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Gauntlet III Recap – Girl Fight! Sunday, February 3, 2008

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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This episode opens with Nehemiah talking to Beth about how their “relationship” was portrayed by her on the Duel. He is pretty pissed off that she said things like “Nehemiah is following me like a sick little puppy”, and he wants everyone to know that they never hooked up because she is not his type. After his big speech, everyone starts clapping. Join me after the jump to see how the rest of these little bitches get along.

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Gauntlet III Recap – That Bitch is Crazy! Sunday, January 27, 2008

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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Welcome, my friends, to the latest incarnation of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge – the Gauntlet III. This season will pit the Rookies (anyone with 1 or 0 prior Challenges) vs. the Veterans (anyone with 2 or more prior Challenges). Sorry this recap is getting up so late – sometimes Real Life takes precedence over the Real World (/Road Rules) – fuck, I’m clever. Join me after the jump for all of the details of the opening episode.

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Real World Recap – Dunbar Continues to Make Baby Jesus Cry Sunday, January 13, 2008

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The final episode of this season opens with Dunbar talking to Isaac about the situation with Ashli. Dunbar starts off the episode in keeping with his usual douchebaggery by stating “The only time that Ashli doesn’t talk is when my dick is in her mouth.” Isaac is surprised, since Dunbar has just confirmed that he and Ashli did have sex (yes, oral counts Bill!), and tells him that he should call JUlie and tell her that he cheated. At the same time, the girls are all talking about how Dunbar wants all of them to like him. We also see Cohutta and KellyAnne talking about how they will handle their relationship after the show, and it appears that Cohutta is all but ready to get married (seriously, settle down fella). Join me after the jump to see how Dunbar continues his streak of being the biggest asshole ever to appear on The Real World.

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Real World Recap – Isaac Takes It To Another Level Sunday, January 6, 2008

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This episode opens with the roommates doing some white-water rafting (random!) while we see Isaac saying “Everyone who knows me knows that I am deathly afraid of any kind of commitment.” He goes on to note that “after this ordeal, it’s time to move on to the next level” (whatever the heck that means). Join me after the jump to find out just how f’ing cool Isaac truly is.

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Real World Recap – Why is Isaac So Awesome? Thursday, December 27, 2007

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Many of my recaps have focused on why Dunbar is such a huge douchebag. He still is, but several commenters have noted that Isaac is also quite possibly the coolest cat to ever appear on the Real World. Why? Well, follow me after the jump for an example of the awesomeness that is Isaac.

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Real World Recap – Dunbar is a Douchebag of Mammoth Proportions. Friday, December 21, 2007

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This episode opens with all of the roommates sitting in the kitchen, with Dunbar bitching about how Parissa has broken the coffee machine because she drinks too much coffee (yes, God forbid someone use the machine for its intended purpose). Ashli responds with the underwhelming comment that Dunbar is “being stupid” (gee, you think?). Follow me after the jump to see just how far his stupidity extends.

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Real World Recap – Dunbar Locks Up the Douchebag of the Year Award. Friday, December 14, 2007

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This episode opens at night with a shot of Ashli sleeping in her bed. We see Dunbar come in and jump into bed with her (trust, that sequence is important). Cut to Ashli in the confessional – “He would do anything he wanted if he knew that Julie wouldn’t find out.” We then see Isaac and Dunbar talking (presumably, either Dunbar got out of bed or this is poor sequential editing. I vote for option B), and Isaac asks Dunbar “Why does every girl in this house want to bang you?” Failing to detect the sarcasm, Dunbar replies “Because I have a girlfriend.” Follow me after the jump to experience Dunbar in all of his douchebaggery.

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Real World Recap – The Prodigal Son Returns. Friday, December 7, 2007

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This episode opens with Isaac returning to the house after his grandfather’s funeral. He has responded to this time of family crisis by saying “I just want to come back and let it all hang out. I just want to party.” Follow me after the jump to see exactly how he goes about accomplishing his goals.

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Real World Recap – So Long, Farewell! Friday, November 30, 2007

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This episode picks up right where we last left off, with a nice recap of Trisha and Parissa raising holy hell. Trisha rushes back to the phone and tells her father, “I just pushed a fat girl” (her religious parents must be so proud!). She and Parissa then have this brilliant exchange: Parissa – “Go ahead and talk to them. You’re better than me in every way!” Trisha – “I know.” (Hint: She will be tasting some humble pie, although she eats it completely obliviously). Join me after the jump for all of the repercussions.

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Real World Recap – Dunbar Reaches Legendary Douchebag Status. Also, VIOLENCE! Friday, November 23, 2007

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This episode opens with Trisha on the phone with Jarod. While she is on the phone, Parissa’s family calls (apparently several times, if Trisha is to be believed), which interrupts her conversation. When she is done, she tells Parissa that it was rude that her parents called “50,000 times”. Parissa responds by telling Trisha that she is the one being rude and of course they begin to argue.Trisha finishes up with the brilliant “I apologize, but not sincerely”. How does this go over? Join me after the jump to find out.

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Real World Recap – Yay, The New Girl Is A Slut! Monday, November 19, 2007

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This episode opens with Isaac leaving a note for all the roommates stating that he has faxed himself to China and will “rescently [sic] be sending schimatics [sic]” for them to locate him. Alrighty then. With that strange turn of events in motion, let’s explore the rest of this episode, shall we?

 [What's that? This recap is late? Well fuck you too - I had to go away on business and didn't watch the episode until today. Fuckin' lazy bastards]

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Real World Recap – Fresh Meat Ashli Arrives. Friday, November 9, 2007

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Given Shauvon’s shocking (not really) departure, this episode opens with most of the roommates wondering about who their new roommate will be and when they will arrive (Isaac is on the phone with Noirin, too busy to be bothered with such trivial matters). So who is it? Join me after the jump to find out.

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Real World Recap – Shauvon Beats It! Friday, November 2, 2007

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This episode opens with KellyAnne on the phone with her ex-boyfriend, Sutton (what is it with people on this show and their exes?). At the same time, Isaac and Dunbar are telling Cohutta that his “relationship” with KellyAnne is a lost cause, and he needs to cut her loose. A little later, we see all the roommates at work, where their boss Chris tells them that are going on an adventure vacation to Cairns, Australia (home of the Great Barrier Reef) while also getting an opportunity to see the organizational side of Contiki tours. Join me after the jump to find out how Shauvon fucks this up.

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Real World Recap – Dunbar Continues His Douchey Streak. Friday, October 26, 2007

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This episode opens with Shauvon making a phone call to David (her ex-fiance). She gets his voicemail, which says “If this is Shauvon, just know that this is a new phone and I’m having problems with it” (sure, buddy). Shauvon leaves a message, and then goes to talk to KellyAnne about the situation. KellyAnne tells her “if you really love him, you should go” (way to be supportive of her independence!). Join me after the jump to find out how the rest of episode focuses on Dunbar being a very large turd.

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Real World Recap – Turn the Hose On ‘Em, Those Bitches Are At It Again! Friday, October 19, 2007

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So this episode picks up exactly where last episode last off – with Parissa and Tricia screaming vulgarities at each other. Shauvon tries to intervene, but the two other girls are too intent on ripping each other to pieces (unfortunately, no clothing was torn off in the process). Join me after the jump to find out just how bad things got.

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Real World Recap – OOH, No, She Didn’t! Friday, October 12, 2007

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This episode opens with Trisha and Parissa talking about both of them taking a walk with Alex and laughing about things. A little later, KellyAnne tells Parissa that she has to tell Trisha that she kissed Alex, but Parissa says that Alex should be the one to set things striaght because he told her that he doesn’t like Trisha in that way. Want to find out how badly the shit hits the fan? Join me after the jump.

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Real World Recap – Whereupon We Realize That Cohutta is the Most Normal Person in the House. Friday, October 5, 2007

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This episode opens with Tricia and Isaac teasing Cohutta about having sex with KellyAnne, although Cohutta says that he won’t kiss and tell. Their conversation prompts Tricia to call her boyfriend and tell him about her flirting with Alex, the Aussie boy. Follow me after the jump to explore the rest of Alex’s antics.

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Real World Recap – Wow, Dunbar Annoys the Shit Out of Me. Friday, September 28, 2007

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This episode opens with the roommates getting a package from Contiki (the well-known “young adult” travel agency), and the girls go absolutely apeshit. This is followed by Cohutta proclaiming that he is concerned about working with them because none of the girls have ever had to work. Isaac and Dunbar agree, and they all sit around bitching about how they are capable of working so much harder than the girls (sexism much?). With that thrilling beginning to the episode, how could you possibly avoid joining me after the jump? You can’t – it was a rhetorical question.

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Real World Recap – Boys Will Be Boys Friday, September 14, 2007

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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Oh, kids, where will this all lead? The episode opens with Dunbar, Cohutta and KellyAnne out drinking at a bar. Clever watchers/readers will know that this is quite the trio, as Dunbar believes that KellyAnne is in love with him when in reality she has a crush on Cohutta even though she claims that she doesn’t. Cohutta, after giving a passable impersonation of “Blue Steel” (look it up, bitches), flirts with KellyAnne, telling her “I’ll teach you life lessons.” Follow me after the jump for more southern charm.

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Real World Recap – Relationship Drama (Surprise!) Friday, September 7, 2007

Posted by The NY Kid in Fuck You Nibbles, MTV, reality TV, undergroundBTO.
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So, this episode opens with an early morning view of KellyAnne crawling into bed with Cohutta, who is still sleeping. As he drifts in and out (not like that, pervs!), she begins rubbing his back. After several minutes of non-response, KellyAnne finally gives up and goes out into the living room. We see KellyAnne saying insightful things such as “He’s not my type” and “It’s just a phase”. Considering this show’s penchant (look it up!) for foreshadowing, why don’t you join me after the jump to view her pathetic shenanigans?

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