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NCAA with a Deadon Twist: South + Final Four Prediction Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Posted by LenBiasCocaineSurplus in 3:16, beating the dead horse, black people, hentai tentacle porn, Len Bias Cocaine Surplus.
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While most “experts” would have you believe that the fate of the NCAA tourney depends on the skills of the players on the court and the coaches on the sideline and how much money the dean’s pay off the refs to give them the calls I have a different theory.

The NCAA March Madness tourney can be predicted properly simply using the mascot names and the famous alumni and several other factors that will be fed into a computer giving me the proper picks.

Follow me for today’s team previews of the South region

If you missed the other previews.

East

West

Midwest

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1. THE Ohio State Buckeyes

Famous Alumni- R.L. Stine, Jim Jinkins, Richard Lewis, Bruce Vilanch, Grey Goose

Mascot- A tree? I hope they play a team called the Lumberjacks. 0/10

Tidbit- The oldest organization they have is the Glee Club

Best youtube video

sg1027.jpg

2. Memphis Tigers

Famous Alumni- Dixie Carter, Micheal Jeter, Winky Martindale, Fred Thompson

Mascot- 9/10. I learned my lesson from Sigfried and Roy. Those beasts can maul and will maul.

Tidbit- The school colors were picked just after the Civil War and were meant to avoid conflict

Best Youtube Video

lyle_lovett.jpg

3. Texas A&M Aggies

Famous Alumni- Lyle Lovett, Robert Earl Keen, Roger Creager, Christian Band Shane and Shane

Mascot- I have learned that the definition of the Aggie means that their nickname just means the students. So the students are the mascot. My ruling goes the same for them as it did for the Fighting Irish. Depends on how drunk they are.

Tidbit- They have a monthly ceremony called Silver Taps to honor people lost Aggies. Ironically they also have a bonfire which has a tendency to lose those Aggies. Too soon?

Best Youtube Video

cavalier.jpg

3. Virginia Cavaliers

Famous Alumni- Katie Couric, Dave Matthews, Tina Fey, Amanda Paige,

Mascot- Got to love a man with a funny hat, a funny mustache and a sword. 9/10

Tidbit- They have an “honor system” that allows professors to do things like assign timed take-home exams. I also just sent my application in based on that fact.

Best Youtube Video

volunteer-support-picture.gif

5. Tennessee Volunteers

Famous Alumni- Deana Carter, NWO Member Kevin Nash, Woody Paige and quarterbacks with laser, rocket arms

Mascot- Seriously a Volunteer? The only reason this isn’t getting a negative infinity because I actually know what that is.

Tidbit- Their Greek societies keep getting into trouble. The best was one had their charter removed when all their members painted their faces black to mock black people

Best Youtube Video

cardinal_patrick_hayes.jpg

6. Louisville Cardinals

Famous Alumni- …Sue Grafton?

Mascot- While quite adorable the cardinal is not an intimidating bird. 2/10

Tidbit- The only school in Kentucky offering a degree in women studies.

Best Youtube Video

wolfpac.jpg

7. Nevada Wolfpack

Famous Alumni- Nevada-Tan

Mascot- Now one wolf would be hard. A unorganized group of wolves would be harder. A wolfpack? That’s trouble. 10/10

Tidbit- In 2004 an 11-year-old child in Japan murdered one of her classmates and became known in the media as Nevada-tan, because of a widely distributed photo of her wearing a University of Nevada sweatshirt.

Best Youtube Video

mormon-translation-south-park.jpg

8. Brigham Young University Storming Mormons

Famous Alumni- Jon Heder, Ken Jennings, Julie Stoffer,

Mascot- No one is scared of Mormons or the state of Utah. 0/10

Tidbit- Campus wide ban on alcohol and tobacco. All work no play makes Jack a dull boy.

I posted that video on the BYU March Madness Facebook group and got the following response.

“don’t sweat it. its really all that can be expected from someone who goes to a backwoods, inbred school focused on making kids with learning disabilities feel like they can be college kids too. MCLA is a joke. and brian, you’re a joke. i would a tell you to get a life but i’m sure it’s hard to find time in your schedule between remedial basket weaving and ADHD 101.

signed,
a student of a private university”

Jokes got banned in the same bill as polygamy

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9. Xavier Mousketeers

Famous Alumni- The VP of Disney

Mascot- What goes around, goes around, goes around. Comes all the way back around

Tidbit – They have a grade called VF. “Vanishing failure”

Best Youtube Video

sudia-bird-photo-blue-jay-head.Jpg

10. Creighton Bluejays

Famous Alumni- The lead singer of The Faint!

Mascot- I don’t recall anyone ever being killed by a bluejay. 3/10

Tidbit- In the last ten MLS drafts at least 1 player has been selected from Creighton

Best Youtube Video

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11. Stanford Cardinal

Famous Alumni- Jennifer Connelly, Fred Savage, Ben Savage, Adam West, Tiger Woods, John Elway, Sigourney Weave, Reese Witherspoon, the cross dressing president

Mascot- Naming your team after a color is one thing but having every mascot look like it was a part of a special ed kindergarten project is too much for me to handle. -1 quadrillion/10

Tidbit- Home of the proof that when horses run they sometimes have all four feet off the ground.

Best Youtube Video

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12. Long Beach St 49ers

Famous Alumni- Agnes de Mille, Joe Johnston, Steve Martin, Steven Spielburg, Bobby Hatfield

Mascot- While a 49er does have a pick and can fight they do have the directors of Jumanji, Jaws, Jurassic Park I-III and many more. They should be able to come up with something better. 6/10

Tidbit- Every year they hold a free pow-wow

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13. Albany Great Danes

Famous Alumni- the creator of the Post-It note. Thank you Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion

Mascot- Normally I would take points off just for a dog. But a GREAT Dane? That changes EVERYTHING. 9/10

Tidbit- Held the Princeton Review title for “#1 Party School” from 1998-2004

Best Youtube Video


14. University of Pennsylvania Veterinary Medicine Quakers

Famous Alumni- William Henry Harrison (the best president ever), Donald Trump, William Carlos Williamson

Mascot- My heart goes out to all of you. For your care and love for Barbaro. You are Angels On Earth. Barbaro is an Angel In Heaven. A very beautiful rainbow.My Love, Dee Mirich
Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.
posted on 2007-01-30 11:42:19

Tidbit- A student got charged with racial harassment for yelling at black girls “Shut up, you water buffalo”. Also Saad Saadi showed up the president’s Halloween party dressed as a suicide bomber.

Best Youtube Video

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15. North Texas Mean Green

Famous Alumni- Stone Cold Steve Austin, Both Von Erichs, Mean Joe Green, Meatloaf, Pat Boone, Bobby Fuller, Don Henley, Roy Orbison, The crazy old white guy from Walker Texas Ranger

Mascot- Their mascot is the Eagle although I believe according to their school name it should either be the Incredible Hulk or Stone Cold painted green. 6/10

Tidbit- Home of many firsts; such as the first college football team to go to a bowl game with a losing record.

Best Youtube video

bluedevil-07-dc-nm.jpg

16. The Good Blue Devils

Famous Alumni- Dave Campo

Mascot- All my depictions of the devil are red, but I’m still not messing with a devil no matter what color it is. 9/10

Tidbit- They have just 1 Greek society.

Predcitions: First Round: OSU, Stormin Mormons, Long Beach, Virginia, Louisville, Barbaro, NWO Wolfpack/Nevada Tan, MEAN GREEN

Second Round: Stormin Mormons, Long Beach, Barbaro, MEAN GREEN

Stormin Mormons, MEAN GREEN

Stormin Mormons.

The final four pits UNLV, VCU, MSU and BYU

I have VCU squeaking past UNLV but losing half their players in a hail of gun fire resulting from Suge Knights rage.

And BYU conjures up Mormon Jesus who cannot be boomshot’d to upset Bruce Cambell.

In the final BYU takes advantage of the lack of VCU players and wins it all.

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Comments»

1. throwbot - Wednesday, March 14, 2007

The MLS has a draft now?

2. steve - Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Re: Stanford Tree
He/She/It is more badass than we think.

Quoth Wikipedia

“In February 1995, during an ESPN-televised timeout during a basketball game at Maples Pavillion, the Stanford Tree and Cal’s Oski engaged in a fight in front of the Stanford student section. Oski’s head was removed during the scuffle, nearly exposing the mascot’s anonymity.”

That’s right, he/she/it kicked a bear’s ass.

3. steve - Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Also in 2006 when “The Tree” was observed drinking out of a flask and was cited for public drunkenness, this was the young lady manning the costume.

http://gostanford.cstv.com/sports/w-swim/mtt/lashnits_erin00.html

4. stopmikelupica - Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Wow, that Mormon video was quite offensive. Yeah, here’s some good-spirited advice from SML to LBCS that might help make life easier: Don’t spit in people’s eyes, unless you want to throwdown.

Great work otherwise, LBCS.

5. LenBiasCocaineSurplus - Wednesday, March 14, 2007

I am not scared of the throwing down with a Mormon


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