BAM! Davis and Brooke are in bed together, and Brooke is clearly naked! Wait, you say, I’m confused – isn’t Davis the gay one? Ah, yes, but he has also tried to get into Brooke’s pants anyway, on numerous occasions. True, you say, but didn’t she turn him down? Follow me after the jump as we explore this conundrum.

Despite clearly being naked, Brooke tries to act like nothing is going on when other castmates wander into the room (or wake up in their own room to find naked Brooke). After the shenanigans (coitus interruptus) have concluded, Davis heads out to the bar with Jenn. While there, Davis confides that he wants a ‘guy friend’ (different from a ‘boyfriend’) to do ‘guy stuff’ with. He adds that he wishes it could be Tyrie, but he feels like Tyrie is put off by his homosexuality (Tim Hardaway thinks Tyrie is a good guy). After this discussion, Davis truly begins to work at his House Asshat award. He begins by telling Jenn that he thinks Colie has some attractive features, but that she is not pretty. Jenn simply nods and prods him to continue shitting all over her best friend in the house. Davis then says that he also feels that Brooke is not that attractive (really? did you feel that earlier in the day when she was naked in your bed?), and that she has a double-chin. Jenn, being a sly little devil, asks Davis to discuss her features, and he starts off with the brilliant “You could stand to lose some weight”. Hmm, I wonder how Jenn feels about that comment? Girls always respond well to being called fat, right?

Davis and Jenn go back to the house (she has somehow avoided killing him), and she proceeds to tell Colie and Brooke that Davis was talking smack about that, but she doesn’t give any details. Later in the day, we see Brooke with her parents (who are in town visiting). After Brooke tells them that Davis has been bad-mouthing her, they go back to the house and guess who they meet? Davis! AWKWARD! Davis even manages to compliment Brooke, telling her that she looks pretty. Brooke’s dad, who apparently has no testicles, doesn’t say anything to Davis about mistreating Brooke. Seriously? My response in this situation would have been to sit Davis down and tell him that if he ever spoke that way about my daughter again I would inflict serious physical and mental anguish upon him (I’m gonna be a great Dad someday).

We then focus on Jazelle, who has shown up at the house unannounced. Tyrie goes outside to meet her, and she informs him that she missed him too much and had to see him. Tyrie seems vaguely disturbed (STALKER ALERT!), and tells her that he will call her the next day. Ever a man of his word, Tyrie does indeed call Jazelle the next day, and they wind up arguing (again). During the next phone conversation, Tyrie breaks up with Jazelle and declares that “Dark Kent” is back. (This guy has more alter egos than Clinton Portis).

We also see Davis having lunch with Stephen and Alex, who are telling Davis how upset the girls are about the things that he said. Davis’ reaction absolutely seals the deal for his House Asshat prize – he informs them he doesn’t care how the girls feel because they are mean, and he was just being honest (Davis will be playing one of the “Mean Girls” in a remake of the Lindsay Lohan movie). Later that night, everyone goes out to the bar (anyone ever get the feeling that the cast of the Real World always drinks a lot? This might be worth looking into) and Brooke confronts Davis. Strangely enough, he tells her exactly what he said, and is then surprised when she gets upset. Brooke storms off, eventually winding up back home when she engineers an incredible breakdown – sobbing uncontrollably in the bathroom, yelling unintelligibly (I think I caught a few “Why”s and “How dare you”s in there), destroying some of Davis’ belongings. The capper comes as Brooke leaves a note for Davis on his bed:

Davis, you are the nastiest person I have ever met. I will never

trust you again. Burn in Hell. Love, Brooke.

(Hey, at least she said “Love”, right?). Davis wakes up the next day with a massive hangover, finds the note, and then does some soul-searching. He realizes that he is sometimes too honest (read: too much of an asshat), and that he needs to stop being so blunt to people. Davis finds Brooke and apologizes, and everything is all puppies and fluffy clouds again.

Next week: Will Davis continue his strong run towards the House Asshat competition, or will Stephen make a comeback. Will Tyrie develop an STD? Will Brooke snap and kill someone in an apoplectic rage? Sometimes, these people really frighten me.