Real World/Road Rules: The Island - Johnny Gets Played Friday, October 10, 2008
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This episode opens with the castmates amusing themselves with their “Dirty Scalawag Theater”, in which they perform poor imitations of one another while getting drunk (it’s unclear how this is different from the “life”). Johnny finds a bucket full of water and some bamboo shoots that have maggots all over them, so he decides to chase people around with them. At one point, one of the sticks lands on Ev, which obviously pisses her off. She grabs a large (and heavy-looking) telescope and confronts Johnny. Unfortunately, the argument does not turn to violence. Join me after the jump to find out how well Ev and Johnny play together (hint: not well).
Real World/Road Rules: The Island - TJ Lavin is Developing an Attitude Problem Thursday, October 2, 2008
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This episode opens the same way as every other episode this season - with the roommates sitting around bitching about the lack of food or good accomodations. While Paula talks to KellyAnne about getting keys, Ev comes over and they tell her that they both want to go into the next Face-Off. Ev bitches about Paula using her place in the Johnny/Kenny alliance, and then goes to talk to Robin about going in to the Face-Off to take out “the alliance girls.” She also complains about Johnny being the island mastermind, and he overhears her. Join me after the jump to see why TJ Lavin is a cranky old man.
Real World/Road Rules: The Island - Let’s Sleep Our Way to the Top! Saturday, September 27, 2008
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This episode opens in the morning with Johnny talking with Kenny, Paula, and Johanna about their alliance facing off against Rachel and her friends. After their discussion, Johnny goes into the kitchen to start cooking, which eventually leads to yet another argument with KellyAnne. After he calls an anorexic bitch, she tells him that the only reason he is still on The Island is because Abram quit. While Ev consoles her (watch those hands!), we see Robin and Derrick discussing a book on “Survival at Sea” and we learn that Robin is quite the capable sailor. We also see Rachel and Jenn talking about sending off the “newbie girls” first. Join me after the jump to see which alliance is successful.
Real World/Road Rules: The Island - Quitters Never Win Sunday, September 21, 2008
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This episode opens in the morning with Kenny and Johanna in bed (ewww), while Kenny complains about the food. Then we get a montage of the most of the girls complaining about the food, the toilet, the shower and various other things. The best moment comes with a close-up of Dave discussing how tough he is (foreshadowing is a bitch). Join me after the jump to see which of these nancy-boys took their balls and went home.
Real World/Road Rules: The Island - This Show is Gonna Blow Monday, September 15, 2008
Posted by undergroundbto in MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.4 comments
Well, now that you know from the title how I feel about this latest incarnation, let’s discuss it, shall we? First of all, this recap is several days late because: (1) MTV gave me no fucking clue when it was on (no, I didn’t visit their website, smartass!); and (2) the first time my DVR recorded it (after I found it), it turned out to be an episode of “Made” (oh, the tomboy totally becomes the prom queen, by the way). When I finally got the damn thing taped, I start watching it only to realize that this season will be a poorly-developed rip-off of Survivor. Oh joy. Join me after the jump to find out which fame-whores are on the cast this time around.
Real World Recap - The End of An Era. Friday, July 11, 2008
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Our final episode opens in the morning with Charna and Andy Dick coming over to the house to cook dinner for the roommates, who are all sad about the fact that their Real World experience is coming to an end. While Nick and Kimberly walk around for a bit, discussing their career aspirations, Will tells people that he is concerned that they have not heard from Joey lately. Cut to Joey in Chicago, hanging out with his new girlfriend Melaine (NOT a typo!) and his BFF John, watching tapes of backyard wrestling. Scintillating stuff. Join me after the jump for the rest of the melancholy meanderings.
Real World Recap - Someone’s Catchin’ the Herp. Thursday, July 3, 2008
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This episode opens with the roommates at the Improv. Charna tells them that they will not be having class during the next week because they are going on a trip to Cancun, Mexico. That night, after spending some time talking about the trip, they go out to a club and get drunk. Back at home, Dave is passed out in the bathroom, so Will does a little “antiquing” (throws a clump of flour at him), and convinces Brittini to do the same. Dave eventually wakes up, but he isn’t pissed off. Meanwhile, Brittini talks to Will about wanting to be friends with him, and she is glad that he will be away from Janelle on their trip to Mexico. Join me after the jump to find out why she’s so glad.
DanceOn, Top 16… and Top 14 Thursday, July 3, 2008
Posted by michaelmancini in Posts that should have more humor, Things That May Suspend Your Man License, reality TV.1 comment so far
In the past two weeks, two couples have easily separated themselves from the pack of Season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance. How did they get there, and what subtle-ish ploys have the producers unfurled to help them there? ReadOn to find out… (more…)
Real World Recap - These People Have Feelings! Saturday, June 28, 2008
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Yes, I know these recaps would be more effective if they weren’t presented 2.5 days after the episode airs, but I have a real life here, people! Anyway, this episode opens with Brianna getting a phone call from Alex Band (you know, the guy she sang back-up for at the benefit concert? the former lead singer of The Calling? Keep up, people!) where he thanks her, and asks if she wants to come into the studio to record her vocals. Brianna heads to the studio and begins recording, but she has a really difficult time and decides that it isn’t her “kind of music” so she stops. Join me after the jump to find out if this lazy girl will ever work at her dream.
The Farmer Picks A Bride Friday, June 27, 2008
Posted by JB* in I know the suspense is killing you, JB*, The CW Will Put Anything On, The Farmer Wants a Wife, reality TV.Tags: Farmer Wants A Wife
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After seven weeks of breaking city girl hearts and making Mrs.JB* wish she could drink, tonight, Our Farmer Matt will be choosing his blushing bride-to-be. And given this is the show which gave us the tasteful elimination of “stick your hand in the cow’s uterus” and the tactful “I’m going to put your name in lights… to kick you out“, I can only imagine the proposal will be one which every viewer of the CW will take note of for their own future question-popping.
So, drop to one knee, get a tissue, and join me after the jump (a day late thanks to power outages; thanks Alliant Energy!) for the biggest question one she should only have to say yes to once in her life…
Real World Recap - Will is 12 Years Old. Saturday, June 21, 2008
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This episode opens up at night with Kimberly and Brianna talking about getting two new roommates (to replace Greg and Joey). In anticipation, and unsure of who the new roommates might be, Will moves in with Dave. We then get a nice little scene of Will and Janelle out on a date, eating at a Chinese restaurant. Join me after the jump to see just silly Will can be.
DanceOn - The Top 18 Perform Thursday, June 19, 2008
Posted by michaelmancini in Posts that should have more humor, Things That May Suspend Your Man License, reality TV.1 comment so far
After a spectacular opening week, the Finalists returned with a resounding thud. With only a few performances that rose to the level of Good amongst several that were somewhere between uninspired and bleargh, does season 4 actually hold the promise we all thought it did? Let’s see after the jump. (more…)
Showdown at Heartbreak Corral Thursday, June 19, 2008
Posted by JB* in I know the suspense is killing you, JB*, The CW Will Put Anything On, The Farmer Wants a Wife, reality TV.Tags: Farmer Wants A Wife
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It is a Final Four of a whole different kind - no pools, no wagers, no hoopla in a semi-major city which just happens to have a large arena. No, the Final Four of the Farmer Wants a Wife is here, and after replaying the stupidest elimination ever - checking if a cow is pregnant - I ponder the number of ways the show should have changed DF Dub’s “Fell In Love With a Country Girl” from the Big Brown Couch. Join me… after the jump. (more…)
DanceOn- Top 20 Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Posted by michaelmancini in Posts that should have more humor, Things That May Suspend Your Man License, holy shit thats a lot of YouTube, reality TV.add a comment
It’s amazing how little time one has to blog when one doesn’t have Internet access at work and when the power goes out at home during the weekend. Luckily, there’s still time for my take on the Top 20 before they’re reduced to the Top 16. (more…)
Real World Recap - Good Night, Sweet Prince. Thursday, June 12, 2008
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This episode opens with Joey on the treadmill and doing a heavy workout. He gets a phone call from his friend Mike, and tells him about being in rehab. Mike’s response is “Are we gonna have fun when I come out there?” After he gets off the phone, Joey tells Sarah that Mike is the one who got him involved in drugs, and that he is nervous about him coming out. Join me after the jump for the details of Joey’s adventures.
Real World Recap - Karma Fucks Greg Thursday, June 12, 2008
Posted by undergroundbto in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.2 comments
This show needs a shrink… Thursday, June 12, 2008
Posted by JB* in JB*, The CW Will Put Anything On, The Farmer Wants a Wife, guilty pleasures, reality TV, unhealthy obsessions.Tags: Farmer Wants A Wife
9 comments
In honor of the Final Five, a haiku in the renga style -
Farmer Wants A Wife
Lisa got bounced, name in lights
Ashley’s date went flat
Amanda is still my pick
They’ll light a bonfire this week
After the booting of Lisa and the Awwwwk-waaard Date between Matt and Ashley, I am on the Big Brown Couch hoping to stay above water and you can join me… after the jump. (more…)
DanceOn Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Posted by michaelmancini in reality TV.2 comments
Finally, my audition round-up for Season 4 of So You Think You Can Dance. Stupid real life interfering with recapping. So, here’s a rundown on the Top 20 before they dance tonight on Fox. (more…)
Flake Off Thursday, June 5, 2008
Posted by JB* in I know the suspense is killing you, JB*, The CW Will Put Anything On, The Farmer Wants a Wife, Things I Wrote At My Real Job, guilty pleasures, reality TV.Tags: Farmer Wants A Wife
4 comments
Now this is a story all about how
one farmer’s world got flipped upside down
Ten women from the city came into his life
And one may get lucky, ’cause this Farmer Wants A Wife
Portage-Des-Sioux, Missouri is where the show’s set
Last week they had a hoe-down, the most painful thing yet
After pickin ears of corn out in some guy’s field
Brooke was sittin’ pretty thanks to her yield
When a couple of Bible Gals seemed up to no good
Started doin’ stripper moves on the dancin’ wood
Stacey’s cups flowed over but her Mason Jar was dry
and now you’re caught up on Farmer Wants a Wife
With that out of my system, join me after the jump for this week’s installment of tears, beers, and a very special episode of Farmer Wants A Wife where Matt says “Out here in the country, everyone helps everyone” for the one hundredth time. Balloons optional.
Real World Recap - Rage, Rage Against The Roommates Saturday, May 31, 2008
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This episode opens with Greg in the kitchen, cooking for some of his friends. Will walks through the kitchen, and after he leaves Greg and his friends talk shit about him. Later, the girls come home to the messy kitchen and bitch to Dave about the situation. Dave suggests that they leave a note for Greg, so Kimberly leaves him a note politely asking him to clean his dishes and take out his trash. Greg finds the note, and leaves one for Dave, Sarah and Kimberly that says “Fuck You.” Join me after the jump for the rest of the friendliness.