Percy and Padfoot has Harry waking early on Saturday to write to Sirius. He spends a long time trying to figure out what he can say that is in code and he finally manages to express his dislike for Umbridge, that his scar is hurting and that he’s wondering where Hagrid is. He goes to send the letter and runs into Cho in the Owlery, sending her mom a birthday present. She calls him brave for standing up to Umbridge like he did and says that she believes him. Filch bursts in, saying he was tipped off that Harry was ordering dungbombs from somewhere and that he wants to inspect Harry’s letter but he’s already sent it.

At breakfast, Hermione spots an article in the Daily Prophet about Sturgis Podmore, one of the Order members, being arrested and charged with trespass and attempted robbery when he was caught trying to force his way into a high-security door at the Ministry. Ron says that it’s probably a frame-up and Hermione thinks Ron may be right. That afternoon, the Gryffindor team has their first Quidditch practice. Ron doesn’t do well and the Slytherins are there to make fun of him, which just makes him more nervous. After practice, Ron is in a right foul mood when Hermes brings a letter from Percy. Percy is basically a giant ass, telling Ron to stay away from Dumbledore and Harry. Hermione gets a strange look on her face, watching Ron get upset about the letter and she abruptly agrees to correct their Astronomy papers. Awwww, Hermione lurves Ron!

As she scratches away, suddenly Sirius’s head appears in the fireplace. He talks with the Trio about how Umbridge is really foul, but she’s not in league with Voldemort and the scar hurting must’ve been a coincidence. Sirius reminds them that the world is not made up of Good People and Death Eaters, which is SUCH a good point. He also says that the reason the Ministry’s acting all crappy is because Fudge is convinced Dumbledore is training some sort of Army to rise up against the Ministry. Finally, Sirius says he wants to become a dog and meet them in Hogsmeade and Harry and Hermione say no, that Draco recognized him on the train platform. Sirius gets all petulant and mean, saying that Harry is less like James than he thought. Jerk.

The Hogwarts High Inquisitor features a Daily Prophet announcement that Delores Umbridge is now the, well, High Inquisitor of Hogwarts. She will be able to evaluate how teachers are doing. Harry and Hermione are furious but Ron starts smiling, saying he can’t wait to see Umbridge try to evaluate McGonagall. Hee! The first evaluation they witness is in Divination. Ron and Harry actually start to feel sorry for Trelawney because Umbridge is really hard on her, even if she is an old fraud.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, Umbridge sets them reading chapter 2 and Hermione pipes up that she’s read chapter 2 already. Umbridge tells her to read chapter 3 and Hermione says she’s read the whole book and is even able to quote things from it when Umbridge asks. Umbridge can’t help but be a little impressed. Damn right. Hermione asks questions and Umbridge takes points from Gryffindor for her interruptions. She says they have had horrible DADA teachers, except for Quirrell, who at least restricted himself to age-appropriate content and Harry says loudly that Quirrell was great, except for the fact that he had Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head. He gets another detention.

Angelina Johnson gets wind of his detention and tears Harry a new one in the Great Hall at breakfast, getting a reprimand from McGonagall for her ruckus. (What ruckus? Could you describe the ruckus, sir?) McGonagall hears of Harry’s detention, after she told him to be careful and she reprimands him too. He and Ron are quite upset with her, but that is until that afternoon’s Transfiguration class. Umbridge shows up and McGonagall starts right in, telling her she doesn’t permit anyone to interrupt her. Umbridge looks like she’s been slapped. After class, Umbridge tells her she’ll receive her results in ten days’ time and McGonagall snaps, “I can hardly wait.” I can just HEAR Maggie Smith saying that and I just laugh and laugh. McGonagall RULES in this book. THEN: “Harry could not help giving her a faint smile and could have sworn he received one in return.” Awesome.

In Care of Magical Creatures, Umbridge evaluates Grubbly-Plank and tries to get information out of her about where Hagrid is, but G-P doesn’t know anything. Her evaluation seems to go okay, until Draco brings up being slashed by a Hippogriff and Harry says it was only because Draco was too stupid to listen to directions. He gets another detention.

That night, his hand is just now bleeding freely and is wrapped in a hankerchief. Hermione has murtlap essence ready for him in the common room, to soak his hand in. Hermione uses this chance to bring up an idea she had about starting a homework group to learn Defense Against the Dark Arts from a proper teacher. She hems and haws until finally Harry gets it that she means him. Ron pipes up that that’s actually a good idea and they start rattling off all the things he’s done. Harry tries to interject that he had help or he just got lucky or guessed right, but they laugh at his modesty — until he really gets angry at them, smashing the bowl of murtlap essence. He has a great little speech about how they don’t know what it’s like, it’s not about memorizing spells, like you’re in class. The whole time he was wondering if he was going to die and the two of them sit there and act like he’s just a clever boy to be alive and that Diggory was stupid, like he messed up or something.

Andrea Cries #19. Seriously, this speech really gets to me because Harry is still so upset about not being able to save Cedric and it really upsets him that people think that Cedric somehow screwed up or something. Ron and Hermione are completely stricken at Harry’s reaction, insisting that they would never have a go at Cedric. Hermione says this is why they need Harry to teach them, so they know what it’s really like facing Voldemort. (It’s the first time Hermione says his name. Big step.) She asks Harry to at least think about it and then she and head off to bed. (Not together. Geez, pervs.)

In the Hog’s Head sees two weeks pass where Hermione doesn’t bring it up, but finally she asks Harry if he’s given it any more thought and Harry secretly admits to himself that he’s been giving it a lot of thought, even planning lesson plans in his head. Awwww! Hermione insists that Harry really is gifted at DADA. Viktor told her that Harry knew things that even he didn’t know and he is in his final year at Durmstrang. Ron’s jealousy over Krum rears its little head for a second, but Hermione pushes through and says that she thinks Harry should teach whoever is interested. She’s going to have a meeting on the next Hogsmeade visit.

When it arrives, Hermione takes Harry and Ron to the Hog’s Head, a sketchier bar where they are less likely to be overheard. Inside, they each get a butterbeer and then Harry wonders how many are coming. He gets his answer when Neville, Dean, Lavender, Parvati, Padma, Cho, Cho’s Yucky Friend, Katie, Alicia, Angelina, Colin, Dennis, Ernie, Justin, Hannah, Susan, Anthony, Michael, Terry, Ginny, Fred, George and Lee all come traipsing in. Heh.

(Alright, I’m off to see Ratatoille with my little cousin. The rest of this later!)

Okay, I’m back.  Sorry for the weird delay.  My internet usage gets all wonky when I go home.  Did you guys know Barnes & Noble CHARGES for internet usage?  $4/two hours.  Bullshit.

Okay, so when we last left our fair Trio, they were in the Hog’s Head, greeting 25 people.  Hermione takes point and starts telling them that they need to study DADA, not just for their OWLs but also to be prepared because Lord Voldemort is back.  Zacharias Smith starts being an asshole and Harry jumps in to say that if they’re here just to get the dirt about Cedric’s death, then they can clear out.

Everybody starts to defend Harry and all the stuff he’s done, with Harry uncomfortably protesting.  Zach again jumps in and asks if Harry’s trying to weasel out of teaching them and Ron tells him to shut his mouth.  Go Ron.  They basically decide that their group needs to meet about once a week and that information about meeting time and place will be forthcoming.  Hermione also tells them that this is on the DL and has them sign a piece of parchment to agree not to tell Umbridge or anybody what they’re up to.  After the meeting, Cho kind of lingers to talk to Harry but her Yucky Friend drags her out.

As the Trio walk down the street in Hogsmeade, Hermione lets the boys know that Michael Corner and his friends only came because Michael’s going out with Ginny.  Ron chokes on his butterbeer (heh) and says he thought she fancied Harry.  Hermione says she did, but she gave up on him months ago.  She pauses to reassure Harry that Ginny still likes him, she just doesn’t like him-like him and that’s why she talks to him now.  Ron continues to mutter all the way down the street and Hermione teases Harry about Cho staring at him all meeting.  Woo woo.

Educational Decree #24 has the High Inquisitor posting a notice that all clubs/organizations/societies etc are hereby disbanded and need permission from Umbridge to reform.  Harry and Ron try to run up to Hermione’s dorm room to tell her and the staircase turns into a slide and they fall back down.  That is such an awesome little detail that I really hope is in the movie.  Ron tells her that somebody must have blabbed about the secret DADA group, but Hermione says they can’t have because she charmed the parchment they all signed and that person would be very unhappy if he or she had blabbed.  Man, Hermione is SNEAKY.

Angelina comes up to Harry and Ron in the Great Hall to tell them that the decree includes Quidditch and that she needs Harry to really be on his best behavior now so that they can reform the Quidditch team.  In History of Magic, Hedwig appears at the window and is hurt.  Harry takes her to the staffroom, where Grubbly-Plank (awesomely smoking a pipe) takes her for a few days to mend her back to health.  Harry also tells McGonagall that Hedwig was traveling from London (meaning: Grimmauld Place) and she reminds him that channels of communication are being watched.

The letter Hedwig was delivering is from Sirius and just says, “Today, same Bat time, same Bat channel.”  Hermione thinks that Hedwig was attacked so that someone could read Harry’s mail.  In Potions, Draco brags how the Slytherin Quidditch team was allowed to reform right away and manages to make fun of Harry, saying soon he’ll be carted off to the ward for crazies in St. Mungo’s Hospital.  Neville goes apeshit and Ron and Harry have to restrain him from killing Malfoy.  Ron and Hermione wonder what his deal is, but Harry doesn’t spill about Neville’s parents.

Umbridge is evaluating Snape in Potions and Harry is torn as to who he wants to see emerge victorious.  Frankly, I’d have thought Snape by a landslide.  For real.  He’s bad, but he’s not Umbridge.  Anyway, Snape gets needled by Umbridge about not getting the DADA job every year, so he takes it out on Harry by vanishing his ruined potion before he can turn any in to be graded.

In Divination, Harry and Ron learn that Trelawney’s been put on probation and she’s pretty upset about it.   After classes, Angelina informs Harry and Ron that there’s no Quidditch practice because Umbridge is still considering whether to let them reform.  That night, the Trio stay up in the common room waiting for Sirius to come calling.  He finally does and applauds them on their secret Defense Against the Dark Arts group.  He reveals that what they thought was a witch under a balaclava in the Hog’s Head was actually Mundungus Fletcher, tailing Harry just in case and he overheard everything.  Sirius relays Molly’s message that Ron is, under no circumstances, to participate in the group and that she advises Harry and Hermione not to either, though she acknowledges she is not either of their mothers.  Sirius tells them how great the group is and how proud he is of them.

They try to figure out a place to meet when suddenly Sirius vanishes and then a stubby hand covered in ugly rings is groping in the flames right where Sirius’s head was.  The Trio all run for it.  DUN DUN DUN.