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Real World Recap – Seriously, Dunbar is a huge douchebag. Friday, August 31, 2007

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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Hello kids. You may have noticed a theme in my recaps of this season so far. Yes, I think that Dunbar is a HUGE douchebag. In fact, I feel that he has potential to be one of the all-star turds that the Real World has ever produced. He has all right moves for his selection: (1) he’s cocky; (2) he appears willing to cheat on his girlfriend; and (3) he’s in love with himself and thinks everyone else is in love with him too. Join me after the jump for his latest transgressions against humanity.

This episode opens with KellyAnne and Dunbar both taking a shower (separately), and then flirting in the bathroom while going through their post-shower routines. A little later we see KellyAnne rubbing some lotion on Dunbar’s back, which naturally makes Parissa jealous. She responds by calling Dunbar a “teen-age boy with a hard-on” (which is repetitively redundant). Dunbar then sits down next to Parissa, and begins talking about all of the hot girls that he sees while at school at Ole Miss. Parissa, offended that Dunbar hasn’t spoken to her about the letter that she wrote to him, is then immensely offended when, while talking about attractive girls, Dunbar tells her that she is “interesting” (i.e. ugly). Parissa responds by saying “you can take that back to KellyAnne” (huh?). Parissa then goes to talk to Shauvon about Dunbar’s rudeness, and she tells her that “walking in New York, heads turn” (well, maybe they look at you because you’re hideously deformed).

A little later in the day (presumably), we see Cohutta talking to Isaac about the fact that he hasn’t seen any attractive girls in Australia, and that no one in the house is his type. Naturally, Parissa is right there as he says this, so her low self-esteem forces her to say “how come I’m no one’s type”, prompting Cohutta to tell her not to feel bad about herself. Of course, since he says this with his southern accent, Parissa accepts this answer. Cohutta then goes on to stereotype himself by proclaiming that he just needs to find a wife and go home and make babies (well, it worked for Travis Henry, right?).

We also see Dunbar talking to Tricia about how Parissa and KellyAnne both want to be with him, and Tricia manages to avoid rolling her eyes too often. Dunbar then goes into the confessional with Isaac (kinky!) where he goes off on Parissa, saying “I’m just not into you. It’s never gonna happen” (luckily, she won’t see the message, as it would cause a meltdown). At the same time, Tricia goes to KellyAnne to tell her what Dunbar said, and KellyAnne says that she has “gone too far” with her flirting and will now “back away” from Dunbar (blatant falsehood alert!).

Parissa, meanwhile, is in the house studio, playing with the keyboard and trying out some lyrics that she had written. KellyAnne comes in, and they decide to take a walk and talk about the situation. While walking, KellyAnne repeats what she told Tricia about being more careful with her flirting (even going so far as to call herself a “dick-tease”), and they both determine that they are not interested in Dunbar.

That night, KellyAnne confronts Dunbar about his “talking shit”, to which Dunbar replies “Don’t turn into Parissa”  (meow!). Dunbar then goes back inside to talk to Isaac about this conversation, and he says that he hopes that he “got that monkey off”. At the same time, KellyAnne and Parissa are talking to Cohutta, and naturally KellyAnne begins flirting with him to let Dunbar know that she is not interested in him (brilliant!).

Later, we again see Parissa in the studio, working with Cohutta and Isaac on some music and lyrics. In the next room, Dunbar is talking to KellyAnne about Parissa, and he says that her “sound” is not original. When Parissa comes into the kitchen singing her lyrics, Dunbar tells her that “women have no business singing the blues”, which causes them to get into an argument. This is the point where Dunbar really ratchets up his all-star douchebag campaign, belittling Parissa and yelling at her for walking away from him before he was finished belittling her. He gets pissed off even more when he sees KellyAnne still flirting with Cohutta.

Later that night we see everyone getting ready to go out on the town, and at the bar Cohutta meets some Australian girls. When leaving the bar, however, Cohutta is walking alone and KellyAnne runs after him (seriously, Tim Montgomery-style sprint) to link her arm in his (HE’S MINE, BITCHES!). We see a cut-away of KellyAnne admitting “I have a mini-crush on Cohutta” (really? we hadn’t noticed), and Dunbar responding that “it wouldn’t be as special as what we had (CREEPY!). Back at home, Cohutta and KellyAnne go into the confessional (Dunbar: “Anyone else notice that they’ve been in there for 20 minutes?”), where she eventually gives him a lap-dance. Cohutta eventually goes to bed, and KellyAnne jumps in after him, so they start making out. Naturally, Dunbar walks into the room and tells Cohutta that “she’s a hard-core dick-tease”, to which KellyAnne responds “Shut the fuck up”.

I really want to punch Dunbar in the coin-purse.

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Comments»

1. The Fan's Attic - Friday, August 31, 2007

I really can’t wait to see how this all blows up. And, then, I want to see how the little convict, Isaac, eventually fucks something up and turns into a mountain of rage. It will be great.

2. Jerkwheat - Friday, August 31, 2007

I am skipping your review, as I have not yet watched this week’s episode – but my God, there has been glorious drama thus far this season

3. heyzeus - Friday, August 31, 2007

I really would like to see Cohutta beat the living shit out of Dunbar. That would be satisfying. Also satisfying? Learning how to say “Cohutta.”

4. DougOLis - Monday, September 3, 2007

I was okay with Dunbar until this week. Now I want Cohutta to pull a Deliverance on him.


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