NCAA with a Deadon Twist: South + Final Four Prediction Wednesday, March 14, 2007Posted by LenBiasCocaineSurplus in 3:16, beating the dead horse, black people, hentai tentacle porn, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus.
Tags: Storming Mormons
While most “experts” would have you believe that the fate of the NCAA tourney depends on the skills of the players on the court and the coaches on the sideline and how much money the dean’s pay off the refs to give them the calls I have a different theory.
The NCAA March Madness tourney can be predicted properly simply using the mascot names and the famous alumni and several other factors that will be fed into a computer giving me the proper picks.
Follow me for today’s team previews of the South region
If you missed the other previews.
1. THE Ohio State Buckeyes
Famous Alumni- R.L. Stine, Jim Jinkins, Richard Lewis, Bruce Vilanch, Grey Goose
Mascot- A tree? I hope they play a team called the Lumberjacks. 0/10
Tidbit- The oldest organization they have is the Glee Club
2. Memphis Tigers
Famous Alumni- Dixie Carter, Micheal Jeter, Winky Martindale, Fred Thompson
Mascot- 9/10. I learned my lesson from Sigfried and Roy. Those beasts can maul and will maul.
Tidbit- The school colors were picked just after the Civil War and were meant to avoid conflict
3. Texas A&M Aggies
Famous Alumni- Lyle Lovett, Robert Earl Keen, Roger Creager, Christian Band Shane and Shane
Mascot- I have learned that the definition of the Aggie means that their nickname just means the students. So the students are the mascot. My ruling goes the same for them as it did for the Fighting Irish. Depends on how drunk they are.
Tidbit- They have a monthly ceremony called Silver Taps to honor people lost Aggies. Ironically they also have a bonfire which has a tendency to lose those Aggies. Too soon?
3. Virginia Cavaliers
Famous Alumni- Katie Couric, Dave Matthews, Tina Fey, Amanda Paige,
Mascot- Got to love a man with a funny hat, a funny mustache and a sword. 9/10
Tidbit- They have an “honor system” that allows professors to do things like assign timed take-home exams. I also just sent my application in based on that fact.
5. Tennessee Volunteers
Famous Alumni- Deana Carter, NWO Member Kevin Nash, Woody Paige and quarterbacks with laser, rocket arms
Mascot- Seriously a Volunteer? The only reason this isn’t getting a negative infinity because I actually know what that is.
Tidbit- Their Greek societies keep getting into trouble. The best was one had their charter removed when all their members painted their faces black to mock black people
6. Louisville Cardinals
Famous Alumni- …Sue Grafton?
Mascot- While quite adorable the cardinal is not an intimidating bird. 2/10
Tidbit- The only school in Kentucky offering a degree in women studies.
7. Nevada Wolfpack
Famous Alumni- Nevada-Tan
Mascot- Now one wolf would be hard. A unorganized group of wolves would be harder. A wolfpack? That’s trouble. 10/10
Tidbit- In 2004 an 11-year-old child in Japan murdered one of her classmates and became known in the media as Nevada-tan, because of a widely distributed photo of her wearing a University of Nevada sweatshirt.
8. Brigham Young University Storming Mormons
Famous Alumni- Jon Heder, Ken Jennings, Julie Stoffer,
Mascot- No one is scared of Mormons or the state of Utah. 0/10
Tidbit- Campus wide ban on alcohol and tobacco. All work no play makes Jack a dull boy.
I posted that video on the BYU March Madness Facebook group and got the following response.
“don’t sweat it. its really all that can be expected from someone who goes to a backwoods, inbred school focused on making kids with learning disabilities feel like they can be college kids too. MCLA is a joke. and brian, you’re a joke. i would a tell you to get a life but i’m sure it’s hard to find time in your schedule between remedial basket weaving and ADHD 101.
a student of a private university”
Jokes got banned in the same bill as polygamy
9. Xavier Mousketeers
Famous Alumni- The VP of Disney
Mascot- What goes around, goes around, goes around. Comes all the way back around
Tidbit – They have a grade called VF. “Vanishing failure”
10. Creighton Bluejays
Famous Alumni- The lead singer of The Faint!
Mascot- I don’t recall anyone ever being killed by a bluejay. 3/10
Tidbit- In the last ten MLS drafts at least 1 player has been selected from Creighton
11. Stanford Cardinal
Famous Alumni- Jennifer Connelly, Fred Savage, Ben Savage, Adam West, Tiger Woods, John Elway, Sigourney Weave, Reese Witherspoon, the cross dressing president
Mascot- Naming your team after a color is one thing but having every mascot look like it was a part of a special ed kindergarten project is too much for me to handle. -1 quadrillion/10
Tidbit- Home of the proof that when horses run they sometimes have all four feet off the ground.
12. Long Beach St 49ers
Famous Alumni- Agnes de Mille, Joe Johnston, Steve Martin, Steven Spielburg, Bobby Hatfield
Mascot- While a 49er does have a pick and can fight they do have the directors of Jumanji, Jaws, Jurassic Park I-III and many more. They should be able to come up with something better. 6/10
Tidbit- Every year they hold a free pow-wow
13. Albany Great Danes
Famous Alumni- the creator of the Post-It note. Thank you Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion
Mascot- Normally I would take points off just for a dog. But a GREAT Dane? That changes EVERYTHING. 9/10
Tidbit- Held the Princeton Review title for “#1 Party School” from 1998-2004
14. University of Pennsylvania Veterinary Medicine Quakers
Famous Alumni- William Henry Harrison (the best president ever), Donald Trump, William Carlos Williamson
Mascot- My heart goes out to all of you. For your care and love for Barbaro. You are Angels On Earth. Barbaro is an Angel In Heaven. A very beautiful rainbow.My Love, Dee Mirich
Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.
posted on 2007-01-30 11:42:19
Tidbit- A student got charged with racial harassment for yelling at black girls “Shut up, you water buffalo”. Also Saad Saadi showed up the president’s Halloween party dressed as a suicide bomber.
15. North Texas Mean Green
Famous Alumni- Stone Cold Steve Austin, Both Von Erichs, Mean Joe Green, Meatloaf, Pat Boone, Bobby Fuller, Don Henley, Roy Orbison, The crazy old white guy from Walker Texas Ranger
Mascot- Their mascot is the Eagle although I believe according to their school name it should either be the Incredible Hulk or Stone Cold painted green. 6/10
Tidbit- Home of many firsts; such as the first college football team to go to a bowl game with a losing record.
16. The Good Blue Devils
Famous Alumni- Dave Campo
Mascot- All my depictions of the devil are red, but I’m still not messing with a devil no matter what color it is. 9/10
Tidbit- They have just 1 Greek society.
Predcitions: First Round: OSU, Stormin Mormons, Long Beach, Virginia, Louisville, Barbaro, NWO Wolfpack/Nevada Tan, MEAN GREEN
Second Round: Stormin Mormons, Long Beach, Barbaro, MEAN GREEN
Stormin Mormons, MEAN GREEN
The final four pits UNLV, VCU, MSU and BYU
I have VCU squeaking past UNLV but losing half their players in a hail of gun fire resulting from Suge Knights rage.
And BYU conjures up Mormon Jesus who cannot be boomshot’d to upset Bruce Cambell.
In the final BYU takes advantage of the lack of VCU players and wins it all.