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A Very Special Covnobyl Thursday, March 15, 2007

Posted by LenBiasCocaineSurplus in Covnobyl, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Loathing Scooter.

Every great song lives on and on throughout time. We remember that band for their epic song that will last throughout the annals of time, which is until 2036 when that asteroid extincts the human race. Every once and while another band will come and will feel the need to put their touch on the song. Sure sometimes it works and the song is made even better, but most of the time what happens is something I call “Covnobyl”.

Also sometimes there are songs that should be remade and this edition looks at 2 very special songs that should have been left in their past because they are so special that their specialness was ruined by the covers

Beaches. A movie that should have been left in a landfill in New Mexico so we never have to think of it again. The same should be done with this song. And well the same thing could be said for Bette Midler.

The song is a tear jerker from a tear jerkering movie that is designed for old women and gay men.

Then the Finnish came and decided this song needed something more. Something heavier. Something METAL. Sonata Arctica decided we need a head banging metal version of Wind Beneath My Wings.

Sadly on Youtube I can only find it to a wrestling montage

This is a song so originally metalless that not even Dethlok could save it. But here are the Finnish. I remember when I saw Beaches as a small child and felt there was something missing from that song. Now I know what it is. A bitching guitar solo and some Finnish edge.

Don’t worry if you don’t feel that I’m giving you enough Sonata Arctica. There is a video game coming out starring the band.

Next up is that one moment of KISS-dom everyone tries to force out of their memory. Or if you are like me and you are trying to pretend KISS only existed in the parameters of the movie Detroit Rock City.

Who updates this KISS song? What band would be annoying enough to make this song more terrible?

The answer is my arch-nemesis. Scooter

Scooter seems to have their bad covers down to an art. Non-sensical music video + terrible techno= golden cover

Only in this case the vampire Martha Washingtons have been replaced with burning black diamonds and spirals for the bandmates to stand on, people in white jump suits and teleportation. Another key fact is the all the amps and the guitar the lead singer holds that are almost not used.

Someone needs to tell me how these guys make money. I can’t understand it at all. In a drunken rage I downloaded their discography (how much of my music gets downloaded) and listened to much of what they had to offer. To see if it wasn’t just their inability to cover songs.

It isn’t. They just suck. They are horrendous and horrible and other words I could into a thesaurus and find.

Who wants to get me a plane ticket to Germany?



1. Baba Oje - Thursday, March 15, 2007

All music on youtube should be played over clips of independent wrestling stars

2. Bobo - Thursday, March 15, 2007

If Scooter have any idea how ridiculous they look, then they may actually be brilliant. Like, Noam Chomsky brilliant.
If not, then someone needs to gently take them aside, and gently tell them about the rabbits, and gently shoot them.

3. KyleKey - Friday, March 16, 2007

Man, you rock the house.

Thanks for giving the video attention, you made it and by proxy myself famous.


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