Real World Recap – Boys Will Be Boys Friday, September 14, 2007Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
Oh, kids, where will this all lead? The episode opens with Dunbar, Cohutta and KellyAnne out drinking at a bar. Clever watchers/readers will know that this is quite the trio, as Dunbar believes that KellyAnne is in love with him when in reality she has a crush on Cohutta even though she claims that she doesn’t. Cohutta, after giving a passable impersonation of “Blue Steel” (look it up, bitches), flirts with KellyAnne, telling her “I’ll teach you life lessons.” Follow me after the jump for more southern charm.
The next day (or is it? whatever.), KellyAnne receives flowers from Carey, and Aussie boy that she had met at a bar, and with whom she is supposed to go on a date that evening. This sends Dunbar into a fit of jealous stammering, in which, in quick succession, he spouts off the following pearls of wisdom: “Someone has money and wants to get laid”, “It means more when I send a girl flowers”, and “I met that guy for 10 minutes and I know everything I need to know about him”. When the girls get on his case for being a douchebag (surprise!), he tries to explain himself by saying that since Carey has money, it isn’t really a big deal to buy some simple flower arrangement, whereas when he buys flowers for a girl it is a serious gesture (because it’s a serious financial investment? ouch). When the girls don’t buy his bullshit, Dunbar walks out of the room and slams the door. Later in the day, Dunbar tries to explain himself again to KellyAnne and Parissa, but they seem to know that he is full of shite. Even later in the day, KellyAnne twists the knife by talking to Dunbar about how great Cohutta is (that’s a big “Fuck You” – I have a date with one guy, and I think another guy is great, so you’re not even in the picture, buddy!).
At some point, all of the roommates wind up in the kitchen and living room, having a big discussion about sex (who would have expected that from 7 20-somethings away from their significant others?). At one point, Tricia begins talking about the Bible and tells everyone that she really regrets having sex before being married. Dunbar starts talking (out of his ass!) about some Bible reading that he did for a college course, and naturally he annoys the shit out of Parissa, who decides to be a little argumentative just for fun. Dunbar once again leaves the room all pissed off (no door slamming this time, though, as there are no doors to slam). Isaac then decides that Dunbar has too much pent-up aggression due to the fact that “he needs to masturbate” (thanks for that visual), so he leaves a porn magazine in the bathroom stall for Dunbar to peruse (I really hope that he doesn’t want it back). At the same time, we see Dunbar on the phone with his girlfriend, complaining about his female roommates.
Still later in the day, we see Dunbar talking to KellyAnne about his childhood, and this is really the first glimpse we get of Dunbar as an individual. He describes how he was granted emancipation by the court at the age of 15 due to the fact that he was physically abused by his father and his mother did not protect him. He also mentions that he had to attend anger management classes (really? who would have seen that coming?) in order to be allowed to complete his senior year of high school, although he does not mention any particular incident which led to that.
After this conversation, KellyAnne gets a call from Carey relaying the details of the date, and telling her that he will pick her up in 20 minutes (talk about some short notice). KellyAnne is a little nervous, and she confides in the roommates that it has been over a year since her last real date (presumably, she has just been cock-teasing, rather than dating, for the past year). As they discuss dating, Dunbar calls Parissa “a high-maintenance New York bitch” (it took me a second to realize that he wasn’t talking about me), which, in a stunning turn of events, upsets her. Dunbar tries to make peace by saying “it was a joke, it’s not disrespectful.” After arguing for a little bit, Dunbar goes over to apologize, and Parissa decides to let things slide, noting that she can’t figure out when Dunbar is joking or not.
Carey shows up to take KellyAnne on their date, and as he meets the roommates Cohutta asks “Do I need to give him a talking-to?” (someone’s jealous, I see). While on their dinner date, KellyAnne manages to talk to Carey about how great Cohutta is (he and Dunbar can commiserate now!). At the same time, Cohutta is somewhere else talking to Isaac about KellyAnne, to which Isaac replies that the situation “loooks dangerous” (really? Is KellyAnne laying down IEDs?). Back on her date, KellyAnne looks extremely bored, and when Carey asks if it would “be incredibly inappropriate to kiss you”, KellyAnne responds “Yes, it would be incredibly inappropriate to kiss me” (oh, boy, someone just got the Oklahoma treatment) since she doesn’t kiss on the first date (if you just met, and it’s not an actual date? sure!).
Back at the house, KellyAnne talks to Parissa about the date, and how she was thinking of Cohutta the whole time. The girls, for some ungodly reason, then decide to cut out pictures of all the female roommates and paste them into Dunbar’s porn magazine (so, you admit that you want him jacking off to your face, then?). When the boys get back home, Cohutta asks KellyAnne about the date, and she tells him that she doesn’t want to talk about it. The night ends with the following sequence: (1) KellyAnne and Cohutta share a sandwich; (2) Cohutta snaps KellyAnne in the ass with a towel, prompting her to pull down her shorts and show him the red mark on her ass; and (3) KellyAnne and Cohutta crawl into bed together and cuddle (no sex, though, as far as we can tell).
Cohutta: Gentleman, or ultimate player?
NOTE: Anyone else having trouble telling Tricia and Shauvon apart? They’re like the Olly twins on Sunset Tan (not that I watch that show or anything).