30 Rock 3.08 – Flu Shot Thursday, January 22, 2009Posted by The Bad One in 30 rock, nbc, The Bad One.
Tags: 30 rock, The Bad One
Liz is excited that she gets next week off and stops to shoot the breeze about it with a couple of crew members. They’re less excited as they have to stick around and break down the sets.
Kenneth asks her what happened to her exceedingly orange hand. She was trying out a new spray tanner to prep for her trip to St. Bartleby’s next week. When Kenneth sneezes, Liz is instantly wary. She doesn’t want to get sick for her trip. Meh. She’s getting on a plane, which is only marginally riskier than a side trip through a biological weapons lab. Liz: “The place I go to has private beaches, soft serve ice cream machines, and, after the French custom, people wear dark socks to the beach.” That seems odd when paired with other French customs. She even bought a new bathing suit, which looks more like a dress. She tells Cerie that it’s called a “tankort”. “You may have seen it in Us Weekly, being worn by Dame Judi Dench’s mother.”
Kenneth assures her she has nothing to worry about from him, since he has the constitution of an ox, but then turns and barfs all over his desk. Kenneth: “Oh no, I must have Ox Fever! When did I walk barefoot near an ox?” Liz orders him home and turns down the hall. Cerie runs after her to remind Liz that her vacation has been cancelled due to an overbooking problem at the hotel. Or she would have if she’d hit Send on her text. Oops.
Someone who’s not Jonathan lets Elisa into Jack’s office, and she runs across the office to jump into his arms and make out. Jack got them a reservation at a great sushi place for their first real date, but Salma can only stay for five minutes. She has another patient on her off days, an old guy with dementia. Jack offers to cook her dinner when she’s over taking care of Colleen, but Elisa points out that his house is her workplace, and besides, Colleen doesn’t seem to like them as a couple. Jack: “I hope you know that she acts like that because she hates every woman I like, it’s not because you’re a – I’m sorry, what do you call yourself?” Elisa: “I’m Puerto Rican.” Jack: “No, I know you can say that, but what do I call you?” Elisa: “A Puerto Rican.” Jack: “Wow. That does not sound right.”
Dr. Spaceman (!!!) prepares an injection as he asks Jack to drop his pants. He then delivers the shot into Jack’s arm. Liz walks in and Jack tells her Leo’s handing out flu shots. Leo: “Not my favorite part of the medical profession. My favorite part is attending executions.” Jack asks her what to do, since Elisa has to work all the time. Liz points out that this was the impasse with CC too. As Liz rolls up her sleeve, Jack asks her which five staffers are important enough to get Dr. Spaceman’s remaining doses. Liz objects to the rationing of healthcare, but Jack tells her it’s a perk of being among the elite. Still, she rejects it and opts not to get one of the shots herself based on principle.
Jack shows up at the door of Elisa’s other patient (HIPAA violation!) bearing dinner and Monopoly. She calls him out on how unethical this is and how the agency would fire her if they ever found out, but Jack points out that her patient isn’t really aware enough to even notice. He then stops fighting fair and begins massaging her shoulders. She caves.
Tracy and Jenna are arguing whether Kauai or Maui is more beautiful and Jenna appeals to Liz as arbiter. Liz is more concerned with the promos they’re supposed to shoot. She then notices the bandages from their flu shots. Tracy: “They said it’s a flu shot, but I know it’s really a truth serum.” She upbraids them for arguing about Hawaii while the crew is at death’s door with the flu, telling them they should do something for the crew.
In the wings, Jack is considering giving Kenneth one of the remaining doses. Kenneth: “No need sir, it would be an honor to die at my post and be given the traditional burial of a Parcell man: Wrapped in a Confederate flag, fried, and fed to dogs.” Liz again rejects the offered flu shot if the crew doesn’t get them, earning her a “You tell ‘em, Liz!” from one of the guys. Liz: “We gotta fight the power! Fight the powers that be! This makes me wanna shoop!”
Miraculously, Jenna and Tracy have decided to get the crew members soup, so they summon Kenneth to have him do that. But he’s the last page standing and can’t make any runs. He suggests that they could go get the soup. He then explains in great detail what they’d need to do, but Jenna convinces him to give it a go.
Jack is on the phone with Elisa, who’s over at Mr. Templeton’s again. Jack: “How I envy him. I wish you’d excercise my muscles so they don’t atrophy.” He’ll be over later, but first he has a charity performance of The Lion King to attend. She pouts that she can’t enjoy herself like a member of the upper middle class, but Jack asks her why not, persuading her to accompany him.
Up go the strains of Michael Buble singing “Mr. Templeton”, which has to be just for the show. It’s perfect. Lyrics. Elisa and Jack share wine and a flaming dessert as Mr. Templeton sits next to them. They wheel him up to one of those fake robot guys in the duct tape costumes. They all attend The Lion King. He rolls away as they make out in the park.
The next day, the crew thank Liz for her flu shot stand by getting her a meat plate. She thanks them, then checks her phone. Text from Cerie: “UR V8K8SH1 iz baqon”. After getting her to translate, suddenly the stakes for not getting sick are a lot higher. She imagines herself down in St. Bartleby’s with a cabana boy giving her a drink and her own personal table tortoise. It’s at this point that I wish I’d seen more zombie movies, because that’s how Liz sees her crew. She escapes Lutz, Kenneth, and Pete, and begs Spaceman for a shot. He makes her dance for it. Leo: “Very nice.”
She comes out of Spaceman’s office to find Jenna and Tracy returning, an hour late for their promo shoot. Tracy explains why they were out, but they forgot about the soup and just went shopping. Liz cuts their shopping montage. Jenna decides they better figure out something else to do for the crew.
Liz keeps up the charade of not getting the shot in front of some crewmen, then approaches Jack, who talks about his date. Liz is appalled by the breach of ethics in taking Mr. Templeton along. Jack connects it to Liz’s principled stand against the flu shot. It’s here you can notice a small red dot on her arm at the injection site. This becomes relevant when Jack notes that a small rash appears there 24 hours after getting the shot. She goes into wardrobe to find a cover up, where Kenneth finds her out, but she dodges him by telling him it’s all a fever dream.
At Mr. Templeton’s, Salma is all dolled up to go out with Jack (and showing off the boobage once more) when the buzzer rings. Mr. Templeton’s son has shown up unexpectedly. Jack hides behind the curtains. He apparently doesn’t find it odd in any way that she’s dressed to the nines and sporting some serious cleavage in place of her scrubs. She tells him his father is stable but vegetative, “totally unaware of his surroundings.” Whereupon Templeton grabs his son’s hand. “A man comes at night. He comes to the house and takes me. He wears a suit. His hair is thick like a Bolshevik commissar. He made me watch a giraffe with the legs of a man! He gave money to a silver man! He ate a plate of fire!” His son tries to talk him down, but he’s concerned as to why his dad is so worked up. Elisa plays it off as probably the effect of watching too many cartoons.
Jenna has decided that laughter is the best medicine, so they should put on a show.
Elisa grabs the younger Mr. Templeton and shanghais him into the other room as Jack tries to sneak out. Mr. Templeton the Elder wakes up, alarmed, but Jack explains what’s been going on and begs him not to blow the whistle on them. Mr. Templeton: “All right, but next time we go out I wanna go to Washington Square Park. It’s where I proposed to my wife. And then I wanna go to a Negro bar.”
Tracy and Jenna are dressed up as terrifying clowns and start putting on a show. Liz shuts them down, but gets a pie in the face and stomach for her efforts. Not thinking quickly enough, she takes off her jacket and a crewman notes the telltale mark on her arm. Lemon, outed.
Up in Jack’s office, he tells Liz to embrace her elitism. Jack: “What do we elites do when we screw up? We pretend it never happened and give ourselves a giant bonus!” Liz protests that she doesn’t deserve it, but Jack points out that his own ethical lapse has made him and Elisa happier and that Liz should just enjoy her vacation. Not everyone gets her opportunities, but she should take advantage of them. Karma then strikes both of them down. It seems Spaceman’s stock of vaccine was more lively than it should have been and the symptoms are starting to hit, and Michael Buble warbles over the credits.