Despite the relative green-ness of our site so far, it’s never too early to bring some kind of fire. At my other blog, I get a lot of random, weird music sent to me, and this morning, I was given perhaps the best treasure chest of all. Whether it had something to do with the romance of the day or not is debatable, but I am certain that this is music for cunnilingus, fellatio, or impregnation. It will warm the cockles of anyone, from young to old, because frankly, its relentless pace and peaks are irresistible.

It’s some NFL Primetime music, instrumental-style. Anything you hear underneath the dulcet, subtle tones of Chris Berman [one might argue that if these tracks had his voice, the chances of sexual pleasure are greater, and I might well agree].

I’d love to think that these were not composed by some balding, sweaty man in a dank basement with a synthesizer and some electronic drums borrowed from Toto, but by some kind of supergroup, the kind of genre-bending assemblage that defies categorization [think: the shameful band of mercenaries that do the Monday Night Football intro song]. You can hear the energy dripping off the walls [or is that something else?], not to mention the arousing thought of your favorite franchise as it marches into the endzone.

However, each is subtlely different, and connotes wildy contrasting situations. As any football coach knows, calling the right play at the right time is important, and song choice is no different. Trying to get your loved one to try anal while listening to Limp Bizkit or Jimmy Buffett will almost certainly result in failure, and at DeadOn, failure does not exist.

So, let’s take a look at the NFL Primetime music in a whole new way. Come with me into the abyss, into a world that might change yours forever. (more…)