and Aaron interviews that they took Jaime because she’s happy and bubbly, so hopefully it demoralized the other tribe.  Todd tells a small group of them that in the Art of War, it talks about stealing things, so they need to keep an eye on Jaime and her clue and make sure she doesn’t steal anything from them.  Todd’s pretty smart, I gotta say.

Jaime opens her clue and reads that she has a sealed tube that contains a clue to the whereabouts of the hidden immunity idol.  She is to pick one member of Flying Dragon to receive the clue.  Back at camp, Aaron makes a fire and asks JR to get up and help and JR just lays there.  They bitch at each other and Courtney interviews that the rest of them were like, “In front of the spy?  Really?  Are you just gonna give her a map of who doesn’t like who?”  Hee.  And also:  totally.

Jaime interviews that she can’t believe they aren’t winning, after seeing how the other tribe gets along.  Well, I still don’t think Dragon and JR are as bad as Tiger and Dave.  Speaking of Dave, he and Ashley fight some more about the work.  Sherea doesn’t like the way he talks down to all of them.  Dave reminds them of something he told them “like five times” this morning and then says he needs a break and walks off.  Ashley interviews that he’s going to be voted out, because he’s so patronizing.

Back at Flying Dragon, Leslie is crying about her lack of Bible.  Didn’t they get to bring a luxury item?  Hmm.  Also, she says she’d feel better if she could just spend some time with God.  Um, last time I checked?  You could spend time with God whenever or wherever you want to and you don’t have to have your Bible there to do it.  Whatever.  Jaime interviews that she has decided to pick the weakest member to give the clue to because there is no need to give a strong member any help.  Now that is smart, Jaime.

Leslie reads the clue, “What is thought to be hidden, may sometimes be seen.  Though their eyes are not, yours must be keen.”  Well, that tells her a lot.  The cameraman focuses on the symbol near the top of their wooden frame that was there for them to use in building the shelter.  She says she can’t find it, but that it must be right there.  She says she needs to use it to gain someone’s trust.  She tells Todd about it so that they can team up and use it together.  Hmmmm.  He interviews that he cannot believe she told him!  What a doof!  She’s sick, so if she has to leave or gets voted out, he’ll be the only one who knows.  He’s a sharp one, Todd.

At the Immunity Challenge, it is 6 on 6.  Each tribe uses a log to smash through two walls, then manuever the log through a maze and ring a gong.  Very Chinese of them.  Flying Dragon sits out Courtney and Leslie, Fighting Tiger sits out Jaime.  Flying Dragon gets through the first wall quickly and gets a bit of a lead, which they never relinquish.  Dave for Fighting Tiger, can barely move the log.  He is making these ridiculous faces and getting whipped around by the log.  Frosti switches with Dave and Dave stumbles around and won’t pick up the log.  HE SUCKS.

Dragon is working on the maze while Tiger is just getting through the wall.  Dragon hits a dead end in the maze and Tiger surges ahead, however Dragon is being really methodical and is not panicking.  They get the log through and wins immunity again.  Yay!  I love it when the tribe I like keeps winning.

Back at camp, Dave interviews that he let the tribe down.  Well, yes.  You did.  He addresses everybody and apologizes.  PG kisses up to him, which is gross.  He also thanks Frosti for stepping up and taking his place on the log.  Dave interviews that the vote shouldn’t be about one challenge, though.  Well, no.  But it should be about what a dick ou are, too.  Ashley says she needs to keep her wits about her and campaign that Dave is a crazy person.

Erik, Jaime and Sherea powwow that they still need Dave, but he sucked at the challenge today.  They think if they just remove one of them, the conflict will be gone, but they don’t seem to know which one.  Jaime says Ashley is her friend, but Dave is a hard worker.  Hmmmm.  I don’t think this bodes well for Ashley (and I felt that upon first viewing as well).

At Tribal, Frosti says that Dave might try to do too much.  Ashley rolls her eyes, saying that they butt heads a lot.  Dave says that he just wants camp to run smoothly, but Ashley says he talks down to them and not just to her.  She even whips out the word “martyr,” which is spot-on.  He is such a weirdo.  Jaime says Dave is over-the-top and that most of them get along.  Sherea says she hasn’t enjoyed herself at all; she says she knows Ashley, Jaime and Erik sort-of, but she hasn’t gotten to know the other people at all.  She says they need to be more cohesive.  Jeff asks Ashley what is the criteria for her vote and she goes, “Uh, I’m voting for Dave.”  Heee!

They vote.  We only see Dave vote for Ashley and Ashley vote for Dave, calling him Derek Zoolander.  Hmmm.  That would’ve been funny, maybe, a few years ago, Ashley.  Jeff reads the votes and Ashley is gone 4-2.  That’s a bummer.  The only other person who voted for Dave was Jaime.  Catch ya next week, kiddos.



1. The Fan's Attic - Friday, September 28, 2007

Just curious, but why is Survivor now having people on the show that are maybe not well known, but at least known somewhat. Jean-Robert is all over the poker shows and Ashley has been on TV with the WWE. This seems to take away the “everyman” nature of the show. A bit disappointing in my mind.

2. goathair - Monday, October 1, 2007

Ashley’s been in Playboy. Pretty easy to find Google-style.

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