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Covnobyl Thursday, March 1, 2007

Posted by LenBiasCocaineSurplus in comedic tag, Covnobyl, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus, Loathing Scooter, shitty music.

Every great song lives on and on throughout time. We remember that band for their epic song that will last throughout the annals of time, which is until 2036 when that asteroid extincts the human race. Every once and while another band will come and will feel the need to put their touch on the song. Sure sometimes it works and the song is made even better, but most of the time what happens is something I call “Covnobyl”.

This edition: an update to the Billy Idol hit Rebel Yell

Billy Idol is someone to be admired (no I won’t say idolize, I refuse). The spiked blond hair, one black leather glove and a leather vest was a look that few pasty white men could pull off, but there Idol was pulling it off and looking spectacular. He also rocked in the Wedding Singer with his great cameo.

In 1996 the techno band Scooter decided that Rebel Yell needed to be updated. If you know them at all you know them for their song Ramp! The Logical Song, if you don’t know Scooter then you are most likely rushing to Wikipedia at the moment.

Unfortunately if you only type “Scooter” into their search engine it comes after 19 other articles. Including the articles for sea scooter, Phil Rizzuto, The FOX animated baseball named Scooter, the Muppet named Scooter and even…

It might be because I’m not an avid fan of techno, or rave or “happy hardcore” (which sounds more like a type of pornography than music to me) but I hate this song and all that it stands for.

The video start is lead singer H.P. Baxter standing in front what appears to be the castle from the opening of an Aqua Teen Hunger Force episode and the largest moon in the history on mankind.

Now the band gets into a horse chariot in their stylish, hip German outfits that Billy Idol wouldn’t be caught dead in. Once they get to the castle the appear to be greeted by the extras from the Rock Me Amadeus music video.

The band appears to be as shocked as I was to see flying women in wigs. As the lead singer leans back to belt out that poor covered Billy Idol song you get to see the dog collar he is wearing.

At this point the Falco background dancers have had enough of this German disturbance and escort them outside, but Scooter still has the Rebel Yell on its side.

Don’t worry about those Scooter boys, they find a stage to perform on to seduce the fat women in wigs. They rush the stage and reveal their vampire teeth. Which leads me to believe that this is a music video about Scooter rebelling against the trendy vampiring going on in Transylvania. Remember kids, if some one tells you to become a vampire you don’t have to.

At this point the lead singer seduces one of the vampire-zombie Martha Washington people. The band attempts to flee and gets turned into vampires too?

Fuck this. I need some ecstasy to understand techno. Just view for yourself. I’ll be figuring out how far I can fit an ice pick into my temple.

If I have learned anything from this is just to leave everything up to Metal Skool



1. goathair - Thursday, March 1, 2007

Billy Idol is responsible for one of my all-time favorite concert moments. At Lollapalooza 2005 as Billy Idol was taking the stage he kept repeating over the PA, “Billy Idol is coming. Billy Idol is coming.” It was hilarious. Then he threw signed paper plates in to the crowd.

2. spankyjoe - Thursday, March 1, 2007

I think the subtle, hidden gem is the dancing moves that keyboardist on the left busts in the background. Clearly, if that’s the best that keyboardist can do, he needs to spend some more time researching the fine dancing steps of Little Richard/Jerry Lee Lewis/Doctor Fink.


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