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New Movie Releases – Weekend of 8/10/07 Friday, August 10, 2007

Posted by Tuffy in movies, new movie releases, tuffy.

Stardust memories…


Matthew Vaughn (dir), Neil Gaiman (screenplay), Charlie Cox, Sienna Miller, Ian McKellen, Peter O’Toole, Michelle Pfeiffer, Robert De Niro, and on and on and on…

Pitch: Neil, you keep polishing the script while I swing a copy of The Princess Bride’s VHS sales numbers hypnotically in front of their faces…

Synopsis: Mr. Cox chases a magical MacGuffin through fantastic lands to prove his love to a frosty lass, learning many lessons about himself while experiencing grand adventures. No doubt, someone’s buckle will be swashed and someone’s relief will be comedied. (Needless to say, expensive fantasy quest movies didn’t get made often before Lord of the Rings because they’re too hard to explain in 30-second spots.)

Target Market: Neil Gaiman fans; fantasy fans; people that still get a bit verklempt when they quote, “As you wish.”

Why You Should See This Movie: Eventually, one of Gaiman’s properties will be given the A-level treatment by Hollywood. Early reviews suggest this may be the one.

Rush Hour 3

Starring: Brett Ratner (dir.), Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker

Pitch: Road to European Vacation in 48 Hrs., starring Guaranteed International Success.

Synopsis: Squeaky Murphy and Pretty Much Wasted collect paychecks on a different location and in new soundstages. Dogs howl in discontent at both Tucker’s voice and the screenplay. (Apparently, only dogs and critics can hear a weak first act followed by a miserable Act Two and Act Three.)

Target Market: Jackie Chan completists; Chris Tucker defeatists; Brett Ratner repeatists.

Why You Should See This Movie: You’re on the flight to Brisbane and it’s this or Alive for the next 10 hours. You might want to consider alcohol poisoning.

Also showing:

An uneven but pleasant dorkfest about high school debate; an intriguing love story from Julie Delpy, who continues the admirable trend of French women aging deliciously well; Cuba Gooding Jr.’s latest turd blossom special, directed by none other than Fred Savage. Mr. Gooding, Jr. regrets to this day that he invested in his line of Cuba’s Scalp Massage Salons throughout the Southeast.



1. DougOLis - Friday, August 10, 2007

Stardust looks pretty sweet. Matthew Vaughn has yet to fail me. Having Peter O’Toole and Ian McKellen is just incredible. On top of that, Ricky Gervais has a minor role.

2. MitchKayak - Friday, August 10, 2007

So uh, Cuba owes the mob money, right?

3. DougOLis - Friday, August 10, 2007

Stardust has Sarah Alexander from the good Coupling! How is it that Michelle Pfeiffer keeps getting hotter and hotter with age?

Rush Hour 3 frankly looks like ass. Which is disappointing because Jackie Chan used to be good, Chris Tucker used to be funny, and Brett Ratner has had some decent success. He’s never really been brilliant but he’s usually solid.

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